Missing Wedding envelopes

seberarndt

Have a dilemma, we had our wedding and we had a blast!  Prior to leaving for our honeymoon, we went through the wedding gifts and envelopes and after further inspection, found some people that had not given anything, so inquiring a little bit farther, found out that indeed they did leave a envelope, but the reception hall had some staff take advantage of the unwritten rule about inquiring about gifts.  Long story short, we found at least 2, up to 10 missing gifts, 2 of the checks had been forged and cashed and some others, that were cash, we are unsure about and to make matters worse, how are you supposed to go and ask someone if they gave a gift or not since there is the 6 month rule.  

My question is, how do I ensure this does not happen to future weddings at this location, how do I get word out without giving out our information for past wedding at the venue and how about do we make sure this has a trail and lastly, how do I find out what others gifts may be missing that we are unsure about or to shy to ask our guests about?  

photokitty

First off, file a police report and see if they can find the person who forged the check and prosecute them.

Did you already contact the venue? What did they say?

Write reviews on your local board, yelp, wedding channel, wedding wire and anywhere else you can find. That's awful!

Lastly, you don't ask your guests. Spreadt the sad news by word of mouth and hope the givers of the stolen gifts speak up so you can thank them. I would not accept a new gift from them as it is the venue's fault and unfortunately partially yours. They should not give the gift twice as they did nothing wrong. 

Lurkers - It is very important not to leave your cards on the table for the entire reception. Lock them up or have some one keep them safe. Dads who don't dance are good at this...even in a purse under the table is safer than the exposed gift table. 

I'm sorry you had this happen, it sucks

seberarndt

We just received the 2 cancelled checks this morning.  We have my in laws who originally had gotten the venue through a member.  We also know its a hostess that works there with the name that matches the forge.

As for the Wedding Bird Cage, the wedding planner had planned to be at the wedding, she promised to have the cage moved to the office under lock and key before dinner, which was done, but of course, when people had forgotten to put the card in the bird cage, they asked the wait staff to do this, which they obliged to do.  Unfortunately, if it was that easy for the wait staff to get into the office to drop off these envelopes and the wedding planner had not been around as she had planned to be, no one could stop these people for taking these envelopes from the bird cage or from the ones that never made it into the bird cage.  

Since the venue is members only and has very wealthy members who probably do not want the bad press, we are hopeful the managers will want to bury this as soon as possible.  So what is the best way to get word out to other couples that this may of happened to and where should I post this?  This happened in Chicago, Illinois 

photokitty

Here is the Chicago board on here: http://forums.theknot.com/categories/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago

CTYankeeBride

If you have the facts to support all of this, and it seems that you do, I would approach the venue if you have not already done so.  I strongly suggest doing so in writing.  If, as you say, they would want to bury the bad press then they should be willing to compensate you for these lost gifts. Don't be surprised though if they point you back to a clause in your contract that states that they are not responsible for lost or damaged gifts.

Whether or not you are compensated by the venue, the sad fact is that this could have happened to anyone having an event there (and quite possibly already has) and other brides should know that so that if they are booked there or considering booking, they can be aware and look elsewhere or plan accordingly.  You might not have legal recourse against the venue (depends on what's in that handy contract), but you do have legal recourse against at least the hostess- she committed forgery and theft.  Posting reviews anywhere that comes up when you google "{venue name} reviews" should be adequate (unless you're thinking of going to the media- local news stations looooooove stuff like this, but only you can decide if you want that attention and it seems you do not). 

huskypuppy14

CTYankeeBride said:

If you have the facts to support all of this, and it seems that you do, I would approach the venue if you have not already done so.  I strongly suggest doing so in writing.  If, as you say, they would want to bury the bad press then they should be willing to compensate you for these lost gifts. Don't be surprised though if they point you back to a clause in your contract that states that they are not responsible for lost or damaged gifts.

Whether or not you are compensated by the venue, the sad fact is that this could have happened to anyone having an event there (and quite possibly already has) and other brides should know that so that if they are booked there or considering booking, they can be aware and look elsewhere or plan accordingly.  You might not have legal recourse against the venue (depends on what's in that handy contract), but you do have legal recourse against at least the hostess- she committed forgery and theft.  Posting reviews anywhere that comes up when you google "{venue name} reviews" should be adequate (unless you're thinking of going to the media- local news stations looooooove stuff like this, but only you can decide if you want that attention and it seems you do not). 

I'm not a lawyer, but I would bet this clause doesn't mean employees can steal stuff from their customers and get off scott free. It means if one of the guests steal something, or you lost it the venue isn't responsible, but i 'm sorry they are responsible if one of their own caused the loss.

OP- file a police report since you have proof.

CTYankeeBride

laurynm84 said:

CTYankeeBride said:

If you have the facts to support all of this, and it seems that you do, I would approach the venue if you have not already done so.  I strongly suggest doing so in writing.  If, as you say, they would want to bury the bad press then they should be willing to compensate you for these lost gifts. Don't be surprised though if they point you back to a clause in your contract that states that they are not responsible for lost or damaged gifts.

Whether or not you are compensated by the venue, the sad fact is that this could have happened to anyone having an event there (and quite possibly already has) and other brides should know that so that if they are booked there or considering booking, they can be aware and look elsewhere or plan accordingly.  You might not have legal recourse against the venue (depends on what's in that handy contract), but you do have legal recourse against at least the hostess- she committed forgery and theft.  Posting reviews anywhere that comes up when you google "{venue name} reviews" should be adequate (unless you're thinking of going to the media- local news stations looooooove stuff like this, but only you can decide if you want that attention and it seems you do not). 

I'm not a lawyer, but I would bet this clause doesn't mean employees can steal stuff from their customers and get off scott free. It means if one of the guests steal something, or you lost it the venue isn't responsible, but i 'm sorry they are responsible if one of their own caused the loss.

OP- file a police report since you have proof.

The clause definitely doesn't mean the employees can steal, but it does mean the venue itself isn't responsible for replacing the gifts- the person who stole them would be responsible for that.

Agreed, OP needs to go to the police- the venue may or may not replace the gifts but that doesn't change the fact that these employees might remain employed and steal from other people.

FutureMrsN3312

I actually met with a florist who had gifts (cash and checks) stolen at her wedding a few years ago.  She filed a police report and wrote up terrible reviews where ever she could.  The venue was PISSED!  They called and asked for her and her husband to come by for a meeting.  When they showed up the police were there. 

They managed to work out a deal.  The couple would get the missing money back (about 25k) from the venue if she went and deleted her reviews.  But she had to call each of her guests and ask if they gave a gift and how much.  (talk about awkward and rude)  Turns out the venue caught one of their servers on camera going near the gift table several times thru out the night. 

For the police to charge the thief properly they needed a dollar amount of what was missing.

cowgirl8238

1. I would very firstly contact the police and file a report if you are certain the money/gifts were stolen.

2. I would approach mom, dad and any other gossipers about the story and try to spread the stroy via word of mouth to all the guests...if you did thank-you cards anyone who gave a gift/check and didn't receive a thank you will be tipped off by this and will certainly let you know.

3. I would contact the venue and tell them what you told us, the forged checks and everything and take it from there with them.

4. I would write an honest review (including the proof) on any site that people frequesnt while searching for thier wedding venue.

Although it is rude to ask people what they gave I think in this case it may be appropiate and necessary in determining exactly what went missing and how much of it did.  I am so soryr you are dealing with this but I think if you preface the conversations with "We have proof someone was stealing gifts and we are in the process of filing a police report" most of your guests will understand.  As Photokitty said make sure you tell them not to replace it if it was indeed stolen.

This is why (and this goes double for lurkers) I think you should keep a log of every gift that was given, how much is was, and by who after your wedding.  It not only helps you to write out your thank you's (which you should be doing!) but it also helps in case you get into a situation like this.  Of course I don't mean to do this as a way of keeping score or anything, but just in case you need to know that information like the OP may have to.

Again, I am sorry that this happened to you and I really feel terrible.  I think I am outraged on your behalf!  Good luck with everything and let us know what happens!

seberarndt

Thanks all for the replies!  The venue mentioned to us that the employee who committed this was a new employee and this was her first wedding.  Secondly, the hostess admitted to signing and cashing the checks, but only to the 2 we have copies for.  As bad as I feel for the venue, when I told the wedding planner of the situation before leaving for our honeymoon, she had all the confidence in the world of all of her employees and made us feel as if it was out fault that envelopes were misplaced.  

Its unfortunate of how this all went down and we will be happy to put this behind us once we get the affidavit notarized, head to the police station to file a report and press charges.  All this goes in line with the unwritten rules of wedding gifts, unfortunate that this happened and we are happy they are taking the following approach moving forward...

Hello

We spoke to our employee today and she admitted it was her signatures.  She said she signed only two cheeks.

 

I believe you said a police report was being completed.   We will send the amount along for the stolen checks.  

 

I and the club are very sorry this incident has occurred; we have had many weddings in the past with absolutely no incidents of theft, and our employees actually returning many lost items including cash.  As I mentioned the guilty employee was new, and I was actually very surprised she would commit the theft.

 

If we can help in any way, please do not hesitate to contact me.  If you could please send a copy of the police report I would appreciate it. 

 

photokitty

I assume they fired her?

Viczaesar

seberarndt said:

Thanks all for the replies!  The venue mentioned to us that the employee who committed this was a new employee and this was her first wedding.  Secondly, the hostess admitted to signing and cashing the checks, but only to the 2 we have copies for.  As bad as I feel for the venue, when I told the wedding planner of the situation before leaving for our honeymoon, she had all the confidence in the world of all of her employees and made us feel as if it was out fault that envelopes were misplaced.  

Its unfortunate of how this all went down and we will be happy to put this behind us once we get the affidavit notarized, head to the police station to file a report and press charges.  All this goes in line with the unwritten rules of wedding gifts, unfortunate that this happened and we are happy they are taking the following approach moving forward...

Hello

We spoke to our employee today and she admitted it was her signatures.  She said she signed only two cheeks.

 

I believe you said a police report was being completed.   We will send the amount along for the stolen checks.  

 

I and the club are very sorry this incident has occurred; we have had many weddings in the past with absolutely no incidents of theft, and our employees actually returning many lost items including cash.  As I mentioned the guilty employee was new, and I was actually very surprised she would commit the theft.

 

If we can help in any way, please do not hesitate to contact me.  If you could please send a copy of the police report I would appreciate it. 

 

What does that mean?

aurorajanette

They allude nowhere in that letter that they have fired the employee. I find the statement "I was actually very surprised she would commit the theft" to be ridiculous. Obviously she was surprised! No one (hopefully) hires someone and thinks to themselves, 'I would totally peg her for a thief.' If you thought she was a thief, you wouldn't be hiring her in the first place.

RebeccaB88

I wouldn't wait for the venue to do anything. If you have the name of who did it, then you press charges against her yourself. What the venue does about her is secondary. The theft was from you personally, so you have the right to prosecute.