Moms and Maids

How?!

I'm wanting all my bridesmaids to wear the same dress (I have 3), how on earth did you other brides/brides to be manage to meet up with them all to discuss and go try dresses on?
I would like us to all go together so I can see what they look like obviously.

Re: How?!

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You don't all have to go together. Talk to each of them individually to get there budget. The lowest price point is where you need to stay. Then see who will be available to meet and try things on. Narrow your choices down to three. Then get a vote from your girls and majority wins. It is fine if they all can't go together just make sure you give them enough time to go try on the three choices themselves before any decision is made.

    melbelleupmellyD2014
  • Haha well they aren't paying for their dresses, so it's my budget really. We've seen a few dresses and the ones they love are double my budget, I've just shown them another (below my budget) and I don't think they are too keen. But I guess at the end of the day it's ultimately my decision on what they wear, but I don't wanna be one of them brides that tells them they have to wear something they hate
    melbelleup
  • If they're loving dresses that are above your budget, could you speak with each of them individually and see if they are willing to pay the difference? If you're not comfortable with that then gently remind them of your budget and the importance of sticking to that. Definitely talk to them about styles they like to get a general idea of what they feel good in but if you're the one paying for it then I wouldn't feel too badly about it.
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Haha well they aren't paying for their dresses, so it's my budget really. We've seen a few dresses and the ones they love are double my budget, I've just shown them another (below my budget) and I don't think they are too keen. But I guess at the end of the day it's ultimately my decision on what they wear, but I don't wanna be one of them brides that tells them they have to wear something they hate
    I could never imagine making my girls wear a dress that they disliked for the sake of me, even if I was paying.  Take the girls that can make it shopping and try things on.  I often find things can look better when they are tried on vs. just looking at it on a rack (or photo).  Pick out a few winners and have the girl(s) that couldn't make it go and get their opinion.
  • I stood in the bridal salon, told my ladies "this is the budget, this is the color, let me know when you all agree on something and we will talk about it".  If they don't get along with each other, then you will have issues of control and spite.  In my case, my grandmother thought the sun rose and set on my sister and that she should have a "better" gown than the other girls.  Guess what?  She wore the same dress as the others and I was happy, on so many levels.
  • I went three different times with three different bridesmaids to the salon and then just sent pictures to the other girls. They don't all have to be there together (Say Yes to the Dress lies to you).

    Honestly, I went with a designer that was in range for their budgets, picked a color and fabric, and said, "Have at it!" It was the best decision I could have made. 

    I knew they wouldn't agree on one dress - totally different body types, over 10 years in age range, etc. Now they all have a dress they like but they all still look uniform and in styles I like. It's a win win.
    image
  • This may sound odd, but are all of your girls of the same body type? For me, all of my girls had the same attributes so I felt relatively safe in assuming a dress that flattered one girl would flatter all. 

    I only took my maid of honor dress shopping the first time we went. I informed all my girls that I was happy to pay $100 for their dresses because I am grateful for them agreeing to be in my wedding. If they picked a dress higher than $100 I asked that they make up the difference. All of my girls said that I shouldn't pay anything and that they would pay whatever the dress cost if they all liked it. We are actually squabbling over whether they are really going to let me pay the $100, I am flattered that they don't want to see me spending more money than I need to. 

    Anyways, MOH picked out a beautiful dress that flattered her and she looked amazing in. Then throughout the next month and a half I returned to the dress shop with the other 3 bridesmaids and had each of them try on the same dress. Lucky for me the dress beautifully fit all of them (as I had kind of assumed it would) and they all loved the dress! 
  • I just told my girls a date and time, if they could/wanted to come, they came. I had 3 out of 4, but the one that didn't come (due to work) has the same body shape as my SIL so it was all good :)
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • scribe95 said:
    I didn't have all my girls try it on. I had one of them shop with me - they are in multiple states. We picked the top three and sent pictures of her in it to everyone. They all chose the same one and ordered it locally.
    Same boat. This is exactly what I did with my girls =) I wanted them in the same dress but something they all looked good in, which they do! Yay. I just reminded them that long would be better since wedding is in Feb, in the Albany, NY area. They picked the dress and agreed on it. Very easy. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I never went shopping for BM dresses with my BMs. We were all scattered about the country. They were all different body types, so I chose a designer, a color, a fabric and a length and told them to get whatever they wanted. They could order online, so that wasn't an issue. They ended up with 4 or 5 styles to pick from. 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • Haha well they aren't paying for their dresses, so it's my budget really. We've seen a few dresses and the ones they love are double my budget, I've just shown them another (below my budget) and I don't think they are too keen. But I guess at the end of the day it's ultimately my decision on what they wear, but I don't wanna be one of them brides that tells them they have to wear something they hate
    You won't be able to please everyone :) But if your BMS have different body shapes, what I would suggest doing is going with your MOH or your closest bridesmaid (or bridesmaids), and picking out 2-3 dresses that you like, and then having your bridesmaids pick from them. Hopefully everyone will be able to get something they at least sort-of like!
  • My 5 BMs are in 5 different states and I'm in DC. I let my girls vote on Navy Blue vs. Pink. They picked Navy. Then I had them all email me a general idea of dresses they liked and their price points. I then picked out three dresses that sort of fit the bill from what my BMs sent me. I ordered them from stores that let me return. Tried the dresses on and took pictures then let my BMs pick. Two of my BMs are the exact same size as me, and we are in the middle of the size range, so this worked. Three fell in love with one dress (including the hardest to fit girl), and the other two didn't have any problem with it (although wanted a little sexier), so we went with it. It was above the price point for my FSIL (who is the same size as me) so I just gave her the one I ordered to try and sent back the others.

  • I have 5 BMs and they are spread out and all different body shapes.  It was easiest for me to go to David's since they are literally coast to coast.  I picked out the fabric, color, and length that I wanted and that left them with 4 styles to choose from.  They are all able to go to the store at their leisure to pick out the style that they like best.  I would hate to try to fit my sister (with a completely flat chest) and one of my friends (with a very large chest) in the same style of dress and have both of them be uncomfortable when they can choose something that they feel confident in and still look great standing next to each other.
  • Didn't have all my girls try them on together either (all live in different states). The one BM that lives with my in NY, we went to the store together and she tried on different dresses. I picked 3-4 that I liked, saved them to my information and then told the other girls to go into DB whenever they could and try on dresses.

    They provided pics of the dresses they did like and luckily all 3 girls liked the same dress. All look nice in them too so that's the one we went with.

    Budget is the first thing you need to talk about before doing anything, then go from there.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I have 7 bridesmaids and they are all wearing the same dress.  I tried my BEST to get them all together, but it just wasn't happening.  In the end only 2 made it to the shopping trip and the rest of them called in their sizes.

    Before I went I made sure I knew all of their dress pet peeves (maybe they hate knee length, asymetrical, a certain material, whatever) as well as their budget, which I stuck under.

    Just do the best best you can and at the end of the day no one should fault you.
    image
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