When your hometowns are 8000 miles apart, where do you get married?

pipeTsquared

My hometown and FIs hometown are around 8000 miles apart. 

We live in my hometown (it is where we met) and try to go back to his about 2/3 times a year (more if we can manage it)

Before we start planning this wedding properly we need to pick what country we are actually going to get married in.

If we get married here less of FI's family will be able to come (though we would pay for the flight for his parents and siblings because they need to be there)

Equally if we get married over there less of my family will be able to come (again we would pay for my siblings flights out)

Then obviously there are other family members - aunts, uncles, cousins that wouldnt be able to come (some will some wont), plus friends again some will be able to make the journey and some wont

So where ever we get married there will be people that just wont be able to come.

We just dont know

What would you do??

ktjanesmom

I would choose the place that made the most sense for myself and my groom and accept that it will not work for everyone.   

AddieCake

I am from Illinois, and my husband is from Florida. We were living in Texas when we got married, so we got married in Texas b/c it's where our lives are and it was easier for me to plan a wedding in a place I was physically in on a day-to-day basis. 

ETA: I've never done it, but I think it would be very difficult to plan a wedding in a completely different country than the one you live in, so I would definitely be leaning toward where you live now. I didn't even want to tackle it out of state, let alone out of country!

manateehugger

If I were you, I'd just plan it where you live now unless someone at home is willing to pretty much run the show for you (and you're ok with that). Who is paying for the wedding?

I understand how difficult international travel is when it comes to weddings, and that it's hard when some family wont be able to come (the majority of my family members live in India), but honestly you need to do what works best and will be less stressful. You could plan your wedding just across the state and still have people unable to make it. 

StephJean83

My FH and I live in a major city in our home State, but its neither of our hometowns. We considered and looked at venues all over the state we live in. It was easier for us to plan a wedding where we live, we decided on a venue an hour south of where we live.

Just realize wherever you have it, some people won't go for whatever reason. Like @AddieL73 said, it would easier to plan where you live.

pipeTsquared

AddieL73 said:

 I've never done it, but I think it would be very difficult to plan a wedding in a completely different country than the one you live in, so I would definitely be leaning toward where you live now. I didn't even want to tackle it out of state, let alone out of country!

Yeah I'm sure if we did it it would be really difficult

PDKH said:

If I were you, I'd just plan it where you live now unless someone at home is willing to pretty much run the show for you (and you're ok with that). Who is paying for the wedding?

We are paying for it all ourselves

FMIL (and his sisters) would be more than happy to do some parts but obviously I wouldnt want to dump too much on them.

We plan to go twice between then and the wedding but you cant plan a wedding in 2 journeys 

Hmmm

I guess if we do it here I'm in a better position to bag a deal which might mean more money in the pot for more flights for FI family

I just think I might feel selfish (if that is the right word) living in my home country plus having the wedding here (so more of my family, not 'culturally' like his etc)

manateehugger

I wouldn't feel selfish for having your own wedding (especially a wedding you are fully funding) somewhere that works best for you and your FI - or over the fact that you don't live somewhere else   (you can't exactly help that you didn't move somewhere randomly before you met your FI). I say save the money and stress, have it here, and help out with flights where you can. You are choosing what is most realistic for you and your FI on your own budget; that's not selfish.

I'm getting married here and lots of my cousins have been married here or in the UK instead of India. It's just how it goes sometimes, especially with mixed culture marriages. If your FI is ok with it, I think it's a fine decision. 

melbelleup

I'm getting married in my hometown, but we're only 500 miles away.

ETA: My reasoning however is because if I don't, no one will attend my wedding that I want there including uncles, aunts, grandparents on both mine and his side.

I do agree with others to do it where you currently live because you can't really plan a country away where I can plan 8 hrs away.

AddieCake

It's definitely not selfish; it's being practical. Sure some people will be inconvenienced or unable to attend. However, that's going to be true no matter what you do, and I know as a guest I would definitely understand that it makes more sense for a bride and groom to plan a wedding where they are currently living. Those who DON'T understand that would be the selfish ones. Best of luck in your planning!

MissMWood

I an Australian and my FH is Canadian. We currently live in Australia and have decided to get married in Hawaii. It makes it fair for both of us, and all our VIP's are cool with it!

thejucheidea

I'd get married where you live -- it'll be a LOT easier.

zitiqueen

Las Vegas.

Belthil

I was got married in Canada and planned it while going to school in the US. It was stressful at times but what made it easier was the fact that I was traveling to the city we got married 8-9 times a year because it's where H and our families lived. If H was living with me in the US we would've gotten married there.