Politely Declining Shower

jenniferurs

My FMIL has expressed the desire to host not one, but multiple showers for me. The problem? I don't want any. How do I go about declining them in the most tactful manner possible?

clarke10

Just be honest and thank her for the offer but you aren't interested in having a shower. 

Jen4948

Tell her, "Thanks, FMIL, but I'd really prefer not to have a shower."

AddieCake

Ditto PPs. That's how I turned down my shower. 

SomethingBeautiful08

I'll add, since this is FMIL, make sure to talk to FH about the situation, preferably before you do the actual declining so he can back you up.  Since the shower would be in honor of you, it is your choice, but it is his family so he will probably get asked.

phira

I've already declined a couple of showers (although it was more like, "Do you want me to host your shower?"). I'm sure I'll have to decline them more firmly once we get closer to the wedding. But I said stuff like, "That's so thoughtful of you to ask, but Fiance and I are not comfortable with bridal showers. Thank you for offering, though."

BeyondHappy

Family members don't host showers, because that would look like a total gift grab.  The shower is hosted by the MOH, assisted by the BMs, and the bride's closest friends are invited.  I've only seen a FMIL invited to ONE shower, ever.

What she's probably offering is an engagement party, to introduce the groom's extended family to the bride-to-be.  That's customary in traditional etiquette, for the groom's parents to host an Eparty after the bride's parents host an Eparty.  But you don't have to have those either. 

SP29

BeyondHappy said:

What she's probably offering is an engagement party, to introduce the groom's extended family to the bride-to-be.  That's customary in traditional etiquette, for the groom's parents to host an Eparty after the bride's parents host an Eparty.  But you don't have to have those either. 

That is not necessarily true. Although traditional etiquette would hold that family members do not host the bridal shower, it has become a common occurrence. 

Blue_Bird

johansmith said:

Just tell the truth.


Hawaii weddings

@KnotPorscha

jenniferurs

BeyondHappy said:

Family members don't host showers, because that would look like a total gift grab.  The shower is hosted by the MOH, assisted by the BMs, and the bride's closest friends are invited.  I've only seen a FMIL invited to ONE shower, ever.

What she's probably offering is an engagement party, to introduce the groom's extended family to the bride-to-be.  That's customary in traditional etiquette, for the groom's parents to host an Eparty after the bride's parents host an Eparty.  But you don't have to have those either. 

No, it was definitely a shower she was offering to host.