My boyfriend and I are not engaged yet, but we've begun planning our wedding because we want to make sure we get a place with the date we've chosen (August 10, 2014). His mom is totally on board with the wedding planning and has been a lot of help to me over the past couple months. The issue is my mother. She is a single parent and while she has done her best financially, she just doesn't have the expendable income to help pay for as much of this wedding as she would like to. My future mother in law is being difficult to my mother because she has a certain level of expectation given that this is an Orthodox Jewish wedding. My mother who is fairly non religious, has no idea what she's doing and is asking a lot of questions about pricing and traditions. She doesn't like that I'm choosing to have a traditional ceremony because she won't really get to be as much a part of it as she would like. My boyfriend and I have basically been the go betweens for our mothers - I speak to my mother, then to my boyfriend, and then he speaks with his mother. When the two mothers spoke to each other it was a disaster.
In fact, this whole thing has been a disaster. I'm really forgetting why I want to have a wedding in the first place. Am I wrong to be angry at both my mother and my future mother in law? I'm also feeling an Us vs. Them attitude going on and I am not having it. My boyfriend is on his mom's side for everything, and my mother is yelling at me about whatever is bothering her that day, and I'm feeling caught in the middle.
What do I do?