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Chit Chat

If you're going to ask for donations (NWR)

Got one of those really complicated friendships where it's impossible to really explain why you're still friends at all, except that you've already gone through so much BS together? Ok.
I have one of those friend people. She just lost a sibling. It's pretty tragic. She was desperate to get over to see his family for the funeral, and they are out of state.
She also happens to have a birthday this month.
Anyways, very long story short, she and her husband get on ye olde Internet and start begging for donations so she could afford to see her relatives. She collects enough that she will be able to go. (I had considered donating but opted not to when I saw that she was
covered.)
And then I saw her next post.
Looking for somebody to chip in for gas and hotels and trade off driving. Because a week or two after this funeral trip she asked everyone she knows to help pay for, she's still going to Vegas, yo! Birthdays must be celebrated in style, after all. Yes, it's a couple states away.
I am all kinds of pissed at this one. No, I probably won't tell her. Which I guess is another real world warning to the lurkers out there that people can be extremely offended but still not tell you directly that you are being insanely rude.

Re: If you're going to ask for donations (NWR)

  • Wow, I just have no words how rude that is!
  • I would not even know how to bring up this level of rudeness to my "friend."  Absolutely a warning to others considering rude stuff.... if you're really that rude, people will be so shocked they can't even talk about it to you.  Yikes.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • there is a girl on my FB friends (probably should actually get around to unfriending her) that keeps posting her "GoFundMe" for her hobby that costs 2K a season/year...its like get a fucking job and pay for it your fucking self!!! 
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  • Uhg, this makes me hate people. 
  • Wow. I have no words.
  • I would no longer be friends with this person. That is terrible!
  • I had a friend who kept soliciting donations for some kind of camp counselor training or something (5k) and then kept saying things like "love being a stay at home mommy!" "Had to ship the baby off to his daddy, I just can't deal with him" "Bought the baby his own Ipad and all these new things for his room!" I couldn't even....
  • Nope. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I didn't know the couple, but a FB friend posted their GoFund Me to raise money to come to their home state for the hloidays. Apparently, being married with kids and paying their own bills, meant they couldn't afford to pay for their own trip home.

    What really got me, is FH and I are planning and paying for our wedding, have household bills, car payments, other debts. We still have figured out a way to fund ourselves to pay for a trip to visit my parents for Christmas.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • The first part is in bad taste, but somewhat forgivable.  The death of a family member must be really hard and etiquette probably isn't the first thing on your mind.  Plus, it's an unexpected expense.  In poor taste, yes.  But unforgivable, probably not.

    The second part, OMG WTF?  I would be LIVID if I had given someone some money so that they could attend a funeral to see them posting about birthday shennanigans in Vegas immediately after.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • @NYCBruin thank you! I have been feeling so danged judgmental and bitchy about this and just had to get it out somewhere! Glad to hear maybe I'm not being too unreasonable, because I'm so mad I pretty much can't see straight when I think about it.
  • NYCBruin said:
    The first part is in bad taste, but somewhat forgivable.  The death of a family member must be really hard and etiquette probably isn't the first thing on your mind.  Plus, it's an unexpected expense.  In poor taste, yes.  But unforgivable, probably not.

    The second part, OMG WTF?  I would be LIVID if I had given someone some money so that they could attend a funeral to see them posting about birthday shennanigans in Vegas immediately after.
    I agree with this.  If a friend had done the first part, I would've thought it improper, but not offensive.  They're going through a hard time...not the worst faux pas ever.

    But the Vegas part just makes me think they're a douche for BOTH.  

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  • I agree with PP, the first offensive is fairly excusable as the situation was dificult, unexpected and important. The birthday trip to vegas is rude and terrible. I do have to say I'd be even more appalled if she could somehow finance that sort of trip herself after she got donations for her first trip.

    I have a friend that always jokingly asks people on FB to help her buy things. "Who wants to buy me a new car/vacuum/ purse?" It annoys me to no end NO ONE wants to buy you a new car. But clearly its just a joke.
  • Wow. I don't think I could ever ask for money online. When my grandmother died, I couldn't even bring myself to ask my dad to help me fund my trip home...

    I think it would be one thing to ask a friend or family member, person-to-person, in private, for help but just begging openly online like that? No way, no how. I would've asked her if she was prepared to go and stand out on the street with the other beggars.
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  • I don't honestly think I could hold my tongue after finding out that she was still going to vegas. I'd probably say something.
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