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Maggie0829

KaycieBerchiolli said:

banana468 said:

doeydo said:

You are just as married as any other husband and wife, whether they had a big fancy wedding or went to the JOP.  There is no point in your little plan, aside from getting a big dress, getting all dolled up, being the center of attention, etc. which is why it is called a Pretty Princess Day.  Now, you keep saying that your family and friends are supportive of you and like the idea.  Do you really expect your friends to tell you that your non-wedding is a terrible idea?  Most people would just smile and say "That sounds nice", which is not that they are really thinking.

I don't expect a random stranger to understand what we are doing or our beliefs, but I'd appreciate it if you did not belittle them.  And yes, in my family if someone did not approve of an idea it would be stated up front.  Perhaps our family is more old fashioned than some, but we believe in being honest even if it means someone is unhappy at what is said. Our "little plan" is important to us and a part of our beliefs.  We are very different people from when we first took our vows and one of the most prominent scholars (and member) of our faith has openly stated that a wedding is not a one time thing, that the marriage should be reevaluated constantly and that you can renew your commitment to one another....that was in the 1800's. Your beliefs may not be ours, but please respect that we would like to live our lives in the faith in which we have chosen.

Reevaluating and renewing your vows is completely different then having multiple "weddings".  You can certainly reevaluate and renew your vows without the need of a large party, white dress, BMs, GMs, and everything else that goes along with a wedding.

And back in the 1800's people didn't have lavish weddings like they do today.  The wore their Sunday best (no big white dress) and with close family and friends around said their vows to each other and maybe had a picnic.  So if you are going to listen to something that was said back in the 1800's maybe you should follow the entire meaning fully and have a simple affair which you already have had.

KaycieBerchiolli

Maggie0829 said:

KaycieBerchiolli said:

banana468 said:

doeydo said:

You are just as married as any other husband and wife, whether they had a big fancy wedding or went to the JOP.  There is no point in your little plan, aside from getting a big dress, getting all dolled up, being the center of attention, etc. which is why it is called a Pretty Princess Day.  Now, you keep saying that your family and friends are supportive of you and like the idea.  Do you really expect your friends to tell you that your non-wedding is a terrible idea?  Most people would just smile and say "That sounds nice", which is not that they are really thinking.

I don't expect a random stranger to understand what we are doing or our beliefs, but I'd appreciate it if you did not belittle them.  And yes, in my family if someone did not approve of an idea it would be stated up front.  Perhaps our family is more old fashioned than some, but we believe in being honest even if it means someone is unhappy at what is said. Our "little plan" is important to us and a part of our beliefs.  We are very different people from when we first took our vows and one of the most prominent scholars (and member) of our faith has openly stated that a wedding is not a one time thing, that the marriage should be reevaluated constantly and that you can renew your commitment to one another....that was in the 1800's. Your beliefs may not be ours, but please respect that we would like to live our lives in the faith in which we have chosen.

Reevaluating and renewing your vows is completely different then having multiple "weddings".  You can certainly reevaluate and renew your vows without the need of a large party, white dress, BMs, GMs, and everything else that goes along with a wedding.

And back in the 1800's people didn't have lavish weddings like they do today.  The wore their Sunday best (no big white dress) and with close family and friends around said their vows to each other and maybe had a picnic.  So if you are going to listen to something that was said back in the 1800's maybe you should follow the entire meaning fully and have a simple affair which you already have had.

I never said we weren't being simple, it has been assumed we weren't.  By todays standards it is being kept very small. I'm not wearing a white dress, we are having a luncheon not a long night partying.  Go "attack" someone else.

Maggie0829

KaycieBerchiolli said:

Maggie0829 said:

KaycieBerchiolli said:

banana468 said:

doeydo said:

You are just as married as any other husband and wife, whether they had a big fancy wedding or went to the JOP.  There is no point in your little plan, aside from getting a big dress, getting all dolled up, being the center of attention, etc. which is why it is called a Pretty Princess Day.  Now, you keep saying that your family and friends are supportive of you and like the idea.  Do you really expect your friends to tell you that your non-wedding is a terrible idea?  Most people would just smile and say "That sounds nice", which is not that they are really thinking.

I don't expect a random stranger to understand what we are doing or our beliefs, but I'd appreciate it if you did not belittle them.  And yes, in my family if someone did not approve of an idea it would be stated up front.  Perhaps our family is more old fashioned than some, but we believe in being honest even if it means someone is unhappy at what is said. Our "little plan" is important to us and a part of our beliefs.  We are very different people from when we first took our vows and one of the most prominent scholars (and member) of our faith has openly stated that a wedding is not a one time thing, that the marriage should be reevaluated constantly and that you can renew your commitment to one another....that was in the 1800's. Your beliefs may not be ours, but please respect that we would like to live our lives in the faith in which we have chosen.

Reevaluating and renewing your vows is completely different then having multiple "weddings".  You can certainly reevaluate and renew your vows without the need of a large party, white dress, BMs, GMs, and everything else that goes along with a wedding.

And back in the 1800's people didn't have lavish weddings like they do today.  The wore their Sunday best (no big white dress) and with close family and friends around said their vows to each other and maybe had a picnic.  So if you are going to listen to something that was said back in the 1800's maybe you should follow the entire meaning fully and have a simple affair which you already have had.

I never said we weren't being simple, it has been assumed we weren't.  By todays standards it is being kept very small. I'm not wearing a white dress, we are having a luncheon not a long night partying.  Go "attack" someone else.

How is me stating my opinion on something that you wrote an "attack"?  Please enlighten me?

And my main point in my post was that back in the 1800s the weddings were simple, which means that when it came time to reevaluate or renew their vows, couples most likely did nothing but talk to their pastor or priest.  They did not have parties.  So again, if you are going to go by what was said back in the 1800's then you should follow it fully.

southernbelle0915

KaycieBerchiolli said:

banana468 said:

Are you doing a religious ceremony at all?

We are doing a religious ceremony, but for our religion it only needs to be someone who shares your faith, they do not need to be ordained.  We are not having the head of our congregation but a friend who shares our faith and volunteered when she heard we were planning to do a renewal. There are special renewal documents, similar to a marriage license that you and witnesses sign. 

I understand not all faiths believe marriage is something you can renew, but for ours it is believed that you should regularly evaluate it since you are not the same two giddy kids you were at the start.

doeydo said:

You are just as married as any other husband and wife, whether they had a big fancy wedding or went to the JOP.  There is no point in your little plan, aside from getting a big dress, getting all dolled up, being the center of attention, etc. which is why it is called a Pretty Princess Day.  Now, you keep saying that your family and friends are supportive of you and like the idea.  Do you really expect your friends to tell you that your non-wedding is a terrible idea?  Most people would just smile and say "That sounds nice", which is not that they are really thinking.

I don't expect a random stranger to understand what we are doing or our beliefs, but I'd appreciate it if you did not belittle them.  And yes, in my family if someone did not approve of an idea it would be stated up front.  Perhaps our family is more old fashioned than some, but we believe in being honest even if it means someone is unhappy at what is said. Our "little plan" is important to us and a part of our beliefs.  We are very different people from when we first took our vows and one of the most prominent scholars (and member) of our faith has openly stated that a wedding is not a one time thing, that the marriage should be reevaluated constantly and that you can renew your commitment to one another....that was in the 1800's. Your beliefs may not be ours, but please respect that we would like to live our lives in the faith in which we have chosen.

What is your faith? I've never heard of this before so I'm curious. 

I think people might just be confused because everywhere else you've been posting you've been calling your event a wedding, not a vow renewal. I was definitely confused and thought you were planning a wedding.

KaycieBerchiolli

Maggie0829 said:

KaycieBerchiolli said:

Maggie0829 said:

KaycieBerchiolli said:

banana468 said:

doeydo said:

You are just as married as any other husband and wife, whether they had a big fancy wedding or went to the JOP.  There is no point in your little plan, aside from getting a big dress, getting all dolled up, being the center of attention, etc. which is why it is called a Pretty Princess Day.  Now, you keep saying that your family and friends are supportive of you and like the idea.  Do you really expect your friends to tell you that your non-wedding is a terrible idea?  Most people would just smile and say "That sounds nice", which is not that they are really thinking.

I don't expect a random stranger to understand what we are doing or our beliefs, but I'd appreciate it if you did not belittle them.  And yes, in my family if someone did not approve of an idea it would be stated up front.  Perhaps our family is more old fashioned than some, but we believe in being honest even if it means someone is unhappy at what is said. Our "little plan" is important to us and a part of our beliefs.  We are very different people from when we first took our vows and one of the most prominent scholars (and member) of our faith has openly stated that a wedding is not a one time thing, that the marriage should be reevaluated constantly and that you can renew your commitment to one another....that was in the 1800's. Your beliefs may not be ours, but please respect that we would like to live our lives in the faith in which we have chosen.

Reevaluating and renewing your vows is completely different then having multiple "weddings".  You can certainly reevaluate and renew your vows without the need of a large party, white dress, BMs, GMs, and everything else that goes along with a wedding.

And back in the 1800's people didn't have lavish weddings like they do today.  The wore their Sunday best (no big white dress) and with close family and friends around said their vows to each other and maybe had a picnic.  So if you are going to listen to something that was said back in the 1800's maybe you should follow the entire meaning fully and have a simple affair which you already have had.

I never said we weren't being simple, it has been assumed we weren't.  By todays standards it is being kept very small. I'm not wearing a white dress, we are having a luncheon not a long night partying.  Go "attack" someone else.

How is me stating my opinion on something that you wrote an "attack"?  Please enlighten me?

And my main point in my post was that back in the 1800s the weddings were simple, which means that when it came time to reevaluate or renew their vows, couples most likely did nothing but talk to their pastor or priest.  They did not have parties.  So again, if you are going to go by what was said back in the 1800's then you should follow it fully.

I was referring to your signature. "~ Attacking cash bar lovers, etiquette-less brides and TK newbies since 2009 ~"

KaycieBerchiolli

southernbelle0915 said:

KaycieBerchiolli said:

banana468 said:

Are you doing a religious ceremony at all?

We are doing a religious ceremony, but for our religion it only needs to be someone who shares your faith, they do not need to be ordained.  We are not having the head of our congregation but a friend who shares our faith and volunteered when she heard we were planning to do a renewal. There are special renewal documents, similar to a marriage license that you and witnesses sign. 

I understand not all faiths believe marriage is something you can renew, but for ours it is believed that you should regularly evaluate it since you are not the same two giddy kids you were at the start.

doeydo said:

You are just as married as any other husband and wife, whether they had a big fancy wedding or went to the JOP.  There is no point in your little plan, aside from getting a big dress, getting all dolled up, being the center of attention, etc. which is why it is called a Pretty Princess Day.  Now, you keep saying that your family and friends are supportive of you and like the idea.  Do you really expect your friends to tell you that your non-wedding is a terrible idea?  Most people would just smile and say "That sounds nice", which is not that they are really thinking.

I don't expect a random stranger to understand what we are doing or our beliefs, but I'd appreciate it if you did not belittle them.  And yes, in my family if someone did not approve of an idea it would be stated up front.  Perhaps our family is more old fashioned than some, but we believe in being honest even if it means someone is unhappy at what is said. Our "little plan" is important to us and a part of our beliefs.  We are very different people from when we first took our vows and one of the most prominent scholars (and member) of our faith has openly stated that a wedding is not a one time thing, that the marriage should be reevaluated constantly and that you can renew your commitment to one another....that was in the 1800's. Your beliefs may not be ours, but please respect that we would like to live our lives in the faith in which we have chosen.

What is your faith? I've never heard of this before so I'm curious. 

I think people might just be confused because everywhere else you've been posting you've been calling your event a wedding, not a vow renewal. I was definitely confused and thought you were planning a wedding.

I do generally use the term wedding to avoid any backlash like what ended up happening.  I am Jewish, doing a formal renewal is a newer thing in our faith, but doing renewals is not.  Not all sects are the same and even within sects things can vary just like with other faiths.  Since we did not have the time to incorporate any of our religious beliefs into our JOP wedding we wanted to incorporate it now. It's important in my family to honor traditions and since we are both the only biological children our parents and grandparents want to play their traditional roles.  We are not letting anyone else pay for anything since we are doing a renewal, but we are having a lunch with all of our cousins, aunt and uncles and maybe 10-15 close friends. This is why we were torn on how many attendants to have.  We traditionally only have a moh and best man and 4 people (generally men) that are close and special to us that take part. Since we aren't having children to keep it smaller and intimate we were trying to incorporate children into the ceremony to allow some.  In the end we talked shortly after I posted the question and our junior bridesmaid (his niece) is going to pull our daughter in the wagon and since we aren't having rings to carry we are cutting ring bearers. We hadn't asked our friends about anyone else yet so it won't upset anyone. And we are using our 4 attendants to represent the 4 people who would traditionally hold a wedding canopy.

We are trying to stay traditional for family who were not happy that we did a JOP wedding while pregnant, but not go over the top and keep it small and fairly simple.  It's made things a bit harder with certain members of the family wanting me in a large gown I was looking at long ago, but in the end we felt better with my in a more simple lace dress that costs substantially less and isn't as grand and still allows for my shoulders to be covered.

Maggie0829

My signature is a joke...I got it from the many "brides" like yourself that throw etiquette out the window and then come back crying because we are "attacking" them or "bullying" them with our opinions and blunt statements.

southernbelle0915

KaycieBerchiolli said:

southernbelle0915 said:

What is your faith? I've never heard of this before so I'm curious. 

I think people might just be confused because everywhere else you've been posting you've been calling your event a wedding, not a vow renewal. I was definitely confused and thought you were planning a wedding.

I do generally use the term wedding to avoid any backlash like what ended up happening.  I am Jewish, doing a formal renewal is a newer thing in our faith, but doing renewals is not.  Not all sects are the same and even within sects things can vary just like with other faiths.  Since we did not have the time to incorporate any of our religious beliefs into our JOP wedding we wanted to incorporate it now. It's important in my family to honor traditions and since we are both the only biological children our parents and grandparents want to play their traditional roles.  We are not letting anyone else pay for anything since we are doing a renewal, but we are having a lunch with all of our cousins, aunt and uncles and maybe 10-15 close friends. This is why we were torn on how many attendants to have.  We traditionally only have a moh and best man and 4 people (generally men) that are close and special to us that take part. Since we aren't having children to keep it smaller and intimate we were trying to incorporate children into the ceremony to allow some.  In the end we talked shortly after I posted the question and our junior bridesmaid (his niece) is going to pull our daughter in the wagon and since we aren't having rings to carry we are cutting ring bearers. We hadn't asked our friends about anyone else yet so it won't upset anyone. And we are using our 4 attendants to represent the 4 people who would traditionally hold a wedding canopy.

We are trying to stay traditional for family who were not happy that we did a JOP wedding while pregnant, but not go over the top and keep it small and fairly simple.  It's made things a bit harder with certain members of the family wanting me in a large gown I was looking at long ago, but in the end we felt better with my in a more simple lace dress that costs substantially less and isn't as grand and still allows for my shoulders to be covered.

Is the prominent scholar and member of your faith that you reference Rabbi Yosef Rosen, by any chance? 

climbingsingle

You posted on a public forum asking for opinions. You got opinions. You weren't bullied. Grow up. 

KaycieBerchiolli

southernbelle0915 said:

KaycieBerchiolli said:

southernbelle0915 said:

What is your faith? I've never heard of this before so I'm curious. 

I think people might just be confused because everywhere else you've been posting you've been calling your event a wedding, not a vow renewal. I was definitely confused and thought you were planning a wedding.

I do generally use the term wedding to avoid any backlash like what ended up happening.  I am Jewish, doing a formal renewal is a newer thing in our faith, but doing renewals is not.  Not all sects are the same and even within sects things can vary just like with other faiths.  Since we did not have the time to incorporate any of our religious beliefs into our JOP wedding we wanted to incorporate it now. It's important in my family to honor traditions and since we are both the only biological children our parents and grandparents want to play their traditional roles.  We are not letting anyone else pay for anything since we are doing a renewal, but we are having a lunch with all of our cousins, aunt and uncles and maybe 10-15 close friends. This is why we were torn on how many attendants to have.  We traditionally only have a moh and best man and 4 people (generally men) that are close and special to us that take part. Since we aren't having children to keep it smaller and intimate we were trying to incorporate children into the ceremony to allow some.  In the end we talked shortly after I posted the question and our junior bridesmaid (his niece) is going to pull our daughter in the wagon and since we aren't having rings to carry we are cutting ring bearers. We hadn't asked our friends about anyone else yet so it won't upset anyone. And we are using our 4 attendants to represent the 4 people who would traditionally hold a wedding canopy.

We are trying to stay traditional for family who were not happy that we did a JOP wedding while pregnant, but not go over the top and keep it small and fairly simple.  It's made things a bit harder with certain members of the family wanting me in a large gown I was looking at long ago, but in the end we felt better with my in a more simple lace dress that costs substantially less and isn't as grand and still allows for my shoulders to be covered.

Is the prominent scholar and member of your faith that you reference Rabbi Yosef Rosen, by any chance? 

Yes, he is sited by current Rabbi's when discussing renewals. We are signing a ketubah made for renewals. The rest of the day is pretty relaxed: yard games and food, no first dance, dj, pre-"wedding" parties, or anything like that...just the traditions that are important to us. It should all take place and be done in a couple of hours.

southernbelle0915

KaycieBerchiolli said:

southernbelle0915 said:

KaycieBerchiolli said:

southernbelle0915 said:

What is your faith? I've never heard of this before so I'm curious. 

I think people might just be confused because everywhere else you've been posting you've been calling your event a wedding, not a vow renewal. I was definitely confused and thought you were planning a wedding.

I do generally use the term wedding to avoid any backlash like what ended up happening.  I am Jewish, doing a formal renewal is a newer thing in our faith, but doing renewals is not.  Not all sects are the same and even within sects things can vary just like with other faiths.  Since we did not have the time to incorporate any of our religious beliefs into our JOP wedding we wanted to incorporate it now. It's important in my family to honor traditions and since we are both the only biological children our parents and grandparents want to play their traditional roles.  We are not letting anyone else pay for anything since we are doing a renewal, but we are having a lunch with all of our cousins, aunt and uncles and maybe 10-15 close friends. This is why we were torn on how many attendants to have.  We traditionally only have a moh and best man and 4 people (generally men) that are close and special to us that take part. Since we aren't having children to keep it smaller and intimate we were trying to incorporate children into the ceremony to allow some.  In the end we talked shortly after I posted the question and our junior bridesmaid (his niece) is going to pull our daughter in the wagon and since we aren't having rings to carry we are cutting ring bearers. We hadn't asked our friends about anyone else yet so it won't upset anyone. And we are using our 4 attendants to represent the 4 people who would traditionally hold a wedding canopy.

We are trying to stay traditional for family who were not happy that we did a JOP wedding while pregnant, but not go over the top and keep it small and fairly simple.  It's made things a bit harder with certain members of the family wanting me in a large gown I was looking at long ago, but in the end we felt better with my in a more simple lace dress that costs substantially less and isn't as grand and still allows for my shoulders to be covered.

Is the prominent scholar and member of your faith that you reference Rabbi Yosef Rosen, by any chance? 

Yes, he is sited by current Rabbi's when discussing renewals. We are signing a ketubah made for renewals. The rest of the day is pretty relaxed: yard games and food, no first dance, dj, pre-"wedding" parties, or anything like that...just the traditions that are important to us. It should all take place and be done in a couple of hours.

My understanding of his teachings is that the union is constantly renewed with every moment of marriage throughout a married couple's life together - not that it's renewed with a particular ceremony. 

Even so, if you decide to do a vow renewal ceremony, it's very different than an actual wedding. Vow renewals are usually reserved for milestone anniversaries - like 10, 25, 50 years.  

It honestly sounds like you're having a "vow renewal" to try and back-fill a void you/your family feel from doing a JOP wedding. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a JOP ceremony! I think that's why people are telling you it's not a good idea. I tend to agree.

PrettyGirlLost

KaycieBerchiolli said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

KaycieBerchiolli said:

Thank you all for your feedback, that I'm kindly going to disregard. We delayed our wedding for our daughter and still want the day we were planning to have before her. While many of you do not agree with having herein our wedding, she is our daughter and it is our wedding and will be in it. I feel completely comfortable having her strapped into a wagon and pulled down the isle. We like the idea and its what we will do. In the event of any issues our junior bridesmaid will take her down the isle. Again, thank you all for your feedback. Instead of answer my question you questioned my judgement as a mother. We've decided on groomsmen and bridesmaid at this point, so I don't need any further feedback or judgements. Have a good day.

Are you having your PPD ceremony in a church?  You need to ask them what their policy is on wagons; most of the churches in my area forbid using wagons to pull children down the aisle due to liability issues. 

We are not having our renewal (it is not a pretty princess day, that term is just as demeaning as saying someone isn't married because they did a courthouse marriage) at a religious building.

The term Pretty Princess Day is derogatory and maybe demeaning because having a PPD demeans everyone who chose to have a JOP wedding because that is what they wanted, or chose to wait to get married and have their big frou-frou dress and party all in the same day.

Vow renewals do not include bridal parties, an elaborate second ceremony, a big white dress, etc.  And usually people reserve vow renewals for a milestone anniversary, like 25 years, 50 years.

ETA:  Ok, I understand that the religious aspects and Jewish marriage traditions are important to you and your family, but if they are that important to everyone, why did you get married at the JOP to begin with?  Why didn't you have the traditional Jewish wedding then, or why didn't you just wait to get married until now?

Was the JOP marriage a shot gun wedding?  Personally I don't judge couples who have kids out of wedlock, then marry at a later time, or never marry, but maybe this was a concern for you?

Unfortunately, what you are planning now is a PPD, and I agree with SouthernBelle when she says:

southernbelle0915 said:
It honestly sounds like you're having a "vow renewal" to try and back-fill a void you/your family feel from doing a JOP wedding. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a JOP ceremony! I think that's why people are telling you it's not a good idea. I tend to agree.

Now, you still need to ask what your venue's policy is on wagons.  Again, many place do not allow their use for liability reasons.

jneen101

People have a wedding party for a vow renewal?  I thought a vow renewal was just a renewing of the vows.

singinchick31

First of all, a wedding is a celebration. A courthouse marriage does not allow family and friends to rejoice in the happiness of the couple, and if they are able to do so now they are more than entitled to have the proper wedding they always wanted. Furthermore, if their child is under the age of 3 and in the wedding there is nothing wrong with that and frankly I would question anyone who didn't put their own young child in their wedding party. The cart thing I'm not sure, but I'm certain there is a device safe enough tomake this possible in the age we live in. There is no excuse for shaming anyone who puts the welfare of their child ahead of their own dreams, and even less of an excuse to discourage the pursuit of those dreams in the future.

Jen4948

singinchick31 said:

First of all, a wedding is a celebration. A courthouse marriage does not allow family and friends to rejoice in the happiness of the couple, and if they are able to do so now they are more than entitled to have the proper wedding they always wanted. Furthermore, if their child is under the age of 3 and in the wedding there is nothing wrong with that and frankly I would question anyone who didn't put their own young child in their wedding party. The cart thing I'm not sure, but I'm certain there is a device safe enough tomake this possible in the age we live in. There is no excuse for shaming anyone who puts the welfare of their child ahead of their own dreams, and even less of an excuse to discourage the pursuit of those dreams in the future.

No "shaming" is going on here, or even telling people not to pursue their dreams.  The questions here relate to safety and etiquette. 

It is not a given that all children under 3 (or for that matter over 3) can handle being a flower girl or ring bearer-not even the children of the couple.

The question is whether a child under 3 can actually handle going up and down the aisle, and the general opinion here is that if they can't get up and down on their own without being carried or in some kind of cart or wagon, then they should just be in photos.  That's still being included.  Not having them go up and down the aisle is not "shaming" - especially if they are having meltdowns or otherwise behaving improperly. 

Not only that, many venues do not allow carts or wagons to be used for the purpose of conveying small children down aisles, especially by children who are not much bigger.  If that's the case, then it's just not the answer, period.  Nor is there necessarily any such device to keep kids in the cart or wagon, even if the venue allows it.

You overuse the word "shaming" to label people who simply don't agree with you.  That's inappropriate in and of itself.  Disagreeing is not "shaming."

Maggie0829

LOL!  I love it @GlitterWitch22!!

lc07

singinchick31 said:

First of all, a wedding is a celebration. A courthouse marriage does not allow family and friends to rejoice in the happiness of the couple, and if they are able to do so now they are more than entitled to have the proper wedding they always wanted. Furthermore, if their child is under the age of 3 and in the wedding there is nothing wrong with that and frankly I would question anyone who didn't put their own young child in their wedding party. The cart thing I'm not sure, but I'm certain there is a device safe enough tomake this possible in the age we live in. There is no excuse for shaming anyone who puts the welfare of their child ahead of their own dreams, and even less of an excuse to discourage the pursuit of those dreams in the future.

I attended a courthouse wedding today that had 20+ guests present. So, I'm really not sure what you're talking about.

CMGragain

singinchick31 said:

First of all, a wedding is a celebration. A courthouse marriage does not allow family and friends to rejoice in the happiness of the couple, and if they are able to do so now they are more than entitled to have the proper wedding they always wanted. Furthermore, if their child is under the age of 3 and in the wedding there is nothing wrong with that and frankly I would question anyone who didn't put their own young child in their wedding party. The cart thing I'm not sure, but I'm certain there is a device safe enough tomake this possible in the age we live in. There is no excuse for shaming anyone who puts the welfare of their child ahead of their own dreams, and even less of an excuse to discourage the pursuit of those dreams in the future.

I am offended!   Most of my cousins, aunts, and my grandmother were married in a courthouse.  The families rejoiced with them.  They are happily married.  How dare you imply that this isn't good enough!  Their weddings were very "proper".  God is in the courthouse,too!
No one is entitled to a big, fancy wedding celebration with bridesmaids, wedding dress, and reception with dinner, open bar and dancing.  I didn't have this!  I have been married 37 years.  I would look pretty silly having a PPD now!
You are entitled to marry the person you love.  That is all.  You really hit a sore spot! 

CMGragain

OP, there is nothing wrong with you having a vow renewal.  What is wrong is trying to turn it into a wedding, which it is not!  Here is a good site for planning a vow renewal:  http://www.idotaketwo.com/vow_renewal_etiquette.html   If you follow the suggestions on this site, you should be fine.  Enjoy your renewal day.