Themes/wedding style: combining the incompatible

sarahtrg

I'm getting a lot of feedback that my "style" or theme" ideas are incompatible. I love Old Hollywood glamour and a bit of glitter. My fiancee is much simpler and more rustic/country. We've tentatively settled on a copper, gold and blush color palette.

Is there a way I can combine the two styles without making it seem like two different weddings or will we be forced to pick something else entirely?

Jen4948

To be honest, these are themes that just don't work together.

You can use the color palette without a "theme."  Weddings really don't need themes-they have a built-in theme called "marriage."

manateehugger

These "themes" don't fit, sorry. Can you just work with the colors? Weddings don't need themes. Shoot for lovely, not themey. What's your general aesthetic? When you walk into a room that you think is beautiful, what does it look like?

ETA: Also, while I think it's very important to keep FI's in the loop and make sure they like what their wedding looks like...how attached to "rustic" is your FI? I can't imagine he really cares about the rustic wedding boards on Pinterest.

HisGirlFriday13

Your colour palette is gorgeous!! I love it.

That being said, no, those two "themes" don't at all work together, so one of you is going to have to give on this one. 

See if your FI can break down what he likes about "rustic" -- is he talking a barn and burlap and lace (a la Pinterest)? Or just shabby-chic?

mysticl

sarahtrg said:

I'm getting a lot of feedback that my "style" or theme" ideas are incompatible. I love Old Hollywood glamour and a bit of glitter. My fiancee is much simpler and more rustic/country. We've tentatively settled on a copper, gold and blush color palette.

Is there a way I can combine the two styles without making it seem like two different weddings or will we be forced to pick something else entirely?

Are you saying your FI wants a "rustic" theme and has picked out decorations and attire for that theme?  Or is he a jeans and flannel shirt kinda guy who actually doesn't give a crap about things like themes?  If he is the latter then go with your color palette and consider a "simple yet elegant" feel.  That should give you a taste of glamour without being too fussy for him.

southernbelle0915

These are two totally different themes that don't mesh. Are you having an RD? Could you split up the themes? Could you do rustic for the groom's cake? Could you do Gatsby and just not go over the top?

climbingwife

PDKH said:

These "themes" don't fit, sorry. Can you just work with the colors? Weddings don't need themes. Shoot for lovely, not themey. What's your general aesthetic? When you walk into a room that you think is beautiful, what does it look like?

ETA: Also, while I think it's very important to keep FI's in the loop and make sure they like what their wedding looks like...how attached to "rustic" is your FI? I can't imagine he really cares about the rustic wedding boards on Pinterest.

Ditto this. 

sarahtrg

He's actually been really involved which makes it harder. He likes barns, burlap and mason jars (which I'm not opposed to per se) but I like glitz and chandeliers. I love shabby chic; I just wasn't sure I wanted to embrace it for my wedding. I'm just trying to find a way to give us both decorative elements that we like.  

SBmini

You have to compromise and find some middle ground that you both can agree on. The two styles are way too different. I suggest just going for something soft and romantic and saying to hell with themes (seriously, it's a wedding, not a child's birthday party. You don't need a theme) 

Your colors are very romantic, I would just focus on that. If you want to bring a mason jar in here, or some glitter there it will all feel more balanced if the over all feeling you are going for is just a nice, beautiful wedding. 

southernbelle0915

sarahtrg said:

He's actually been really involved which makes it harder. He likes barns, burlap and mason jars (which I'm not opposed to per se) but I like glitz and chandeliers. I love shabby chic; I just wasn't sure I wanted to embrace it for my wedding. I'm just trying to find a way to give us both decorative elements that we like.  

Could you ditch both themes and just go off your color palette?  Pick a "vibe" instead (e.g. modern, funky, traditional, elegant, retro, etc.). 

kitty8403

Your style differences sound a lot like ours. I think you're trying too hard.
Instead of worrying about whether something is "old Hollywood" or "rustic" enough, look at what seems to be complementary about your tastes, and play with contrast. There is no reason you can't have a grand party on a ranch that is NOT shabby chic.
Believe me, I know this one's rough, but I think ditching themes for an overall style or "vibe," like @southernbelle says, is your best bet.

annathy03

Is your cocktail hour space different than the reception space?  I went to a wedding where they decked out the cocktail hour space in the groom's taste (Star Wars) and then did a different "theme" in the dinner/ballroom space and that worked well.

AddieCake

Yeah, glitz and chandeliers do not mesh with burlap and mason jars. Pick one or the other or neither. 

jenn77b

Instead of coming up with a style/theme based on pictures, etc, what exactly have you come up with as far as a venue you both agree on? I would be looking at venues and figure out from there what feel you want to evoke that would fit within that venue. Do you have a venue picked?

[Deleted User]

For decorations go with your colors, the rustic theme mixed with some bling/glitter. You can always add the touch of old Hollywood with your hairstyle, dress & accessories.

leelabear

What about a blues feeling. Think New Orleans when Jazz first started to get big. Watch the Princess and the Frog at the end with the restaurant. When you say old hollywood and country rustic, I think of the South's version of hollywood.