Moms and Maids

Wedding Dress Shopping Horror Story

Fezzik42Fezzik42 member
Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
edited November 2013 in Moms and Maids
When the time came to go dress shopping, I decided what my budget was (did not assume my parents would be contributing at all).  I also decided I wanted to go to some local shops in lieu of David's Bridal.  So for my first time, I went to a shop around 40 minutes away with my Mom and my FMIL.  (I should stop and add here that my mom is not a "girly" person, she is not really into wedding planning at all.  She is also a very frugal person.  Nothing wrong with that. I figure/hope since I am her only daughter she would enjoy wedding dress shopping and would put her frugalness aside for one day....maybe.  I was wrong).

  When we arrive at the shop, I start pulling dresses that are within the budget I set for myself.  My mother made a beeline for the sale section (mind you these dresses are off the rack, you could not order other sizes).  She grabbed one from that sale rack that I hated but tried it on anyway to make her happy. It didn't even fit me, it was a size too small and she kept saying "what do you mean it doesn't fit??"  I have no idea the price of it, I don't think I looked because I hated it.

  The dress I ended up liking from that shop was around $500 under the budget I set for myself.  I wasn't head over heels for it, and I wanted to keep looking.  My mom started talking me out of the dress because this shop was so far away, and pressuring me to go to a shop about a mile away from my house.  Okay, fine.

The second appointment I made I took just three bridesmaids, and I found a dress I loved that was $200 over budget.  I loved it and wanted my mom to come see it.  The first thing she asked was "how much?" I made the mistake of telling her the price.  When I told her she didn't even want to see it, just said that was too much for one day, too much money for one dress,  you need to look at this other shop blah blah.  I was a little upset but fine, I will go to the shop she is pushing me to.  So we went just her and I.  I tried on a few dresses that were all at or just under budget and found THE ONE (with my mother again scanning the sale/as is rack.  I know sometimes you can find good deals but I did not like any of the dresses on that rack and I told her that after I browsed it).  This dress was $200 under budget.  My mother was underwhelmed.  Just not the reaction someone hopes to get from her mother when wedding dress shopping.
 
I went back with my FMIL, my fiance's grandma and his aunt (I am really close with his family.  My mom was out of town but knew I was going back to try on more dresses). They gave me the reaction I needed - they loved the dress and raved about how beautiful it is.  At this point, I am certain this is the dress.  When my mom asked me how the dress shopping went, I told her (via text) I was pretty set on the lace dress that was slightly under budget.  She THEN starts pushing me towards the first dress that she did not seem to like at the shop that she said was too far away!  This was the least expensive dress I tried on.  My dad called me and asked if I looked at goodwill and that the dress I wanted was too much money for one dress.  I told him they didn't need to worry about it since I was buying my own dress, but apparently just the thought of my spending this kind of money on a dress was not sitting right with them.  So frustrating.

I ended up going back and ordering the dress with two of my bridesmaids.  I am still not sure if my mom is aware I bought my dress.

......So it all worked out in the end, and I ordered the dress I wanted but holy cow.  I was really hoping for tears of joy from my mother upon seeing her daughter in her wedding dress...but no.

Does anyone else have any wedding dress shopping horror stories?

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NYCMercedes

Re: Wedding Dress Shopping Horror Story

  • I had the classic David's Bridal experience, a phenomenal time at one boutique where I found a dress I rather liked but was a sample sale and way too big, a lackluster time at another boutique where my girl wouldn't even help me put on the dress, and then the experience at the boutique I bought my dress at.

    Oh, that store.

    I went with my Maid of Honor and my mother. My consultant was East European or something similar, I'm sure, based on her accent and how coarse she was. When I told her that I was looking for dresses in the $500-$800 range, she got angry and spat out, "There are no dresses like that here! You will buy $1000 dollar dress at least!"

    The reason why I wanted to go to this store in the first place was because they had such an expansive sample sale selection online, so I told her I wanted to look at the sample sales. She acted like she had no idea what I was talking about and said, "You tell me what this $500 dress is and I find for you!" So I'm scrambling on my phone to load the store webpage to find the sample sale dresses and look for any dress I can find in my price range with straps/sleeves (I didn't want a strapless dress). I found three under $500 and showed them to her. She took me, my MOH, and my mom to the dressing room and went to the back to find the dresses. She came back empty handed and asked for the names of the dresses again. Goes back and returns with only one saying that was the only one in the back. So we put it on. I'm feeling awful at this point because she has been so rude. The dress was beautiful, but I wasn't too into it. However, my mother, who married in 1980, who bought her super-lacy dress-of-her-dreams for around $200 because that's how much it cost back then, who had a photographer which was 10% of the price my photographer will be (who is rather inexpensive, I might add!), looked me in the eye with that look I know so well; the one where if I don't do what she wants, I may as well die.

    So I said yes to the dress.

    I didn't like it as much as the dress I had tried on at another store, but it will do.

    And, honestly, the more I think about it, the more I like it. I realized that had the woman who sold me the dress not been so awful and rude I probably would have loved the dress more than the one I originally liked! 

    Plus, it fit perfectly so it needs very few alterations, was just over $500 with tax, and all for a flawless $2000 gown.

    In the end, worth it. :)
  • I went to two shops, a local franchise place and David's Bridal.
    I found my dress at David's. It fit almost perfectly, was almost exactly what I wanted and my family loved it. It was the first dress I tried on. I tried on 4-5 other ones as well. My consultant took the dress up to the front and rang us up and bagged the dress.

    That was in late August. Fast forward to Saturday. I went shopping for my dress accessories and when I got home I decided to go look at my dress again.

    I found out it was the wrong dress!! It was the very plain dress similar to my dress. I almost started crying. Called my parents who were very upset. (They paid for the dress.) Then I looked up the style number of my dress and called David's. I quickly drove over there to exchange this dress for mine.

    They had no idea how this happened. Everyone was so confused.

    Luckily they had MY DRESS in the correct size so I could exchange dresses. It was great to put it on again. And because of the price difference I was to get a slip for almost free.

    So I almost had my bridezilla moment. I'm happy for them too because my mother, sister and dad would have stormed them the next day very upset.

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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I was afraid you were going to say you missed out on your dream dress because you listened to your mom. Good for you, for getting the dress you wanted. From now on, don't discuss prices with your mother, unless she is paying for something.  I can imagine what venue shopping might be like with your parents. Congratulations and good luck.
                       
    princessleia22CLoGreenEyes
  • My mom cried when I picked my dress. Cried because she hated it so much. It was a wonderful experience.

    To be clear, my dress was a red bridesmaid dress. It was what I wanted, red and simple yet elegant. It suited me. It looked phenomenal on me actually. But it wasn't what she wanted, she wanted a white, beaded, lacey ballgown. And there's nothing wrong with not liking my choice, but she cried hoping to manipulate me into changing my mind. She later came around and understood why it was so perfect for me, but dear God the tantrums she threw before then.
    NYCMercedesCLoGreenEyesTeddiD34
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    I've been going through the same thing with my mom.  With every dress I like, she complains that it is too expensive and maybe I should see if I could find it used or if I can find a cheaper, similar dress... along with comments about how I do have a beautiful FREE dress option, brand new never worn, from my sisters "almost" wedding. That dress is gorgeous, but definitely not my style. I have actually been checking used dress sites & stores, and would love to find it cheaper, but can't seem to find that perfect dress used.  

    I was planning on paying for everything myself.  I set an ideal budget and a maximum price. The dress I like is over my original ideal price are well under my max. price. Originally I figured it was silly to spend a lot on the dress that I would only wear once, but as I started shopping, I started realizing that wearing "the dress" actually means more to me than I thought. So I'm fine with spending a bit more, as long as I stay under my max. budget... and we are also going pretty cheap on other areas of the wedding, so I feel its not unreasonable.  But, then my parents offered to put $500 towards my dress (this isn't changing/increasing my budget at all).  I suspect part of their problem is that they were hoping to surprise me and actually buy my dress, paid in full, with that... but the dresses I'm finding that I love are closer to $1000. So I think they may be bothered that they can't buy my dress for me.

    I set my budget, we are paying for it ourselves, we can afford it, we are paying cash for everything, and not going into debt over the wedding, so I don't see where there should be a problem.  FI and I are in our mid-late 30's and established in our careers. Yes, our wedding budget is probably higher than my parents would or could have done, but it's not anything extreme or abnormal (about $10k, including honeymoon).  I know they are worried and don't want me to overspend needlessly, so I just try to tell myself that it really is coming from a place of love, but take it all with a grain of salt.  And then I tell her that we've set a budget for the wedding that we can afford, the money is already put aside, and this is within my budget. And then I quickly switch topics to point out how little I'm spending & my huge savings I'm getting on my venue, my DIY flowers, etc.

    image 

  • I made the #1 mistake and tried on a dress out of my price range "just to see how it looks"... BAD IDEA! I loved it so much but had to put it back. Every boutique we went to I tried on that damn dress again... why? To torture myself?!?!

    The 2nd to last place we went to was "Vows" (from the TLC show "I Found my Gown") hoping I could snag a great deal. They had the dress - just 1 and another girl was already trying it on. So I tried on others as I waited but could see her a few people down from me in the same room. She never took it off... well she did when she purchased it :( so sad!!!! My mom and MIL saw me staring at the dress the whole time I was trying on these other beautiful gowns and after the appt they took me aside and said they would split the difference of the remaining amount above my budget! <3 Wow what amazing and thoughtful women I have in my life.

    But my budget wasn't set just based on what I could afford, is was also set on what I though was a reasonable amount to spend on a dress you wear once for 8 hours. I graciously declined their offer and told them I would find my dress.

    Last stop was DB! I did NOT want to go to DB at all. "Everyone I know gets their dress there" is how I felt. Well low and behold I found my dress! only $50 above my budget and had all the details that my dream dress had and more! My mom now refers to this 3 day 5 store dress hunting as "the journey".
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    Anniversary
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    I have appointment to try on the $1000 dress I want on Tuesday.  It's a 2012 style, so bridal shop contacted the designer to get sample sent in so I could try it on.  It has everything I want and I've kind of fallen in love with it, even though I haven't seen it in person yet.  But, I also have a dress that I really liked at David's Bridal.  It had "almost" all the elements I was searching for, so not perfect, but definitely gorgeous.  Again it's one of last years styles (I think I'm getting married a year too late), but that means they have it on the CLEARANCE RACK for under $400!  Only one left (hopefully nobody snags it before next week... although I'm sure other DB's may have it still). So, part of me is hoping that I love this dress on Tuesday as much as I think I will, but part of me is hoping its horrible so I can go with the cheap dress.  Even if the dress ends up being awesome, I'll have to decide it is worth that much more money for something I'll wear once, when there is a perfectly fine, much cheaper, option.

    image 

  • ArtemischiefArtemischief member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2013
    I went to David's Bridal on my birthday which was two weeks after I got engaged. My mom met me there. We live in different cities and the store was in yet another city halfway between us. My mom and I had been in a major fight the week before when she told me I was being too extravagant (it's not like I was going Kleinfeld's or anything). Anyway, she's late so my consultant and I start looking at the pictures I brought in and shopping around, eventually pulling two dresses. I start crying in the middle of all the dresses and my consultant rushes over and hugs me and asks me what's the matter. I tell her all the horrible things my mom and grandmother told me( I won't get in to all that here). Boy, was this woman what I needed. She consoled me and told me everything would be alright. My mom eventually gets there (no "happy bitthday honey, I'm so excited to be sharing this experience with you") and I try on one dress, which I didn't think would be "the one," it wasn't. Then comes the second dress. Before even seeing what I look like in it, I start to feel it's the right one. I come out of the dressing room and start to tear up when I see myself. I'm grinning like a fool and nodding like my head is falling off. My mom has a blank look on her face, "are you sure you want *that* one?" Well, that's the dress I bought-absolutely perfect, everything I wanted and nothing I didn't. I later went back to pick it up, my FMIL met me there that day to bring me my veil (my something borrowed), she cried. Two bridesmaids were there that day too--they cried. They were my support system. I'm happy with my pick, ecstatic even. Now to the other planning. Don't even get me started on the flowers......
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