Don't want to hurt feelings

jlazgrl

So I have 5 days until the wedding and so much to do. Some of our OOT guests are beginning to arrive and they all seem to want to have BBQs or dinners or just hang out. I'm trying to fit in as much as I can, but I feel so bad when I have to say no. If you were an OOT guest would you feel hurt that I turned down your invitation to get together before the wedding, or would you understand how stressful and busy everything is right now?

lizandmark2014

Just decline politely, as you have done. As a guest I know you are busy. Congrats on 5 days to go! :-)

mysticl

I would understand.  Depending on how close we were I would ask if I could help.

SP29

I wouldn't be offended at all- I would assume the B&G had little free time 5 days before the wedding.

Attend what you are able and WANT to attend (might be nice to go somewhere for a meal if it saves you having to cook, and you get to see friends), but don't run yourself down or feel obligated to do so. 

doeydo

Of course not.  A bride and groom a few days before their wedding might be very busy.

misssunshine17

What exactly do you have to get done? Maybe I'm odd, but everything had to be finished before 5 days out. I think since these people are coming from out of town for your wedding, you should give attending a good faith effort. 

jlazgrl

misssunshine17 said:

What exactly do you have to get done? Maybe I'm odd, but everything had to be finished before 5 days out. I think since these people are coming from out of town for your wedding, you should give attending a good faith effort. 

I still have to put the labels on all our water bottles (should only take about an hour though).I have to make the sashes for my BMs, junior BMs, and FGs dresses. A couple little fixes on 2 of the dresses (fixing a seam and sewing a clip back on). The bouquets and corsages are all done but I still have to finish all the boutonnieres. I have to hash out a few final details with the DJ. And I still have to find a basket (and possibly decorate it) for the confetti that will be thrown at the ceremony. I think that's it, hope I'm not forgetting anything, lol.

melbelleup

jlazgrl said:

misssunshine17 said:

What exactly do you have to get done? Maybe I'm odd, but everything had to be finished before 5 days out. I think since these people are coming from out of town for your wedding, you should give attending a good faith effort. 

I still have to put the labels on all our water bottles (should only take about an hour though).I have to make the sashes for my BMs, junior BMs, and FGs dresses. A couple little fixes on 2 of the dresses (fixing a seam and sewing a clip back on). The bouquets and corsages are all done but I still have to finish all the boutonnieres. I have to hash out a few final details with the DJ. And I still have to find a basket (and possibly decorate it) for the confetti that will be thrown at the ceremony. I think that's it, hope I'm not forgetting anything, lol.

Dang, that's a lot. I would definitely decline when offered. Just say you're making sure everything is perfect for the wedding They'll understand

ElcaB

I wouldn't be offended at all. I always imagine the week before a wedding is stressful for the B&G, so unless they arranged something themselves I'd leave them alone and spend time with other friends and family...or enjoy some time alone with FI

jlazgrl

jlazgrl said:

misssunshine17 said:

What exactly do you have to get done? Maybe I'm odd, but everything had to be finished before 5 days out. I think since these people are coming from out of town for your wedding, you should give attending a good faith effort. 

I still have to put the labels on all our water bottles (should only take about an hour though).I have to make the sashes for my BMs, junior BMs, and FGs dresses. A couple little fixes on 2 of the dresses (fixing a seam and sewing a clip back on). The bouquets and corsages are all done but I still have to finish all the boutonnieres. I have to hash out a few final details with the DJ. And I still have to find a basket (and possibly decorate it) for the confetti that will be thrown at the ceremony. I think that's it, hope I'm not forgetting anything, lol.

UPDATE:  Water bottles are done. Sashes for the BMs and junior BMs are done (still have to make the FGs and fix the 2 dresses). The DJ situation is handled. Bouts are almost done (just have to put the ribbons on). And I found an awesome white basket at the dollar store that I just have to hot glue some ribbon on as well. I feel like I got a lot accomplished yesterday. Hopefully I can get the rest done today (or at least put a good dent in it) before rehearsal tonight. Oh, that reminds me, I better wrap the gifts for the BM, GM, and parents (I'm giving them at rehearsal). 

AddieCake

Don't feel guilty. I regret going to lunch the day of the rehearsal dinner b/c it took WAY longer than we planned for, and we were really rushed all the rest of the day and didn't get to bed until after midnight as a result. 

PolarBearFitz

jlazgrl said:

jlazgrl said:

misssunshine17 said:

What exactly do you have to get done? Maybe I'm odd, but everything had to be finished before 5 days out. I think since these people are coming from out of town for your wedding, you should give attending a good faith effort. 

I still have to put the labels on all our water bottles (should only take about an hour though).I have to make the sashes for my BMs, junior BMs, and FGs dresses. A couple little fixes on 2 of the dresses (fixing a seam and sewing a clip back on). The bouquets and corsages are all done but I still have to finish all the boutonnieres. I have to hash out a few final details with the DJ. And I still have to find a basket (and possibly decorate it) for the confetti that will be thrown at the ceremony. I think that's it, hope I'm not forgetting anything, lol.

UPDATE:  Water bottles are done. Sashes for the BMs and junior BMs are done (still have to make the FGs and fix the 2 dresses). The DJ situation is handled. Bouts are almost done (just have to put the ribbons on). And I found an awesome white basket at the dollar store that I just have to hot glue some ribbon on as well. I feel like I got a lot accomplished yesterday. Hopefully I can get the rest done today (or at least put a good dent in it) before rehearsal tonight. Oh, that reminds me, I better wrap the gifts for the BM, GM, and parents (I'm giving them at rehearsal). 

Good luck! Sounds like you are almost ready!!! Don't worry about declining as they should understand. They will get to party with you soon enough.

MuppetOverlord

your guests will understand. I had every intention of seeing my OOT friends that week and it didn't happen and they assumed it wasn't going to.

My RD was a big party at my friends house that had my OOT folks there and I got to spend time with them all. We also went out for dinner after the wedding {(we had a brunch wedding) and spent some more time

Chipmunk415

I'm being reminded of the days preceeding Big Bro's wedding. The wedding was on a Sunday, my parents "dropped by" Brother and SIL's place on Thursday. All nice to say hello and drop off a gift, but Dad kept brother there while he was talking at him for over an hour!  SIL (thankfully for her), was at venue, working out final kinks and scheduling. Brother finally got Dad to leave, saying he had to pick up something for SIL and the shop would be closing soon, so he had to go. (Mom is mouthing "sorry" the entire time behind Dad)

The next day (Friday) FI and I arrive. Dad wants to play tour guide, takes us by Brother's home. Brother is not there, house is closed. I suggest that with RD the next day and lots of set up going on at venue, they are probably busy taking care of final details. Dad proceeds to look for Brother's spare key! Mom tries dissuading him, but he is determined to find it! (Note: Dad does not pay for brother's rent, has no reason to have a spare key). Cannot find the key.

 I send a quiet text to brother telling him where we are and to keep running errands. Also let him know where we are going for lunch (2 blocks down the street from home). Brother was getting in a destress treadmill session at the gym! Thanked me for message, so he could take the other route home and avoid being seen.

The kicker- brother expected Dad to pull a stunt like this, and REMOVED the spare key from the hiding spot! My SIL was in the house, taking a shower, and bro sent her a quick text telling her not to go near the front windows! There's only one bathroom in that apt, and how friggin uncomfortable would it have been for Dad to barge in and wait for brother only to observe his DIL walk out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel!

 

 

OP turn down the invites politely, and tell people you look forward to seeing them at the wedding.