Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion

Bridesmaid help!

JustynereneeJustynerenee member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
Me and my FI are in the process of picking our wedding party. He will have his 2 brothers and 2 close friends. I have my sister, my best friend, and 2 close friends i'm considering. One of his groomsmen is married to probably my FI's only real friend who is a girl and has known for years. They are extremely close. I know it would mean a lot for him to have her as one of my bridesmaids, she is really sweet and all we just haven't exactly had the time to get to know each other extremely well. I don't know if I should ask her to or not, partially because she is pregnant (and by our wedding the baby will be about a year old), will having both parents be in the wedding be a big deal for them is a big concern of mine. So i'm very torn on asking her! Any help would be so very much appriciated!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Bridesmaid help!

  • Liatris2010Liatris2010 mod
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Justynerenee said:
    Me and my FI are in the process of picking our wedding party. He will have his 2 brothers and 2 close friends. I have my sister, my best friend, and 2 close friends i'm considering. One of his groomsmen is married to probably my FI's only real friend who is a girl and has known for years. They are extremely close. I know it would mean a lot for him to have her as one of my bridesmaids, she is really sweet and all we just haven't exactly had the time to get to know each other extremely well. I don't know if I should ask her to or not, partially because she is pregnant (and by our wedding the baby will be about a year old), will having both parents be in the wedding be a big deal for them is a big concern of mine. So i'm very torn on asking her! Any help would be so very much appriciated!
    If she is your FI's friend, why doesn't he ask her to stand on his side? She can decide if being in the WP and having a baby are too much for her, you shouldn't let that factor into the decision to ask her.
    image
    Report Reply
  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Not asking her because she's pregnant and they will have a child is absolutely absurd. I mean, really?!

    Report Reply
  • doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If your FI wants her in the wedding party, he should ask her to be on his side as a groomslady/groomsmaid.  People have the freedom to say no to you when you ask them to be in the wedding party and/or to plan for someone to take care of their kids.
    image
    Report Reply
  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If your FI wants her to stand up in the wedding, she can stand up on his side. Sides don't need to be even or separated by sex. 

    Her being pregnant is a non-issue. 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
  • JustynereneeJustynerenee member
    First Comment
    itzMS said:
    Not asking her because she's pregnant and they will have a child is absolutely absurd. I mean, really?!
    Way to take it the wrong way. I was simply stating that she was, and I was wondering how much of a deal it would be to her not that is was the reason why I wouldn't ask her. If both of them were in the wedding party I didn't want to add excessive stress esp with the child being a newborn at the time. That's all I meant by it. 
    Report Reply
  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Justynerenee said:


    itzMS said:

    Not asking her because she's pregnant and they will have a child is absolutely absurd. I mean, really?!


    Way to take it the wrong way. I was simply stating that she was, and I was wondering how much of a deal it would be to her not that is was the reason why I wouldn't ask her. If both of them were in the wedding party I didn't want to add excessive stress esp with the child being a newborn at the time. That's all I meant by it. 

    _____

    There was just no need to bring it up as an excuse. I didn't take it the wrong way.

    If your FI is very close to the guy and girl, he should ask both to be in his wedding party. The girl shouldn't NOT be asked just because she's female and should stay on baby duty.

    It always hits a nerve when people imply that being pregnant and having a child automatically excludes the woman from things...what about the dad? He could watch the baby, too!

    Report Reply
  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Justynerenee said:
    itzMS said:
    Not asking her because she's pregnant and they will have a child is absolutely absurd. I mean, really?!
    Way to take it the wrong way. I was simply stating that she was, and I was wondering how much of a deal it would be to her not that is was the reason why I wouldn't ask her. If both of them were in the wedding party I didn't want to add excessive stress esp with the child being a newborn at the time. That's all I meant by it. 
    There are all kinds of maternity dresses if you're worried about attire. If your FI's friend feels that her pregnancy is too debilitating to handle standing up in a wedding, she'll definitely tell you she can't handle it. My guess: she can handle it.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
  • Rebl90Rebl90 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    If she's not one of your closest friends then you shouldn't be asking her, that's what it comes down to
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Agreed- FI should ask her to stand up on his side. 
    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Yes, your fiance should ask her since she is HIS friend. My husband's best friend is a woman, and, as you can see, she stood with him. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    FI should ask this girl to be on his side. And the baby will be almost a year old by the time your wedding rolls around. Maybe they won't even bring the baby to your wedding. Maybe they want a baby free night by the time the wedding rolls around. You are over thinking this.

    Also, don't ask anyone to be in your wedding party until closer to 9 months before the wedding.
    Report Reply
  • tamarar5tamarar5 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    If you are concerned with what they might do with the baby at the service, maybe offer to hire a baby sitter? Or tell them to bring their care provider and offer to foot the bill? That way your FI has both friends standing with him and they don't have to worry that baby is unattended.
    Report Reply
  • speedyblazer11speedyblazer11 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    His friend, his side. 

    Doesn't matter when the baby is born, maybe they won't bring it.  I wouldn't take a newborn to a wedding whether I was in the wedding or not. 

    No need to stress, you have time to figure this out. I wouldn't even be asking people this far out. I would wait until around 6 months out. (unless you are either having some crazy DW or you MUST have a bridesmaid dress that has to be special ordered way far out.  Good luck
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards