Is it rude to have a bridal shower if you are having a destination wedding?

Vintagecircus

I am getting married in Vegas.  I'm inviting everyone that I would if I had it at home.   Is it rude to have a shower and/or register for gifts?   Although, I do not expect someone to  travel to my wedding and then give me a gift.   I just want to have proper etiquette.

pbi9994

This is a tough one. I think I asked a similar question a few months ago, and the responses I got were varied. I think it really depends on your circle. Only you and your family know what to expect, so maybe you can wait for someone to offer to throw you a shower, but if your family is like mine, they will just assume one way or the other.

I can tell you what I'm doing, and hope that it helps. My family assumed and decided for me. My sister is throwing me a shower in the spring (and my wedding is in Italy, so guests are spending a lot if they choose to come) and she's inviting close family and friends, but not anyone who would have to come in from out of town. 

As far as registering goes, I have. And I've put a lot of low-ticket items on the registry. But I'm also not publishing my registry anywhere. That one will have to go out through word of mouth, simply because I expect every guest to go to the website for travel details and the like, and I don't want the first thing they see there to be a giant REGISTRY button.

I hope that's a little helpful.

Vintagecircus

That helps a lot   I'm in my mid 30's and never been married.  I'm excited about the registering process and there are about 100 people not attending my wedding.   However, I dare to  be rude.  I do not want that.  So that helps a lot   Thanks!

amorg334

We had a shower.  We invited everyone we would have invited to the wedding.  It was really fun and I didn't expect gifts.  But I did put stuff on our registry. 

soontobeamrs2012

Great question!  I've been wondering this myself!!

Ausome13

I haven't a clue about etiquette on this one (and luckily neither will the people I'm inviting)!! My FI and I decided to invite everyone to events and the wedding realizing a lot of them won't be coming to the wedding or events associated but I don't want to exclude anyone. 

Vintagecircus

I think that is exactly what I am going to do to   hahha

princessleia22

Ausome13 said:

I haven't a clue about etiquette on this one (and luckily neither will the people I'm inviting)!! My FI and I decided to invite everyone to events and the wedding realizing a lot of them won't be coming to the wedding or events associated but I don't want to exclude anyone. 

We wanted max. of 50 people at our destination wedding. We invited about 75 people, knowing ahead of time that at least 25 of those absolutely would not be able to come (we - or our parents - had talked to most of them ahead of time), but still invited them to be polite. We were told to definitely do a registry, because people that don't attend wedding may still want to give you a gift. And some people may want to give gift, even if they do travel to attend.  And if you are having a shower (I don't plan to have one), you should certainly have a registry for that.  

I wasn't going to do a registry, because there really isn't anything we need and would almost rather not receive gifts, especially since most of our invited guests are either travelling to the wedding (most travelling over 1,000 miles) or don't have a lot of money. Most of them can probably use the money more than we could use the gift. But we were told that many people want to buy gifts because they see it as their way to bless or help out with your marriage.  And if they are going to buy you gifts anyway, its better to provide some suggestions so it makes their job easier and you are more likely to get something you like or could use.  For our registry, we kept it mostly to lower cost items... most of which are for upgrades of items we use regularly.

missmo14

Im a Vegas bride too! My FI and I decided to just have a big party before our wedding instead of any showers. Whilst I dont think its rude to have a shower at all, we just preferred the party. I agree with PP that you should register but spread the info by word of mouth. Just because you are having a destination wedding doesn't mean you should miss out on your shower or registering.

Julyet06

We registered since lots of people kept asking for the registry information.  My MOH threw me a shower as well.

In my opinion, someone always has an opinion or a rebuttal.  We just did what we wanted while being mindful of proper etiquette, but not allowing it to dictate what we did.

saric83

Etiquette-wise, you're totally fine to have a shower (if someone offers to host one for you) and register, but you cannot invite anyone who is not invited to the wedding.