creative way to ask for money

tabathafaye

It's like they don't even read the other threads before they post!!!!!!!!!!!

Maggie0829

No.

zitiqueen

I think you should go with your original thought and put jars on each of the tables and at the bar that say " I'm paying for your food and alcohol all night so put some money in the jar."

Jen4948

amboyna1220 said:

We have decided to donate our wedding to a charity. However, our wedding is at a winery so it is a private event and we are required to purchase all the wine ahead of time and we cannot  charge people for the wine, so I thought of putting out tip jars instead. I need a creative way to say " Im paying for your food and alcohol all night so put some money in the jar". Thoughts.....

This makes no sense. 

Your wedding is not a fundraiser.

Lose the tip jars.  There is no "creative" or "cute" way to solicit contributions to charity, or any other payment, from your guests.  It's not their job to pay your bills or contribute to charity on your behalf.  Donate to charity without involving your guests.

RebeccaB88

The only time I've heard of donating a wedding to charity is when the wedding is called off and the hosts invite residents from a homeless shelter, women's shelter, etc, to enjoy the already paid for wedding dinner. So I'm operating under the assumption that the wedding has been called off.

In that case, I'm fairly certain that the people who run the shelter or charitable agency won't allow alcohol to be served to their residents, so you could easily get away with not having a bar and just serving water, tea, coffee, and soft drinks.

If it's anything other than this scenario....just no. No no no no no.  God, no.

 

ei34

Not saying anything new, but it's not okay to ask your guests for money, no matter how "creative".

 

If donating to charity means that much, why not donate any gifts you receive at your wedding to the charity?

cowgirl8238

I am too confused to form a good response...until I receive clarification from the OP all I can say is Tip Jars are rude and id you think so little of your guests you should just elope.

BMoreBride6

aurorajanette said:

buddysmom80 said:

lauracichelly said:

The only time I've ever seen charity rolled into a wedding is when instead of doing a favour for all the guests that are coming, the bride and groom make a donation to a charity on behalf of those attending.  But in no way is it at all appropriate to ask your guests for a financial contribution while attending your wedding

Am I the only one who gets irked when people do this? I was a guest at a wedding once where the couple made a donation on the guest's behalf for a charity that I don't really support. It just rubbed me the wrong way...

You aren't the only one. I posted in another thread about this once. I was at a friend's wedding, and their wedding favors were a donation "in the guest's honor" to PETA. It caused a huge uproar, as many of the wedding guests didn't support PETA.  If you're going to do this, don't choose a charity that is controversial in any way, and don't advertise it except in maybe one place. Some people put out little cards on every spot stating that the couple donated to X charity. To me, that screams, "look at how great and generous we are!" Super tacky.

As far as the OP, this is a tacky idea. If you would like to donate, fine, donate. Maybe have a JOP wedding and then donate anything you would spend on your wedding to a charity. Do not expect your guests to donate to a charity for you, and do not expect guests to pay for the party you are supposed to be holding for them!

Agreed to the bolded.  We did a favor but instead of going for the more elaborate ones I originally thought of, one of my bridesmaid's cancer came back so I decided to take the money we would have spent and donate it in her honor to a charity that was really helped her family over the years.  You know how we told everyone?  We didn't.  

wrigleyville

Countdown to, "OMG, you guyz. I asked for ideas for a cute poem, not your opinions on how I should live my life. I feel sorry for your husbands!"

In 3... 2... 1...

AddieCake

Am I drunk again?

arrippa

AddieL73 said:

Am I drunk again?

Maybe, but I should be. Then I bet I would understand the question.

KatWAG

wrigleyville said:

Countdown to, "OMG, you guyz. I asked for ideas for a cute poem, not your opinions on how I should live my life. I feel sorry for your husbands!"

In 3... 2... 1...

Dont forget that we are bullying also.

KeptInStitches

I want whatever you guys are having ...

kgd7357

I'm pretty sure this post isn't real. It just doesn't make enough sense to be real.

princessleia22

Inkdancer said:

Do you mean that you would like people to give to charity instead of giving wedding presents?

If that is the case, do not register anywhere and put a note on your wedding website that says "In lieu of a gift, please consider donating to X, Y, or Z charity."

I agree, if you want people to donate to charity, include it as a registry option.  Do not ask for it at the reception... big no, no.  But, some people will still prefer to give hard, tangible gifts and don't like giving cash, no matter the reason.  So, don't make cash their only option either.  And some people don't really care to give you money that you are going to just give away... they want to finance your future, not some strangers.  If you want to donate any cash gifts to charity, that's your choice, but don't force your guests to make charitable contribution.

Our first thought was that FI and I really don't "need" anything and thought about charitable contributions as a gift.  So, on our wedding website, for our registry info (on the last of 10 pages), we first state: "Gifts of any kind are not required.  But, if you want to do something to honor our big day, here are a few charities that we believe in and regularly donate to ourselves, and donations in our honor are definitely appreciated."  We then listed 3 charities that we like (one for cancer, one for another medical condition, and one for assisting lower income), all of which we have looked into and have very low income to overhead ratio (a big annoyance our ours is when a charity has large overhead and very little money actually serves the cause).  We then provided links to these charities websites so they can donate directly to the charity.  We then also includes some limited store registries, with very few items, to accommodate the people that would rather give us tangible items.

Jen4948

nicoann said:

Inkdancer said:

Do you mean that you would like people to give to charity instead of giving wedding presents?

If that is the case, do not register anywhere and put a note on your wedding website that says "In lieu of a gift, please consider donating to X, Y, or Z charity."

I agree, if you want people to donate to charity, include it as a registry option.  Do not ask for it at the reception... big no, no.  But, some people will still prefer to give hard, tangible gifts and don't like giving cash, no matter the reason.  So, don't make cash their only option either.  And some people don't really care to give you money that you are going to just give away... they want to finance your future, not some strangers.  If you want to donate any cash gifts to charity, that's your choice, but don't force your guests to make charitable contribution.

Our first thought was that FI and I really don't "need" anything and thought about charitable contributions as a gift.  So, on our wedding website, for our registry info (on the last of 10 pages), we first state: "Gifts of any kind are not required.  But, if you want to do something to honor our big day, here are a few charities that we believe in and regularly donate to ourselves, and donations in our honor are definitely appreciated."  We then listed 3 charities that we like (one for cancer, one for another medical condition, and one for assisting lower income), all of which we have looked into and have very low income to overhead ratio (a big annoyance our ours is when a charity has large overhead and very little money actually serves the cause).  We then provided links to these charities websites so they can donate directly to the charity.  We then also includes some limited store registries, with very few items, to accommodate the people that would rather give us tangible items.

No.  If people want to donate to charity, they need to make that decision for themselves without you "nudging" them by putting donations on a registry.  They may not agree with the cause you choose to register.

To be honest, the polite thing to do is not use your wedding as a fundraiser or awareness-raising event.  That's not why people attend weddings.  If you want to donate to charity, do it of your own funds and keep it to yourself.  Leave your guests out of it.

amboyna1220

WOW apparently I need to clarify. We are not registering for gifts. We are not asking people to give US money. Instead we are asking people to donate to a charity of OUR choice which is a local camp for children and families suffering from pediatric cancer. People coming to our wedding do not have to pay for drinks and do not even have to pay for a way home. It is all being provided by us. I do not understand why we cannot put out a jar for people to donate money to without sounding rude. Its for kids who the cancer!!!!! To all you bridezillas chill out, clean up your language and next time give constructive advice before jumping to conclusions. Oh yes and congrats on your wedding good luck with the wedding planning and my condolences to your future husbnads. Last time I use this resource......

Jen4948

amboyna1220 said:

WOW apparently I need to clarify. We are not registering for gifts. We are not asking people to give US money. Instead we are asking people to donate to a charity of OUR choice which is a local camp for children and families suffering from pediatric cancer. People coming to our wedding do not have to pay for drinks and do not even have to pay for a way home. It is all being provided by us. I do not understand why we cannot put out a jar for people to donate money to without sounding rude. Its for kids who the cancer!!!!! To all you bridezillas chill out, clean up your language and next time give constructive advice before jumping to conclusions. Oh yes and congrats on your wedding good luck with the wedding planning and my condolences to your future husbnads. Last time I use this resource......

And this is what is rude.  First, it's not up to you to decide what cause they should back.  It doesn't matter that the cause is children with cancer-if I don't feel like supporting that cause, it's not for you to insist that I do so by way of a "gift" to you.  Maybe they'd rather donate to some other cause-or not at all.  Not everyone wants to give to charity, and it's not your choice as to what they should do with their money.

Second, nobody is a "bridezilla" or needs to "chill out" because they disagree with you.  For you to suggest that is to throw a very immature little temper tantrum that says more about you than about anyone else.

If you want to contribute to this charity, do so with your own funds-don't go looking for "cute" or "creative" ways to get others to do it just because you're getting married.  You are not entitled to use your wedding to solicit money from people.

NYCMercedes

That the cause is good does not mean that your idea is good. You have chosen to host your friends and family, so don't say they are getting free food or booze. If you really cared about the cause, you would scale back the party and give the money directly to the charity.

monkeysip

Also, I'd like to add that just because someone doesn't want to support your charity doesn't mean they're a heartless person who doesn't care about the CAUSE.

For example, I'm sure all decent people care about children's cancer and would want to donate to help those children.  HOWEVER, a lot of people want to investigate a charity first to see exactly where the money goes.  Some charities (not saying yours) don't actually spend much of the donation money directly on the cause.  A lot of it goes to advertising, legal issues, overhead costs, etc.  People like to know more about the charity they're giving to first.

That's why we say its NEVER a good idea to ask your guests to donate to charity because no matter what the cause is--Children cancer, saving puppies, giving food to Africans--people don't always support every particular charity there is for these issues.

MobKaz

HisGirlFriday13 said:

My thought is that you are one of the tackiest brides I've ever encountered EVEN on TK, and that this is quite possibly the rudest idea ever. Also no. Also, there is no cute sign for being a money-grubbing, tacky, rude hostess. However: For those who have joined us here Even though you think you're dear We're too cheap to pay for beer Give us tips in this jar We will spread the wealth so far We don't want to pay to wed We aren't really that well-bred Money, money, checks and cash Give it now and give it fast Money grubbing whores are we Isn't this poem cute and twee?

I will curse you 1000 spells if this becomes next weeks top "pin" ;-p

HisGirlFriday13

amboyna1220 said:

WOW apparently I need to clarify. We are not registering for gifts. We are not asking people to give US money. Instead we are asking people to donate to a charity of OUR choice which is a local camp for children and families suffering from pediatric cancer. People coming to our wedding do not have to pay for drinks and do not even have to pay for a way home. It is all being provided by us. I do not understand why we cannot put out a jar for people to donate money to without sounding rude. Its for kids who the cancer!!!!! To all you bridezillas chill out, clean up your language and next time give constructive advice before jumping to conclusions. Oh yes and congrats on your wedding good luck with the wedding planning and my condolences to your future husbnads. Last time I use this resource......

1. No, sweetie, you don't have to clarify. We knew how rude you were when you first commented.

2. Because the charity is OF YOUR CHOICE. You don't get to tell people how to spend their money, and you DEFINITELY don't get to tell them how to spend their money on you.

3. Because you're being a money-grubber by demanding that people give YOU money to support a charity of YOUR choice that maybe they don't agree with. As a PP said, no one is going to say, 'OH, I hope kids get cancer and die!" but some of us will say, "Oh, I'd rather give my money to X charity or Y organization to promote Z research."

4. We did. We told you not to do this. That was constructive. Also, if you had searched the boards, you would have seen that this question has been asked and answered repeatedly.

5. The word is spelled "husbands." And buh-bye....good riddance to bad rubbish.

southernbelle0915

amboyna1220 said:

WOW apparently I need to clarify. We are not registering for gifts. We are not asking people to give US money. Instead we are asking people to donate to a charity of OUR choice which is a local camp for children and families suffering from pediatric cancer. People coming to our wedding do not have to pay for drinks and do not even have to pay for a way home. It is all being provided by us. I do not understand why we cannot put out a jar for people to donate money to without sounding rude. Its for kids who the cancer!!!!! To all you bridezillas chill out, clean up your language and next time give constructive advice before jumping to conclusions. Oh yes and congrats on your wedding good luck with the wedding planning and my condolences to your future husbnads. Last time I use this resource......

Aw, we haven't had an "I feel sorry for your husbands" in a long time. Rock on!!!

Its against etiquette to put out tip jars or solicit those money from guests (for any reason) at your wedding. You came to an etiquette board I can only assume because you care about doing the right thing etiquette wise. Now you know its not right. If you dowere going to do it anyway, I don't really understand why you'd post here to begin with.

SashaVonBonBon

So you guys get this was a troll, right?

AddieCake

It smells like speshl snowflake in here!

PrettyGirlLost

amboyna1220 said:

We have decided to donate our wedding to a charity. However, our wedding is at a winery so it is a private event and we are required to purchase all the wine ahead of time and we cannot  charge people for the wine, so I thought of putting out tip jars instead. I need a creative way to say " Im paying for your food and alcohol all night so put some money in the jar". Thoughts.....

This is not gonna go over well, but

deannagirly

huskypuppy14

wrigleyville said:

Countdown to, "OMG, you guyz. I asked for ideas for a cute poem, not your opinions on how I should live my life. I feel sorry for your husbands!"

In 3... 2... 1...

NYCBruin

Who is guarding the bridge?!?!?!?!

Anyways, pretending you're not a troll, here's some actual advice if you want to support a charity at your wedding:

Here's what you do.  Don't register.  Take any gifts you receive (cash or otherwise) and donate them to the charity of your choice.

smalfrie19

southernbelle0915 said:

WOW apparently I need to clarify. We are not registering for gifts. We are not asking people to give US money. Instead we are asking people to donate to a charity of OUR choice which is a local camp for children and families suffering from pediatric cancer. People coming to our wedding do not have to pay for drinks and do not even have to pay for a way home. It is all being provided by us. I do not understand why we cannot put out a jar for people to donate money to without sounding rude. Its for kids who the cancer!!!!! To all you bridezillas chill out, clean up your language and next time give constructive advice before jumping to conclusions. Oh yes and congrats on your wedding good luck with the wedding planning and my condolences to your future husbnads. Last time I use this resource......

Aw, we haven't had an "I feel sorry for your husbands" in a long time. 

Rock on!!! Its against etiquette to put out tip jars or solicit those money from guests (for any reason) at your wedding. You came to an etiquette board I can only assume because you care about doing the right thing etiquette wise. Now you know its not right. If you dowere going to do it anyway, I don't really understand why you'd post here to begin with.

I giggle hysterically at this!