Down a bridesmaid

tristins_mommy

I'm down a bridesmaid but for good reason - she's pregnant and due the day before my wedding LOL. The problem is I have no other close girlfriends to fill the role. My fiance suggested that my oldest daughter fill (she's not thrilled with the idea of dressing up) in the role and the pregnant bridesmaid be mentioned as an honourary bridesmaid.

Anyone every been down this road?

MikesAngie

Oh my yes I have been down that road and then some.

At 5.5 months out from our wedding, one of my ladies had a break-up and a meltdown she then cancelled participating in the wedding but said she would be there. Long story short she was in the wedding party. Also at this time my FIL passed away.  He wanted us to proceed as planned since our wedding was a long time coming (a story for another time) 

Also at that time our officiant cancelled because she was pregnant and due on our wedding day. Her back-up was very religious and wanted to add religious inferences to our almost completed ceremony - so that was a bust.  We were lucky and found an officiant that understood our relationship and my native american heritage which was incorporated in our ceremony. 

At 4.75 months out my wedding dress is drop shipped to our home (when I specifically asked that they wait until after the Holidays to ship it and this is a MAJOR brand), To add to the insult of not listening the darned thing is sewn completely incorrectly and needed major work that they refused to cover.

Oh things just kept happening at 3.5 months out our master bathroom springs a leak to the outside of the house.  We end up having to remodel and do mold remediation which is completed 2 weeks before the wedding.  Also at this time my sister slips and falls on ice breaking her ankle and she involved me in her family drama (her husband is an a**h**e), and she doesn't think she'll be able to be in our wedding (she made it).

With the dress drama and the ladies drama at one point I was threatening to show up naked, with only two ladies in attendance.  In the end the I was fortunate the dress was altered and I wore it (didn't love it) and all of my ladies were in attendance.  I would have stuck to my original plan and been down two attendants had they decided to not participate.  It wouldn't have mattered - because in the end we were married. Yes they would have been missed, I couldn't replace them. 

There is NOTHING about having to have an equal amount of attendants on each side.  If I were you I would stick with your original plan.  If you invite someone else to stand with you late in the game they may feel like it's an after thought and be offended. 

 

ETA: The Monday before our wedding my Mom's father passed away and his funeral was the Thursday before our wedding.  

Also on the Thursday before our DJ called and said he couldn't find the processional song - We offered to send it to him he refused.  The day of the wedding he interrupts our photographers to ask me if he has the correct song... Lucky for him it was. 

None of the fiascoes were indicative of our marriage they were the bumps in the road of life, that my DH and I tackled as a team. I did vent here quite often but in the end everything turned out as our guests would say beautifully, memorable and without a hitch.

right1thistime

Skip the honorary bridesmaid thing, she can be the overdue cranky pregnant guest or the missing new mother.  

If there's no one you would replace her with - don't.  Keep who you have.  If your DD isn't interested, I wouldn't do it, it will color her view of the wedding, and could spill over so that others see it, too. 

Emmy1493

right1thistime said:

Skip the honorary bridesmaid thing, she can be the overdue cranky pregnant guest or the missing new mother.  

If there's no one you would replace her with - don't.  Keep who you have.  If your DD isn't interested, I wouldn't do it, it will color her view of the wedding, and could spill over so that others see it, too. 

Agreed. If she can still attend the wedding..great! Just don't replace her. The lady you try to replace her with might feel second best, since she wasn't chosen in the first place. Know what I mean? If your thinking of having your DD fill in and she isn't feeling it, don't force her. I would just leave the situation as is to be honest, and focus on other wedding stuff for time being.

Edit: Spelling.

photokitty

did she asked to step down? If she didn't she can still plan to be int he wedding and if she if there she's a bridesmaid. If she knows she will not be there, then she can be an honorary bridesmaid. People who are in attendance either are or aren't bridesmaids. But she might deliver early or late and still be able to be there. You could just let her pick a dress in the same color - she could even buy two, one if she is pregnant still and one smaller if she isn't and return which ever she doesn't wear. No need to replace her if she steps down entirely.   GL!

tristins_mommy

I didn't ask her to step down, she volunteered. With her being due the day before and this being her first child, she won't be making it as she also has to travel.
I like the idea of not replacing her. I starting thinking about it more and since we are going to do a photo montage, I'll include a picture of her, hopefully with a new baby.
My DD is only 10, so by the wedding, she'll probably have changed her mind lol.
Thanks guys