Do we do a registry???

AliLovesJD

This is the second marriage for both of us. He was deployed in a warzone when he married his first wife. She didn't love him and only wanted his benefits. They divorced very quickly. He didn't have any family there and it was a court house wedding. I had the classic big wedding with all my friends and family but I didn't actually WANT to marry him. We were together out of habit since high school, nothing more. Nevertheless I did have the bridal shower and gift registry. My fiance didn't though. We lost a lot of possessions due to our ex's and Hurricane Sandy. We are having a wedding of 100 guests including us and the bridal party. Only close family and friends. His family is treating this like it's his first marriage which in many ways it is. They never lived together, he was deployed for their whole marriage. This is starting over in the best way for both of us. We would love to do a registry. Would it be inappropriate though?

MikesAngie

Register!!!  It's not inappropriate and it will help guests know what direction your tastes and like are in.  

If someone offers to throw a shower in your honor you can accept as well.  

radleyboo

Register.  

[Deleted User]

Register!  I am having similar feelings though. This is a 2nd for both of us and we have already blended our houses together. Not sure what to do myself!

CTYankeeBride

Another vote for registering! 

Even though this is the second wedding for both of us, and we both had a household full of stuff prior to us moving in together, we are registering. There are a few things we would love to replace/ update so we are registering for those.

It is not at all inappropriate- there are guests who will want to give you a "boxed" wedding gift and not cash, and a registry will help them to know what your decor and tastes are even if they "go off-registry." 

triciaandkenswedding

Register.   This is my second, and his first.  We've been living together over a year and plan on using the registry to replace some things.  New dishes, towels, sheets, etc.   You can also do some unique registries.  Home Depot for a grill, Best buy for electronics, etc.

blackbttrfly

Definitely register!  As @CTYankeeBride said, you can update/replace items that need updating/replacing.  This is both our second time around and we registered.  Neither one of us had the fine china or place settings, and I took the opportunity to replace the pots and pans I've had for 14 years and add some new kitchen gadgets.  Registering at other places, like @triciaandkenswedding mentioned, is a good idea too.  I had a friend that registered her honeymoon and guests could pay for certain things.  It was definitely different! 

photokitty

Honeymoon registries are rude, sorry to say your friend was impolite.

Here is my canned answer on HM registries:

We did not register - anywhere. Everyone knows cash is always appropriate, appreciated and often preferred - literally everyone on earth knows this. =o) 

Some people will want to get you a physical gift - these are not the people who use HM registries. The people who use HM registries are people who would give you a check, but instead think that you will receive the FULL amount they gift you. You you will ACTUALLY receive that massage, not a credit on your bill and if you decide you can get the massage or take the excursion. 

But I have good news  

For our wedding the gifts broke down like this: 75% cash or check, 20% gift cards and 5% physical gifts. 

If you want money or don't need anything don't register. This is the best way to politely suggest folks give you money. I'm telling you from experience ;-) 

 A HM is not polite, sorry. There is nothing wrong with saying, when asked where you are registered, we are saving up for the honeymoon (or house or big screen TV or whatever it is you'd like to purchase). GL!

OhHeyLiana

HM registries are becoming more and more de rigueur though. And for many couples it's the only way they're getting farther than the local hotel for their honeymoon. As for the OP? Register. people will want to get you things anyways, even if you don't register. This way you give them an idea of things you would like and cut down on returns.

photokitty

OhHeyLiana said:

HM registries are becoming more and more de rigueur though. And for many couples it's the only way they're getting farther than the local hotel for their honeymoon. As for the OP? Register. people will want to get you things anyways, even if you don't register. This way you give them an idea of things you would like and cut down on returns.

More common is not the same thing as no longer rude. If you can't afford to go on a honeymoon, wait and save up for one. Or cut back on wedding costs. Or don't registry and if people ask tell them you are saving up for the honeymoon...telling them to pay for your honeymoon is rude - and that's what a MH registry does. Tacky, so very tacky.