Moms and Maids

Am I being a Bridezilla?

13

Re: Am I being a Bridezilla?

  • I'm allergic to smoke too. But, I would have to be in a smokey bar for an hour for the smoke to affect me. However if I'm around someone who just smoked outside, I don't get ill from this at all. It seems like you are using your allergy as an excuse to control people.
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    BNJ810 said:
    BNJ810 said:
    If this is such a concern to you, why don't you actually break your 10 year streak and go to the doctor?
    I'm not sure how it is any of your concern why I chose not to see a doctor. If you have nothing to contribute to the question why post anything at all? Move along.
    Guess what? When you put things out there on the internet, people can and will comment on all of them. You shouldn't have posted if you aren't able to accept hearing things you don't want to hear. You asked if you were being a bridezilla, you were answered, and now you're all defensive because the answer wasn't that it's okay to control someone else's actions.
    My question was about being a bridezilla.  I am more than accepting of the responses regardless of what I wanted to hear.  I asked a question and I am getting the answer.  What I did not ask for is bitchy women telling me what to do with my non wedding related life.  If it's so rude to ask someone not to smoke for one day when they will be very close to me how in the hell is it not rude to tell a complete stranger to go to the fucking doctor.  If you want to comment on the smoking issue, which I have already established I'm going to deal with, then go ahead and keep commenting but if you have nothing related to that to say then move along and have a great day.   

    Grow the hell up.



    Maggie0829ohannabelle
  • @BNJ810 - I don't think you're crazy at all. This is your wedding day, a day that is very important to you and your groom. I don't think this one request makes you a bridezilla. 

    Smoking drives me crazy as well. It doesn't make me vomit or anything serious, but I also cannot stand the smell. I'm going to guess that the time span of your wedding is about 10 hours right? That's not the whole day. Asking them to not smoke during this time frame is really not that big a deal. I understand that there are addictions, but that is not that big of a time frame to go without a cigarette. I don't know strong their addictions are, but they should be able to handle it. Also, being that they're your mother and MOH, they are both probably going to be pretty busy during this day. They may not even have time to think about wanting a cigarette. So anyway, I don't think requesting them to not smoke for ten hours is a big deal. They should ultimately take your thoughts and concerns into consideration because guess what, it is your day. That doesn't make you a bridezilla. I'm sure most of the people on this post will not agree with me, and if that's true I guess we can both be "bridezillas" in their eyes.

    If your MOH and mom absolutely cannot give up smoking for ten hours (which is sad), here's some things you could try. 
    I like the idea of having the segregated room with mints, and sprays.
    I also like the idea of having a jacket they wear and then take off.
    You could also try just making the whole venue non-smoking so that everyone's the same, maybe this way since no one's smoking everyone will forget about it.

    I'm sorry that you are going through this and really wish you the best of luck.
    applezing
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    @BNJ810 - I don't think you're crazy at all. This is your wedding day, a day that is very important to you and your groom. I don't think this one request makes you a bridezilla. 


    Smoking drives me crazy as well. It doesn't make me vomit or anything serious, but I also cannot stand the smell. I'm going to guess that the time span of your wedding is about 10 hours right? That's not the whole day. Asking them to not smoke during this time frame is really not that big a deal. I understand that there are addictions, but that is not that big of a time frame to go without a cigarette. I don't know strong their addictions are, but they should be able to handle it. Also, being that they're your mother and MOH, they are both probably going to be pretty busy during this day. They may not even have time to think about wanting a cigarette. So anyway, I don't think requesting them to not smoke for ten hours is a big deal. They should ultimately take your thoughts and concerns into consideration because guess what, it is your day. That doesn't make you a bridezilla. I'm sure most of the people on this post will not agree with me, and if that's true I guess we can both be "bridezillas" in their eyes.

    If your MOH and mom absolutely cannot give up smoking for ten hours (which is sad), here's some things you could try. 
    I like the idea of having the segregated room with mints, and sprays.
    I also like the idea of having a jacket they wear and then take off.
    You could also try just making the whole venue non-smoking so that everyone's the same, maybe this way since no one's smoking everyone will forget about it.

    I'm sorry that you are going through this and really wish you the best of luck.
    -------------------------------------------
    Bad advice. Very, very bad advice given from most likely one bridezilla to another.

    How the hell hard is it to understand that you cannot and should not control adults?


    PrettyGirlLost
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I love how someone thinks it is just as simple as not smoking for 10 hours. Yeah, sure! Just stop smoking on command for 10 hours! No biggie! Smokers are ADDICTED to cigarettes. Derrrrr.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    ohannabelle[Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • Again, it really REALLY does not seem like a big deal to me. She's not controlling adults. She, as an adult, is asking them, to be adult and please respect her wishes for JUST ONE DAY. Especially if it bothers her that much. Also, I'm not a bridezilla. Do not assume you know me, because you don't. You're right, I'm not a smoker. But I do know some smokers, and believe it or not - when needed, they can go ten hours without one. Because some of them have jobs that do not allow them to smoke. They deal with it. They are fine. Leave this poor bride alone and realize that this one little request is actually not that bad.
    applezing
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Again, it really REALLY does not seem like a big deal to me. She's not controlling adults. She, as an adult, is asking them, to be adult and please respect her wishes for JUST ONE DAY. Especially if it bothers her that much. Also, I'm not a bridezilla. Do not assume you know me, because you don't. You're right, I'm not a smoker. But I do know some smokers, and believe it or not - when needed, they can go ten hours without one. Because some of them have jobs that do not allow them to smoke. They deal with it. They are fine. Leave this poor bride alone and realize that this one little request is actually not that bad.
    There is a big difference between going ten hours without smoking because your job, which pays you money, does not allow it and going without smoking because some bride is unwilling to go to the freaking doctors to see why she has such a bad reaction to smoke (which I am really doubting at this point).

    And yes, asking someone to go without smoking for a period of time is controlling them.  You are controlling their normal everyday actions.  Imagine if you had a habit that you did everyday without really evening thinking about it and someone asked you to not do it all day.  You would probably be irritated and feel like a child being told what to do.  And that is just a habit.  People who smoke have an addiction.  They may be willing to go without their fix for work because they need a paycheck but I doubt they will be fine going without a cgi because some princess doesn't like the smell.

    OliveOilsMomsouthernbelle0915[Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • If you had seen a doctor, an allergist would have told you that inhaled allergens (smoke, perfume, pollen) do not cause vomiting or migraines. That would be a symptom of ingested (food) allergens. Problem solved. Now you should see a doctor to find out why you experience migraines and vomiting around your mother and maid of honor.

    Are you a doctor? 

    I cannot even believe I am explaining myself.  I've had these issues since I was young.  It's not just cigarette smoke.  It's smells in general.  There is no rhyme or reason for when/how they will effect me and I never know what kind of smells cause a problem.  There are some things that have a more common reaction than others.  The smell of cigarettes is the worst/most common. 

    When I was young I went to numerous doctors.  I've seen gen. practice physicians, internists, allergists, ophthalmologists, otolaryngologists, migraine specialists, even a neuromuscular dentist.  After more tests and doctors appointments than I can possibly count and numerous prescriptions that did absolutely nothing we gave up.  My mom spent thousands of dollars trying to figure out what was wrong and they never came up with anything other than a new prescription to try.   Since this clearly isn't going to kill me I decided it's not worth it to spend the money.  I avoid things that will generally make me sick and when it happens I suck it up and deal with it.  I've accepted it's just a weird thing that's wrong with my body.  I have no desire to see a doctor now because what's the point?  It's a waste of my time and theirs.  Plus, it's a waste of money.   

  • "The final diagnosis, if you can believe it, was simply that I was a princess. " 

    This is hilarious.  It kills me that so many of you assume that every new person on here is some sort of princess that believes the world should revolve around them.  I could not possibly be any further from a princess, but I sure do love being judged by strangers.  It's thoroughly entertaining.  I'm sure most of the sarcastic comments I've made are being taken seriously but I just can't help but wonder how all of you people act in real life.  Honestly, it's beyond fascinating.   

    bmydesignerapplezing
  • BNJ810 said:

    "The final diagnosis, if you can believe it, was simply that I was a princess. " 

    This is hilarious.  It kills me that so many of you assume that every new person on here is some sort of princess that believes the world should revolve around them.  I could not possibly be any further from a princess, but I sure do love being judged by strangers.  It's thoroughly entertaining.  I'm sure most of the sarcastic comments I've made are being taken seriously but I just can't help but wonder how all of you people act in real life.  Honestly, it's beyond fascinating.   

    Actually, if someone mentioned in real life that they have not been to a doctor in years and refuse to go, I would tell them to just go to the fucking doctor. HTH
    image
    OliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLost
  • BNJ810 said:

    "The final diagnosis, if you can believe it, was simply that I was a princess. " 

    This is hilarious.  It kills me that so many of you assume that every new person on here is some sort of princess that believes the world should revolve around them.  I could not possibly be any further from a princess, but I sure do love being judged by strangers.  It's thoroughly entertaining.  I'm sure most of the sarcastic comments I've made are being taken seriously but I just can't help but wonder how all of you people act in real life.  Honestly, it's beyond fascinating.   

    Actually, if someone mentioned in real life that they have not been to a doctor in years and refuse to go, I would tell them to just go to the fucking doctor. HTH

     Do you go to the doctor every time you have a head ache or an upset stomach?  Every time you have a cough?

    Why should I bother to go when they couldn't figure it out the first time?  Why spend my time and money going to the doctor?  Not to mention trying to get off work.  Every doctor I have ever known/been treated by treats the symptoms not the cause.  And I have no desire to take one medication just to switch and try another.   We can debate the pros/cons of seeing doctors all day long but it's completely irrelevant to the original topic.   

    [Deleted User]
  • How about because medicine constantly evolves and doctors might just have a better way of helping you after 10 years?

    Also, since now it's many many smells that cause problems then your focus on your mom and MOH smoking makes even less sense.

     

    I can't even believe I am still humoring this.  You are absolutely right.  Doctors are indeed magical people.  This time, they will absolutely know what is wrong with me and it will be more than worth it to use all my vacation days to see a lovely doctor that absolutely will see my right at my scheduled appointment time.  I know that because you have encouraged me to return to a doctor that they will automatically, as soon as I walk into their office, know just what has been happening my whole life.  Thank you so much for helping me to see the error in my silly ways.  You, my friend, are a little blessing. 

     

    It's always been "many many" smells.  This isn't something new, it's been this way the majority of my life.  Almost everyone who knows me is aware of all this weird problems and will generally avoid perfumes and things.  And yes, of course, it's because I throw a "princess" fit every time and yell and kick and scream and demand that all perfume be destroyed and anyone who wears it should be stoned to death.  One time, I actually threatened to light someone on fire for wearing it.  Or maybe they are just polite people who are willing to make changes for others.  I'm sure it's because I'm such a horrible princess though. 

    To be serious though, I think you must have missed a previous post where I mentioned that it is lots of things but the smell of cigarettes is the worst one.  It is the smell that will effect me most often.  Since I am going to be exposed to a lot of smells anyway I would like to avoid the one that I know usually causes a problem.  With my guests, I can't assume no one will be wearing any fragrance (that's completely ridiculous), but I can avoid long periods of contact with that person.  With my mother, who will be with me most of the day, and my MOH, who will be there all day plus sitting at the same table, I can't avoid them.  Nor do I want to have to.   

    bmydesigner
  • Again, it really REALLY does not seem like a big deal to me. She's not controlling adults. She, as an adult, is asking them, to be adult and please respect her wishes for JUST ONE DAY. Especially if it bothers her that much. Also, I'm not a bridezilla. Do not assume you know me, because you don't. You're right, I'm not a smoker. But I do know some smokers, and believe it or not - when needed, they can go ten hours without one. Because some of them have jobs that do not allow them to smoke. They deal with it. They are fine. Leave this poor bride alone and realize that this one little request is actually not that bad.
    There is a big difference between going ten hours without smoking because your job, which pays you money, does not allow it and going without smoking because some bride is unwilling to go to the freaking doctors to see why she has such a bad reaction to smoke (which I am really doubting at this point).

    And yes, asking someone to go without smoking for a period of time is controlling them.  You are controlling their normal everyday actions.  Imagine if you had a habit that you did everyday without really evening thinking about it and someone asked you to not do it all day.  You would probably be irritated and feel like a child being told what to do.  And that is just a habit.  People who smoke have an addiction.  They may be willing to go without their fix for work because they need a paycheck but I doubt they will be fine going without a cgi because some princess doesn't like the smell.



    Okay, so maybe it's a bit controlling. I'll give you that. But really, it's the only thing she's asking. And let me point out here that she's asking, not demanding. To me, if I was in the situation of her MOH or mother, I would be glad to do whatever I possibly could to make the bride happy on the most important day of her life. They should do it out of love. It's not about being controlling, or being a bridezilla, or what's fair and not fair. It's about their daughter / best friend asking them to fill out one little request so that she does not get sick on her wedding day. I know for a fact that my dad would have done the same thing for me if I asked him to. He was a pretty heavy smoker at times, but he knew how much I didn't like it and because he loved me, he would of given it up for just a few hours.

    OP, I'm sorry about your frustration with doctors. I can sort of relate. My college roommate would wake up, and throw up almost every morning. She'd been to countless doctors, gone through plenty of tests, and still - no one could figure out what was wrong with her. Sometimes, in rare cases, but still happens nonetheless - doctors don't know what is wrong with you. Medical science is in fact improving every day, but it is still not perfect. I understand that you might not have all of the money in the world to spend on trying to figure out what's wrong with you day in and day out. I wish you luck though, hopefully one day you will be able to figure out what's wrong because I'm sure living like that isn't preferable.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Again, it really REALLY does not seem like a big deal to me. She's not controlling adults. She, as an adult, is asking them, to be adult and please respect her wishes for JUST ONE DAY. Especially if it bothers her that much. Also, I'm not a bridezilla. Do not assume you know me, because you don't. You're right, I'm not a smoker. But I do know some smokers, and believe it or not - when needed, they can go ten hours without one. Because some of them have jobs that do not allow them to smoke. They deal with it. They are fine. Leave this poor bride alone and realize that this one little request is actually not that bad.
    There is a big difference between going ten hours without smoking because your job, which pays you money, does not allow it and going without smoking because some bride is unwilling to go to the freaking doctors to see why she has such a bad reaction to smoke (which I am really doubting at this point).

    And yes, asking someone to go without smoking for a period of time is controlling them.  You are controlling their normal everyday actions.  Imagine if you had a habit that you did everyday without really evening thinking about it and someone asked you to not do it all day.  You would probably be irritated and feel like a child being told what to do.  And that is just a habit.  People who smoke have an addiction.  They may be willing to go without their fix for work because they need a paycheck but I doubt they will be fine going without a cgi because some princess doesn't like the smell.



    Okay, so maybe it's a bit controlling. I'll give you that. But really, it's the only thing she's asking. And let me point out here that she's asking, not demanding. To me, if I was in the situation of her MOH or mother, I would be glad to do whatever I possibly could to make the bride happy on the most important day of her life. They should do it out of love. It's not about being controlling, or being a bridezilla, or what's fair and not fair. It's about their daughter / best friend asking them to fill out one little request so that she does not get sick on her wedding day. I know for a fact that my dad would have done the same thing for me if I asked him to. He was a pretty heavy smoker at times, but he knew how much I didn't like it and because he loved me, he would of given it up for just a few hours.

    OP, I'm sorry about your frustration with doctors. I can sort of relate. My college roommate would wake up, and throw up almost every morning. She'd been to countless doctors, gone through plenty of tests, and still - no one could figure out what was wrong with her. Sometimes, in rare cases, but still happens nonetheless - doctors don't know what is wrong with you. Medical science is in fact improving every day, but it is still not perfect. I understand that you might not have all of the money in the world to spend on trying to figure out what's wrong with you day in and day out. I wish you luck though, hopefully one day you will be able to figure out what's wrong because I'm sure living like that isn't preferable.
    But she shouldn't be asking.  These two individuals know about her "condition" so they can choose for themselves without her asking to smoke or not smoke the day of the wedding.  And they are choosing not to give it up.  It does not mean that they love her less if they did decide to not smoke that day.  Their body, their choice.  And if the smell of smoke is such a huge issue that results in the OP being bed-ridden then I don't understand how asking only these two people is going to solve anything.  She would have to ask all of her guests to not smoke and/or find a venue that prohibits smoking inside and out and spray everyone with febreeze (if that doesn't make her sick) to eliminate Andy and all odors that they may bring into the wedding.

    What I am trying to say is asking two people to not smoke is not going to solve her health problems.  Since she apparently gets sick from loads of smells even if these two women refrain from smoking doesn't guarantee that she won't get sick.

    I just think if the OP has such a serious aversion to all smells that the best thing would be to elope so she then has almost complete control over what smells are at her wedding.

    southernbelle0915KeptInStitches
  • southernbelle0915  Are we reading the same thread?  I said a long time ago (not sure how far back) that I wasn't forcing them to do anything.  I have no desire to use my wedding as a "trump card". 

    I think it is so amusing that you assume that I must want this big wedding where I'm a princess and everyone looks at me and I can demand people to do whatever I want because it's "MY" day.  Not that it matters but I didn't, and still don't, want a wedding.  I have no desire to be the center of attention and I am doing all of this STRICTLY for my fiancé who wants a giant wedding. 

    I thought this thread was done last week.  What we still seem to be debating (for reason of which I cannot begin to understand) is seeing a doctor.  Which will not have any impact what so ever on the question I was asking.  Even if I started seeing doctors today it's more than highly unlikely that they would figure it out and cure it before our wedding day.   

    applezing
  • But it is actually pretty likely that they could at least find a way to help you cope with or minimize your symptoms for a day, assuming this is not some form of attention-seeking hypochondria, in which case I guess you'll be SOL.
    image
  • Again, it really REALLY does not seem like a big deal to me. She's not controlling adults. She, as an adult, is asking them, to be adult and please respect her wishes for JUST ONE DAY. Especially if it bothers her that much. Also, I'm not a bridezilla. Do not assume you know me, because you don't. You're right, I'm not a smoker. But I do know some smokers, and believe it or not - when needed, they can go ten hours without one. Because some of them have jobs that do not allow them to smoke. They deal with it. They are fine. Leave this poor bride alone and realize that this one little request is actually not that bad.
    There is a big difference between going ten hours without smoking because your job, which pays you money, does not allow it and going without smoking because some bride is unwilling to go to the freaking doctors to see why she has such a bad reaction to smoke (which I am really doubting at this point).

    And yes, asking someone to go without smoking for a period of time is controlling them.  You are controlling their normal everyday actions.  Imagine if you had a habit that you did everyday without really evening thinking about it and someone asked you to not do it all day.  You would probably be irritated and feel like a child being told what to do.  And that is just a habit.  People who smoke have an addiction.  They may be willing to go without their fix for work because they need a paycheck but I doubt they will be fine going without a cgi because some princess doesn't like the smell.



    Okay, so maybe it's a bit controlling. I'll give you that. But really, it's the only thing she's asking. And let me point out here that she's asking, not demanding. To me, if I was in the situation of her MOH or mother, I would be glad to do whatever I possibly could to make the bride happy on the most important day of her life. They should do it out of love. It's not about being controlling, or being a bridezilla, or what's fair and not fair. It's about their daughter / best friend asking them to fill out one little request so that she does not get sick on her wedding day. I know for a fact that my dad would have done the same thing for me if I asked him to. He was a pretty heavy smoker at times, but he knew how much I didn't like it and because he loved me, he would of given it up for just a few hours.

    OP, I'm sorry about your frustration with doctors. I can sort of relate. My college roommate would wake up, and throw up almost every morning. She'd been to countless doctors, gone through plenty of tests, and still - no one could figure out what was wrong with her. Sometimes, in rare cases, but still happens nonetheless - doctors don't know what is wrong with you. Medical science is in fact improving every day, but it is still not perfect. I understand that you might not have all of the money in the world to spend on trying to figure out what's wrong with you day in and day out. I wish you luck though, hopefully one day you will be able to figure out what's wrong because I'm sure living like that isn't preferable.
    But she shouldn't be asking.  These two individuals know about her "condition" so they can choose for themselves without her asking to smoke or not smoke the day of the wedding.  And they are choosing not to give it up.  It does not mean that they love her less if they did decide to not smoke that day.  Their body, their choice.  And if the smell of smoke is such a huge issue that results in the OP being bed-ridden then I don't understand how asking only these two people is going to solve anything.  She would have to ask all of her guests to not smoke and/or find a venue that prohibits smoking inside and out and spray everyone with febreeze (if that doesn't make her sick) to eliminate Andy and all odors that they may bring into the wedding.

    What I am trying to say is asking two people to not smoke is not going to solve her health problems.  Since she apparently gets sick from loads of smells even if these two women refrain from smoking doesn't guarantee that she won't get sick.

    I just think if the OP has such a serious aversion to all smells that the best thing would be to elope so she then has almost complete control over what smells are at her wedding.



    Okay, I will agree that it is unfair to only ask two out of the several dozen that do smoke that may be there. Although those two people will be more by her side than anyone besides the groom, chances are she still will run into having to smell it on other people. In that case, a smoke-free reception venue would probably be ideal at this point. If that's not able to happen, maybe talk to the place you're already having it and see if you can just make it smoke-free for a night. Good luck with everything, OP!
  • antibride2013 - UGH!! You are a doctor, of WHAT? Your statement "I am a doctor therefore do not question me" IMPERIOUS attitude is what makes people refrain from going to doctors in the first place. You come off as being a princess, sweetie.

    The OP just wants her mother and MOH to refrain from smoking for several hours on her wedding day so as not to get sick. Her love for them is not in question. 


  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2013


    BNJ810 said:

    How about because medicine constantly evolves and doctors might just have a better way of helping you after 10 years?

    Also, since now it's many many smells that cause problems then your focus on your mom and MOH smoking makes even less sense.

     

    I can't even believe I am still humoring this.  You are absolutely right.  Doctors are indeed magical people.  This time, they will absolutely know what is wrong with me and it will be more than worth it to use all my vacation days to see a lovely doctor that absolutely will see my right at my scheduled appointment time.  I know that because you have encouraged me to return to a doctor that they will automatically, as soon as I walk into their office, know just what has been happening my whole life.  Thank you so much for helping me to see the error in my silly ways.  You, my friend, are a little blessing. 

     

    It's always been "many many" smells.  This isn't something new, it's been this way the majority of my life.  Almost everyone who knows me is aware of all this weird problems and will generally avoid perfumes and things.  And yes, of course, it's because I throw a "princess" fit every time and yell and kick and scream and demand that all perfume be destroyed and anyone who wears it should be stoned to death.  One time, I actually threatened to light someone on fire for wearing it.  Or maybe they are just polite people who are willing to make changes for others.  I'm sure it's because I'm such a horrible princess though. 

    To be serious though, I think you must have missed a previous post where I mentioned that it is lots of things but the smell of cigarettes is the worst one.  It is the smell that will effect me most often.  Since I am going to be exposed to a lot of smells anyway I would like to avoid the one that I know usually causes a problem.  With my guests, I can't assume no one will be wearing any fragrance (that's completely ridiculous), but I can avoid long periods of contact with that person.  With my mother, who will be with me most of the day, and my MOH, who will be there all day plus sitting at the same table, I can't avoid them.  Nor do I want to have to.   





    I joined my daughter and her BM's when they had their hair and make up done.  They all returned to my home to get dressed.  Even with that proximity, I was not "with her" most of the day.  She was enjoying her time with her BM's.  I had other things to attend at the house.  She drove to church with her bridal party.  Other than during a blessing at church and some photos, we were far from attached at the hip.  I'm not sure what your perception regarding weddings is, but in our case, being with my daughter most of the day was far from the truth.  

    Have you considered a sweetheart table for your dinner?  That would benefit everyone.  You could enjoy a scent free dinner with your husband.  Your MOH could enjoy her meal with her SO.  

    Your biggest issue does not seem to be with the smoking, to be honest.  You seem to have a very skewed, unrealistic, and downright hostile attitude toward the medical profession.  Your priorities also seem to be a bit unbalanced.  Doctors are not gods.  And patients have an amount of personal responsibility.  More often than not, most of us need to make return visits to have medications adjusted or changed.  Most of us also need to take personal/sick/vacation time to see a doctor.  Doctors are infamous for being late.  I solve that problem by being proactive and always insist on getting the first appointment of their day, whenever possible.  

    You need to stop playing the victim card and accept some personal responsibility.  If you have washed your hands of medical treatment, so be it.  But then you cannot expect the world, and the people in it, to change to accommodate you.  
    antibride2013PrettyGirlLost
  • Jackman36- I am a Hematologist.  I am far from a princess, sweetie.  And I am sorry, when dealing with the younger "me" generation of people, it is unfortunately necessary to be very blunt about things.  You are never going to hear or get what you want all the time like a lot of parents have made this generation of kids believe.   

    OliveOilsMomMaggie0829southernbelle0915PrettyGirlLost
  • Ok OP- I AM a doctor.  From what I am reading about your "condition" and no doctor has been able to diagnose your "condition" therefore your "done with doctors", the only thing you probably have wrong with you is "princess-syndrome".  It also seems to me that the reason you are "done with doctors" is that no medical professional would play into your game and tell you what you wanted to hear so you are writing off the medical profession for not kissing your ass.

    You cannot dictate to others what they do with their bodies.  If your loved ones are smokers, they are smokers.  You accept people and love people for who they are 100% of the time.  If you love them prior to your wedding and they smoke, you love them on your wedding day the same way. 


  • Ok OP- I AM a doctor.  From what I am reading about your "condition" and no doctor has been able to diagnose your "condition" therefore your "done with doctors", the only thing you probably have wrong with you is "princess-syndrome".  It also seems to me that the reason you are "done with doctors" is that no medical professional would play into your game and tell you what you wanted to hear so you are writing off the medical profession for not kissing your ass.

    You cannot dictate to others what they do with their bodies.  If your loved ones are smokers, they are smokers.  You accept people and love people for who they are 100% of the time.  If you love them prior to your wedding and they smoke, you love them on your wedding day the same way. 


  • I think it's a little far to say don't smoke all day- I'm not a smoker, but I've heard it's very addictive. I'm sure your moms nerves will be really high so it would be nice for her to relax (I imagine) every couple hours or so.

    I would just ask them to not keep it around you. You can't change their habits. It's like saying, lose weight or cut your hair... 
    southernbelle0915
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