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Invites and Paper

Send wedding invite to those who said No after "Save the Date" was sent for destination wedding?

We are getting married in Jamaica and sent out save the date cards out 7 months in advance. Some people have let me know that they will not be able to attend the wedding in Jamaica. Should I still send these people a formal wedding invitation? We are planning to send the invitations out about 4 months in advance, but most of the people who are attending will have already began booking their trips by then. I just wasn't sure what the etiquette was for those who cannot come and if it is worse to send them an invite even though I know their answer is no or if leaving them off is worse.

 

Re: Send wedding invite to those who said No after "Save the Date" was sent for destination wedding?

  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Send them an invite. Everyone who gets an STD gets an invite, even if you they said no. Their plans may have changed and no invite would be rude. I'm sure they will appreciate the gesture even if they can't attend. GL! :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    doeydo
  • That's tough! I'm wondering the same thing (though ours isn't a destination wedding, it's for out of town guests who are students can't travel for financial reasons). My fiancé and I are leaning towards sending them because we're also having a wedding website which is listed on the invite. We're thinking it's a way for them to be involved without attending the wedding because we have a blog and will be sharing some of our wedding pictures
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Send everyone who received a STD an invite no matter what their response was to the STD.  It is just courteous and like others have said, their plans may have changed and they can attend now.

    And yeah, hold off on the invites until you are two months out.  It sounds like your guests already have the booking information so there is no reason to send the invites that early.

  • Personally if I told a couple that I could not make their wedding after receiving a save the date and then they send me an invitation,  I would be perturbed.  I say dont send them and invite.
  • Personally if I told a couple that I could not make their wedding after receiving a save the date and then they send me an invitation,  I would be perturbed.  I say dont send them and invite.

    I would be too. I think if we run into this, I'll probably add a handwritten note just so they know we are thinking of them but not pressuring them if they cannot come.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You still need to send an invitation. Sometimes people's plans change. I don't understand being perturbed if you received an invitation. Wouldn't your common sense tell you they probably sent it just in case? You ARE, after all, still invited and still welcome, whether or not you can make it. 




    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Maggie0829[Deleted User]melbelleup
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    AddieL73 said:
    You still need to send an invitation. Sometimes people's plans change. I don't understand being perturbed if you received an invitation. Wouldn't your common sense tell you they probably sent it just in case? You ARE, after all, still invited and still welcome, whether or not you can make it. 

    ^^This times 100. And like Schatzi13 said, I would still expect to receive the invite. How can anyone be perturbed by the kind gesture of inclusion? :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    [Deleted User]
  • I have heard it's actually rude to send an invitation to people you know will not be attending. I totally understand that you want people to feel included. I personally would till send them an invitation, but I am not sure how polite it actually is.

  • I wish guests wouldn't reply to STDs. It just makes things more complicated. My mom keeps hearing from people saying that they don't think they can make it after our STD went, and wants to add new people in their place. Ugh.

    Send the invite anyway. If you don't want to make them feel pressured or bad, I like the idea of adding a little note saying "I know you didn't think you could make it, but if your plans have changed, we'd love to have you!"
    [Deleted User]melbelleup
  • It sounds gift grabby to me if you go ahead and send an invitation after they have said they cannot make it.  And I KNOW how you ladies hate anything that seems gift grabby. 
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2013
    OMG an invitation is not a jury summons. If you can't make it, you can't make it. Why is it gift grabby? No one is required to give a gift, especially if you don't go to the wedding. 

    ETA: Personally, I would be perturbed that someone was perturbed that I sent them an invitation. 
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    [Deleted User]kgd7357melbelleupark155
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