11/12/13 Etiquette Fail

thisismynickname2

Had to share!

I was just IMing with my friend at work who is planning to drive 8 hours (sort of remote area and no nearby airports) for a wedding this weekend. Here is our actual conversation, edited only for better grammar: 

Friend: That couple whose wedding I'm going to this weekend is actually getting married today, legally, so they can say they got married 11/12/13.

 me:  So riddle me this.

Are you going to the party that celebrates their marriage, or are they reciting their vows again this weekend?

 Friend:  Well today I think they are just going to the courthouse.

Saturday they are reciting their vows, the ceremony, reception, etc.

 me:  oooooooooo

HUGE Etiquette Fail

 Friend:  Yeah, I thought the same.

 me:  You're not witnessing them getting married.

Well have fun driving 8 hours to not watch someone get married.

That ship sails today my friend.

 Friend:  Exactly.

They didn't even tell anyone they were doing this, that I know of.

This is a guy, folks. Who went on to say that he doesn't care about the ceremony anyway and is going for the social atmosphere, but even he knew something wasn't kosher.  So he made arrangements to travel extensively to attend a wedding, and now he's not actually attending a wedding.   Come on, people. 

< end rant >

Maggie0829

I really don't get the appeal of getting married on a date such as 11/12/13 or back in '07 when everyone and their mothers wanted to get married on 7/7/07.  The date doesn't make the day special. The fact that you got married is what makes the day/date special.

climbingsingle

That is really stupid. I don't understand why having a speshul date is important. 

misssunshine17

Ditto Maggie. I don't get it. Did anyone see the weird weddings on the Today show? I only caught a glimpse, but at one point they had a groom in a lime green lie with a eye mask on that said 'groom' waiting in front of some tragically fake meadow background. Eeek. 

thisismynickname2

Hah ClimbingBride I saw your post over on the snarky board and figured you'd be here to comment  

msuprincess04

Next year there will also be a large number of people doing this. 12/13/14.  However, that, at least, is a Saturday.

climbingsingle

thisismynickname said:

Hah ClimbingBride I saw your post over on the snarky board and figured you'd be here to comment  

Too funny!! I didn't see this until after I posted. 

APDSS22

I've always assumed it was because they thought one or the other spouse wouldn't remember the date. 

jenniferurs

I was very specific about the date I wanted, but this seems a little silly to me. And definitely not cool of them to not inform their guests ahead of time. I personally wouldn't care, but others obviously would.

daveANDkristen

A friend of a friend did this last year on 10/11/12 - Thursday ceremony, in the middle of the day - they did at least provide some refreshments, but not enough seating for their 25ish guests, so my friends had to sit on the ground to eat lunch.  Then a larger reception on Saturday where they provided only Stag (shitty beer) as far as the bar goes.

Bubblegum5586

If it falls on a fun date then awesome! But to plan around some rando date just because it sounds nice seems so silly to me! Especially if they aren't having the reception until a few days later.... weird.

I think 9/21/13 sounds amazing... oh wait that's because that's the day I got married, so now it is a special date

thelastdreamer

Last year it was 11/11/11. Now this. Who CARES.

ElcaB

Lame. I don't understand why it's fun to say, "I got married when the date was in numerical order!" Also, getting married on a weekday when it's not necessary? Also lame.  

Inkdancer

ElcaB said:

Lame. I don't understand why it's fun to say, "I got married when the date was in numerical order!" Also, getting married on a weekday when it's not necessary? Also lame.  

If somebody wants to get married on a weekday or a day with a special number, I see nothing wrong with that. The issue here is that they didn't invite guests to the actual wedding, and are having a PPD after the fact. If they want to get married on a Tuesday, go for it! But lying to your guests is not cool.

wrigleyville

I don't understand how they're going to publicize how "cool" they are and keep it a secret at the same time. Every time people ask when their anniversary is, what are they going to say? There's no way to keep this cat in the bag.

offthemarket915

Every time I see a post about a PPD, I'm tempted to share what my future BIL/SIL did, so here it is.... Your heads may explode but try to remember this all happened years ago

SIL is from another country, so they go to JOP and get married.  Groom's immediate family is present and they celebrate afterwards.  I don't remember if it was at a restaurant or someone's house, as I didn't know FI then and am going by the stories he's told me.

Anyway, they then proceeded to have not one but two 'weddings', complete with vows, white dresses, etc etc in her home country and here in BIL's country, for his extended family.  One of them might have been pot luck if I recall correctly.   They sent homemade generic thank yous to everyone, which is still on FMIL's refrigerator, sparkly glue stick and all.

Knowing them now as I do, I can tell you that no one would have ever convinced them to do anything differently. FI's family are some of the nicest, most loving people I've ever met.  And they are also willfully ignornant of these things.  C'est la vie.

WedReMix13

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

I've always assumed it was because they thought one or the other spouse wouldn't remember the date. 

Today is my wedding anniversary and Hubby did not remember or forget because of the date  

banana468

Getting married on a trendy date won't mean that your spouse won't forget your anniversary either.   Just yesterday a mom on a different chat board commented that her DH forgot their anniversary and it was 11/11.   It happens.

NYCMercedes

thelastdreamer said:

Last year it was 11/11/11. Now this. Who CARES.

Time flies. That wasn't last year.

Teddy917

I wonder what people will do when it's 2015 for a speshul day. The last day that will work with the number counting is 12/13/14.

LDay2014

I'm guessing 1/5/15 would be the closest?

cowgirl8238

lauracichelly said:

I'm guessing 1/5/15 would be the closest?

or 5/15/15...or 5/10/15 (cause the fives times table, thats way) then there will be the 6/16/16 etc.

princessleia22

I originally wanted to have my wedding on the 5-year anniversary that FI and I started dating... especially since we both remember that date already. But, mostly we just thought that would be a neat idea. Unfortunately, it fell on a weekday and didn't work out with our plans.  So, we are getting married 5 days before our anniversary. We are leaving on a 7-day cruise immediate following the wedding and our dating anniversary happens to fall on formal night, so we do plan to get dressed up and celebrate it during our honeymoon.  But, although it would have been nice, I wasn't obsessed over having the wedding on that day.

KeptInStitches

lauracichelly said:

I'm guessing 1/5/15 would be the closest?

Is it weird if I would think 3/5/15?

WinstonsGirl

11/12/13 isn't even a special anniversary, cos next year it'll be 11/12/14 and the date will be all wrong!!!  

RedJacks25

We're getting married 12/13/14 because it is the perfect length of time from the onset of our engagement, it's a Saturday, it's in the winter like I've always wanted, and FI is obsessed with numbers.

I don't condone the fake wedding, but in most cases I don't think there's anything wrong with picking a date that you and your FI love.

CommitmentCat

What's the point anyway, all these 11/12/13 brides will have their first anniversary on a week day.

Think smart! I want some all day loving on my 1st anniversary, and that means the weekend.

Maggie0829

CommitmentCat said:

What's the point anyway, all these 11/12/13 brides will have their first anniversary on a week day.

Think smart! I want some all day loving on my 1st anniversary, and that means the weekend.

My first anniversary was on a week day even though H and I got married on a Saturday.  So even if you get married on a Saturday you are not guaranteed to have your first anniversary on a Sunday. If you want all day loving on your first anniversary then double check the calendar and plan your wedding accordingly or plan on taking a day off of work.

CommitmentCat

@maggie0829 leap year?

Am checking calendar immediately! I never know when that sneaky year is.

[Deleted User]

I get wanting to have a special date to make it easy to remember and that with it being a weekday, people wouldn't be able to attend. But why not just make it simple and get married on your special date and you can follow up later with a "celebration of our marriage" party/reception.

Inkdancer

Erikan73 said:

I get wanting to have a special date to make it easy to remember and that with it being a weekday, people wouldn't be able to attend. But why not just make it simple and get married on your special date and you can follow up later with a "celebration of our marriage" party/reception.

That runs the risk of becoming a PPD in a heartbeat.