Wedding Party


Hi all,

I was wondering how to go about the process of bridesmaid shoes.  I don't want to make them all wear the exact same shoes (what's comfortable for one person might not be for another, etc), but what requests can I make that are reasonable so the shoes all look similar?  I don't want to be too pushy or make them buy something they don't like, but I would like the shoes to all look good together.  Thanks so much for any advice!

Re: Shoes

  • I just went through this. I chatted with the girls about what color shoes they already owned, and it turns out all but one have nude shoes. They are wearing navy blue dresses, so the nude will look great. I asked the other one if she was okay with picking up a pair of any nude shoes that she likes, and she had no problem with it.

    The key here is that you can't really ask them to get any weird color or type of shoe without paying for it yourself. If you go with basics, nude, black, or silver, it's pretty reasonable to request that color. Another simple request that I'm not making but isn't too unreasonable is closed or open toed. I don't think you can really get more restrictive than this without having to pay.

    If you don't have a really strong preference what the color is (I didn't except no black) it is probably worth shooting out an email asking for the BM's opinion on what they think would look good with the dresses and on what shoes they already have. From there you can make a reasonable decision that works best for at least the majority of the BMs, but still looks cohesive.
  • Pick out a color and have them pick our their own shoe.

  • I had mine all wear black shoes, but honestly, I wish I hadn't even bothered to do that much. No one will be looking at their feet and comparing anyway, and I don't even have a single picture where you can tell what color they are. Either the pictures are too close up to show feet, or they're so far out the shoes are basically dots.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I agree with Allie. Just a color is enough, but even that doesn't matter. I have no idea what my bridesmaids' shoes looked like. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • My girls were wearing long dark brown dresses so I was like, I'm fine with you all wearing black for the same reason you don't want to make your girls all wear the same shoe. They all voiced they wanted brown, so I was flexible and said if you want brown, that's fine with me too. Well then they went shopping trying to find brown shoes that didn't look like grandma should be wearing them with no luck, but they still didn't want to do black. So 3 out of four ended up with a metallic color of some sort. If their dresses are short, then maybe pick a single color like, black or silver or white (depending on color of dress) and just let them go from there so at least they are the same colors.

  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    You can ask them to, as an example, wear black dressy shoes.  Then, be fine with the fact that one might want to wear basic flats whereas another one wants to wear glitzy, high heels.  
  • I would just pick out a color and tell them what your venue is like and the formality of the event in general. If you're getting married outside in the grass, if it's in a church, etc. If I were a BM, that would help me decide the style (wedge, flat, heel) and the formality (casual vs. dressy). 

  • I just asked them to wear silver shoes.  My MOH either had or bought a pair that worked for her and my two bridesmaids (my nieces) bought matching shoes because they wanted too.  They also wanted matching jewelry and purses but their moms drew the line at that.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    Black or nude shoes. As others said, absolutely no one is going to look at their shoes- including you on the day.  Even if you plan on having some "cute shoes" shots on the wedding day, I sincerely doubt you'll order or display the prints.
  • I told my bridesmaids to wear whatever shoes they like (dress was black), but my preference would be to fit in the colors of the wedding -teal, purple, dark gray, silver, black. I told them they didn't HAVE to buy new shoes but could use the wedding as an excuse/blame me if they wanted to.

  • I didn't have a preference as far as what shoes my BMs wore, and I'm not sure what they ended's a small detail you won't notice day of.  From the BM side of things, I've been in several weddings, and I prefer when the bride says wear whatever you want or suggests black shoes..
  • My BMs asked what I wanted them to wear. I said 'black,' because they were wearing short, dark purple dresses.

    I had one really high-maintenance BM (she gets shoes dyed to match her going-out dresses), so I didn't want to tell them, 'Whatever you want' and have her pressure the other two into dyed-to-match shoes.

    I figured all women own black shoes of some kind. One BM wore shoes she already owned. The other two bought new pairs. Other than seeing my SIL's peep-toe booties and having instant shoe envy, I do not remember my BM's shoes at all.

    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Unless your BMs are wearing short dresses, no one will see their shoes. If you want to give them some guidance, tell them a color you'd prefer, but I'd let them pick out whatever they want. 

  • Just give them a color and be done. Don't do what the bride of the last wedding I was in did and buy us the same shoes as "our gift."
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