How long is too long to wait to send thank yous?

akmiller2010

I had my heart set on thank you cards with a photo or two from the wedding day on them. To clarify I don't mean a preprinted card that we just sign, I mean an actual thank you where we will write a proper thank you note.  I know it sounds a bit AWish but we've had lots of people asking about picks, I thought it would be nice especially for our out of town family that could not attend. After speaking to the photographer it will take approximately 4-5 more weeks to get them which is about 6-7 weeks after the wedding. Is this too long to wait to send thank you's? Once I get them it shouldn't take more than a day or two to get them in the mail. Is this within an acceptable timeframe or would you be judging me? Thanks in advance!

HisGirlFriday13

Six to seven weeks is bordering on two months, which is on the very outside of what I consider acceptable.

Can you ask you photographer to get you a photo for the TY cards fast and then wait on the others?

Otherwise, just use regular TY cards.

phira

I consider thank-you notes within 3 months acceptable.

AroundTheBlock

The gold standard for thank-you notes is that they should be written on before you go to bed on the day hat you received the gift. If people bring gifts to your party -- which is itself a faux pas; gifts should always be sent to your home where you can receive them discreetly and at your convenience -- then you do not really "receive" them until you have come home from your honeymoon and had a chance to open them. A good idea is to write each note as you open each gift; and not use it or open another until the note is written.

If you had your heart set on picture cards and your friends are asking for pictures, there is absolutely no reason why you cannot send an I'm-thinking-of-you note on the picture cards after they come in, completely separate from your thank-you notes. You do not even need to buy 'ordinary' thank-you cards: you can write notes on an piece of note-paper, or even on A4 sheets from your printer that you cut in half horizontally to make them about the same size as social note-paper.

RebeccaB88

You're already too far out. Get them in the mail now.

sandrabrooke

I try to write them within a couple weeks....but in my group people sometimes wait at long as six months and that is expected!!!! ( oh my that is horrible). I'd ask for a photo early because you never know if your photog will be late on his end either.

huskypuppy14

After 2 months and I start to get annoyed. We had a wedding a few years ago in July and we didn't get a thank you until November because they waited for a picture card. Just send regular thank yous. You can always send people a picture at another time, or for Christmas or something.

misssunshine17

I roll my eyes when it takes longer than six weeks. I think most people would rather have a card sooner than a picture. 

missmo14

We are sending out thank you cards as soon as we get home then just emailing guests a link to our wedding photos drop box once they come in.

hlvonb

I would say that's bordering on too long. Send a thank you card out right away and then send pictures to those who want them later.

[Deleted User]

I'd prefer it sooner rather than later. H and I got married on the 15th this month. We finished the thank-yous last week and will be mailing them out this weekend.

SP29

2 months.

I personally like the photo TY cards- it is a nice, professional photo of the B&G, WITH a lovely note on the back. I keep these. Thus, I wouldn't mind waiting a little bit for one.

But, as you can see, most others do not feel the same. 

EverAfer

2 months is ok, but the sooner the better!  It does bring a smile to my face when I get a thank you card.  If it takes too long, I'll start to wonder if they got it or if they even like it (assuming so since it's usually from the registry.)

Ask your photographer if you can get just that one photo right away and get going!

grumbledore

akmiller2010 said:

I had my heart set on thank you cards with a photo or two from the wedding day on them. To clarify I don't mean a preprinted card that we just sign, I mean an actual thank you where we will write a proper thank you note.  I know it sounds a bit AWish but we've had lots of people asking about picks, I thought it would be nice especially for our out of town family that could not attend. After speaking to the photographer it will take approximately 4-5 more weeks to get them which is about 6-7 weeks after the wedding. Is this too long to wait to send thank you's? Once I get them it shouldn't take more than a day or two to get them in the mail. Is this within an acceptable timeframe or would you be judging me? Thanks in advance!

Just send a regular card.  There's no reason to wait 6+ weeks to send thank yous.  If people want pictures, keep a list and send them when they are ready.

winelover123

2 - 3 months. H and I were on our honeymoon for half a month, so we're finishing sending ours out pretty much exactly 2 months after our wedding.

southernbelle0915

Obviously as soon as you can, but I don't side-eye anything until after 3 months. Even after that, I'd rather get a thank you note late than not at all. 

Don't let the reason for being late on TY notes be a photo though. It's one thing if they're out late because of some unforeseen emergency, tragedy, etc. but it's not cool if they're late because you're waiting on a photo. If you really want to send people pictures, do it via email.

SomethingBeautiful08

Suggestion, send TY notes now, then send the photos out as Christmas / new years cards depending on when they come out. 

yellowdaisies84

SP29 said:

2 months.

I personally like the photo TY cards- it is a nice, professional photo of the B&G, WITH a lovely note on the back. I keep these. Thus, I wouldn't mind waiting a little bit for one.

But, as you can see, most others do not feel the same. 

THIS. How I feel too.

marshmallow1982

The photographer will normally give you a few photos straight away for this purpose. Why not just ask and if they say no send out normal cards.

weddingmuse

As a wedding guest, I say if you wait that long to send thank-yous, you'd better send a picture with them.  Because at that point I'll have forgotten what wedding I attended and what you look like.

 

JK, I'll remember very well the gift for which I haven't been thanked yet, and the couple who has neglected to send a note.

ei34

I love a thank you card with a great picture and a hand-written note from the couple- I save them by slipping them into my photo album wherever I put pictures I took from that particular wedding- so I feel that a nice thank you is worth the wait.  I should add though that I don't get offended receiving a thank you card six months or even a full year after a wedding.  I guess there are bigger things in my life that I worry about.

In your specific situation, 6-7 weeks after a wedding isn't a distance that even a stickler would be too upset with (I think??).  I got mine out about 3-4 weeks after my wedding and didn't receive any complaints.

NYCBruin

eileenrob said:

I love a thank you card with a great picture and a hand-written note from the couple- I save them by slipping them into my photo album wherever I put pictures I took from that particular wedding- so I feel that a nice thank you is worth the wait.  I should add though that I don't get offended receiving a thank you card six months or even a full year after a wedding.  I guess there are bigger things in my life that I worry about.

In your specific situation, 6-7 weeks after a wedding isn't a distance that even a stickler would be too upset with (I think??).  I got mine out about 3-4 weeks after my wedding and didn't receive any complaints.

Even if you don't get offended, there's a practical issue with sending a TY note that late.  What if you sent a 2 part gift and got a TY note for one of the gifts 8 months later.  At that point, you'd realize that the couple only received half of your gift and there would likely be nothing you could do to remedy the situation with the store.

Oh and it goes without saying, just because something doesn't personally offend you doesn't make it less rude  We all have rude things that don't bother us personally, but that doesn't make it sound advice to tell others that such behavior is acceptable.

ei34

NYCBruin said:

eileenrob said:

I love a thank you card with a great picture and a hand-written note from the couple- I save them by slipping them into my photo album wherever I put pictures I took from that particular wedding- so I feel that a nice thank you is worth the wait.  I should add though that I don't get offended receiving a thank you card six months or even a full year after a wedding.  I guess there are bigger things in my life that I worry about.

In your specific situation, 6-7 weeks after a wedding isn't a distance that even a stickler would be too upset with (I think??).  I got mine out about 3-4 weeks after my wedding and didn't receive any complaints.

Even if you don't get offended, there's a practical issue with sending a TY note that late.  What if you sent a 2 part gift and got a TY note for one of the gifts 8 months later.  At that point, you'd realize that the couple only received half of your gift and there would likely be nothing you could do to remedy the situation with the store.

Oh and it goes without saying, just because something doesn't personally offend you doesn't make it less rude  We all have rude things that don't bother us personally, but that doesn't make it sound advice to tell others that such behavior is acceptable.

I always smile when people preface a sentence with "it goes without saying".  Then why say it lol..  You do raise an excellent point though!  A timely thank you is a good way to ensure your gift was received.  I hadn't thought of that, as I always give a check at weddings, and it's easy to see that it's been cashed.  But you're right, for those concerned about their gift being received, a thank you card confirms this.

divinemsbee

A bit late on this, but as PP said, most photographers can give you one or two photos pretty immediately, now, that's assuming that you don't have to go through the photog to print all of your pictures and you aren't ordering your cards through them (make sure you own your pictures and will get them all, that's something that was really important to me). Or, I'm sure you'll have guests taking pics, maybe use one of the guest pics (which for a lot of people turn out really good) on your thank yous and then use the professional ones for a Christmas/Holiday/New Year's card. Get a picture you liked of your wedding and then get on Vistaprint or Tiny Prints or whatever and order cards there. I actually didn't get my wedding photos except the preview until February and my wedding was in November, I was tempted to send mine out as our Christmas card this year (didn't, but wish I had them last year).

divinemsbee

A bit late on this, but as PP said, most photographers can give you one or two photos pretty immediately, now, that's assuming that you don't have to go through the photog to print all of your pictures and you aren't ordering your cards through them (make sure you own your pictures and will get them all, that's something that was really important to me). Or, I'm sure you'll have guests taking pics, maybe use one of the guest pics (which for a lot of people turn out really good) on your thank yous and then use the professional ones for a Christmas/Holiday/New Year's card. Get a picture you liked of your wedding and then get on Vistaprint or Tiny Prints or whatever and order cards there. I actually didn't get my wedding photos except the preview until February and my wedding was in November, I was tempted to send mine out as our Christmas card this year (didn't, but wish I had them last year).

JeeGooDowster

2-3 months is acceptable. I sent mine out at the 2 month mark. As some PP's have said, I do not care either...as long as I get one....still waiting for one from September 2012...though I'm sure that I'll never get one...no biggie, my husband and I still get together with them for drinks LoL. HOWEVER the ones that do care...usually want it right away. So my advice to you is get them out ASAP.

kgd7357

I think it's important to send TY notes for boxed gifts as soon as possible, so people know that you got them. Although 2 months wouldn't bother me at all (I may be in the minority though). I recently got a TY after 6 months for a mailed gift, and I was a little worried about 4 months out that they didn't get it.

We are sending TY notes for boxed gifts before we leave for our honeymoon (no more than 1 month after wedding). For cash gifts, we actually plan to send them as post cards from the honeymoon, which does require some waiting, much like your photos. We travel A LOT and I love to send post cards, so it's very fitting though. The post cards will probably get to their destination about 6-8 weeks after the wedding since they are coming from South America. I also like this idea because we can write something along the lines of "your generous gift has truely enhanced this wonderful adventure". I just think this is way more personal and cooler than sending one sooner, just for the sake of sending one. Although, if we were going on the trip any later, I think I would scrap this idea.

If you can get your picture cards to people within two months, I say go for them. If not, scrap them.

 

hoffse

I roll my eyes after 6 weeks also.  It just shouldn't take that long.

If you want people to see wedding photos, then use them for your holiday cards.  That's what H and I did, and we got our thank yous out within a week of the wedding.  Our thank yous were still personalized.  I ordered thank yous with a joint monogram, since it's something we could finally use post-wedding.  And for very early gifts, I sent regular thank yous as they came in.  NBD.

Belthil

Ask your photographer if it would be possible to get a photo fast for your thank you cards.

My H had his heart set on TY cards with a photo from our wedding on them. No idea why, but it was one of the few things he seemed to really care about. We got a copy of one of the photos from our photographer about a week after our wedding. That gave us enough time to order the cards, write our notes and mail out the cards well within my two month goal.

 

GrrArgh

We're getting married in 4 weeks. Maybe its too long but I intend to send the first batch out the day before the wedding for shower and party gifts. (in total about 7 weeks from first shower to mailing date) Nearly ever gift at the shower was addressed to my FI and I. We want to send out thank you cards from the both of us. We are writing and addressing them as we receive but are are opting to wait until we can address the return address as a couple sharing the same name and our new shared address (because we're also moving... don't move and marry at the same time... really just don't) before we put them in the post. Anything received the week of, the actual wedding or post wedding will be handled upon our return from our honeymoon or asap. 

We have also spoken with our photographer because we really like the idea of doing a few photo thank yous for our OOT friends and family members who we know are sending gifts but are unable to attend the wedding. Maybe we're just lucky but after speaking with our photographer she has agreed to rush retouching on a few of the pictures (we're leaving which ones up to her with a few directions as to what we're looking for) that can be plugged directly into the format of the a pre-picked (format, not message) thank you photo card which my fantastic MOH/Big Sis is handling for us. They should be printed and delivered to the doorstep within 1-2 weeks for us to write our personal messages and thank yous on, meaning at most we'd be looking long side 3-4 weeks post wedding for gifts received the week/day of but again that's not for every guest. 

HisGirlFriday13

GrrArgh said:

We're getting married in 4 weeks. Maybe its too long but I intend to send the first batch out the day before the wedding for shower and party gifts. (in total about 7 weeks from first shower to mailing date) Nearly ever gift at the shower was addressed to my FI and I. We want to send out thank you cards from the both of us. We are writing and addressing them as we receive but are are opting to wait until we can address the return address as a couple sharing the same name and our new shared address (because we're also moving... don't move and marry at the same time... really just don't) before we put them in the post. Anything received the week of, the actual wedding or post wedding will be handled upon our return from our honeymoon or asap. 

We have also spoken with our photographer because we really like the idea of doing a few photo thank yous for our OOT friends and family members who we know are sending gifts but are unable to attend the wedding. Maybe we're just lucky but after speaking with our photographer she has agreed to rush retouching on a few of the pictures (we're leaving which ones up to her with a few directions as to what we're looking for) that can be plugged directly into the format of the a pre-picked (format, not message) thank you photo card which my fantastic MOH/Big Sis is handling for us. They should be printed and delivered to the doorstep within 1-2 weeks for us to write our personal messages and thank yous on, meaning at most we'd be looking long side 3-4 weeks post wedding for gifts received the week/day of but again that's not for every guest. 

To the bolded: There is no maybe, this is too damn long.

Nearly every gift we got at both showers was addressed ti both of us. I still wrote every single TY note within 24 hiurs5 and mailed them. People knew who they had bought the gifts for, whether I signed it with my maiden ir married name.

Also, we moved and got married at the same time, too, and I still had all our wedding TYs out within four days.

You should have mailed the shower TYs within two weeks, not the nearly two months you are planning.