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Wedding Party

Bachelorette/Lingerie Party with underage bridesmaids?

missallieeeeemissallieeeee member
First Comment
edited December 2013 in Wedding Party
I am a young bride, getting married a couple months after turning 21. My bridesmaids will be 23, 20, 19 and 18 on my wedding day and I'd like to have a Bachelorette/Lingerie party the weekend before. I am also including my honorary bridesmaids and close girlfriends in the B/L party who range in age from 20-21 (So some of my friends can legally drink and some cannot.) My issue is finding a place to hold this event. I want to be able to go out and drink and have a good time (my underage friends are okay with not drinking/being DDs), but I am concerned that most of the bars in town are 21+. I realize we could simply have the party (especially the lingerie segment) at a friends house but I was just trying to think of fun things to do beforehand (i.e. karaoke/live entertainment) that won't cost the girls an arm and a leg as most of my friends are college students on a budget.
Any ideas for fun and entertaining bachelorette/lingerie parties with under 21 guests? I want it to be fun for all, especially because my 23 year old sister recently complained about a bachelorette weekend she attended recently that was "boring" and begged me to make sure mine was more fun. Any ideas would be appreciated! 

**Note: My friends and I are not huge into the getting drunk/stripper nonsense...but we do want to have fun.***

Re: Bachelorette/Lingerie Party with underage bridesmaids?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2013
    Is your 23 year old sister complaining that an alcohol free bachelorette was boring?  She needs to suck it up and accept that because the majority of your bridesmaids aren't legally old enough to drink, it isn't possible to have yours at a bar or any place that is off limits to people under 21.

    As for what to do, I'd ask your bridesmaids what they think would be fun and see if there's something that would appeal to all of them.
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited December 2013
    I am a young bride, getting married a couple months after turning 21. My bridesmaids will be 23, 20, 19 and 18 on my wedding day and I'd like to have a Bachelorette/Lingerie party the weekend before. I am also including my honorary bridesmaids and close girlfriends in the B/L party who range in age from 20-21 (So some of my friends can legally drink and some cannot.) My issue is finding a place to hold this event. I want to be able to go out and drink and have a good time (my underage friends are okay with not drinking/being DDs), but I am concerned that most of the bars in town are 21+. I realize we could simply have the party (especially the lingerie segment) at a friends house but I was just trying to think of fun things to do beforehand (i.e. karaoke/live entertainment) that won't cost the girls an arm and a leg as most of my friends are college students on a budget.
    Any ideas for fun and entertaining bachelorette/lingerie parties with under 21 guests? I want it to be fun for all, especially because my 23 year old sister recently complained about a bachelorette weekend she attended recently that was "boring" and begged me to make sure mine was more fun. Any ideas would be appreciated! 

    **Note: My friends and I are not huge into the getting drunk/stripper nonsense...but we do want to have fun.***
    Ditto PDKH. 
    image
  • missallieeeeemissallieeeee member
    First Comment
    edited December 2013
    PDKH said:
    PLEASE don't call them honorary bridesmaids. That's a way of saying "I love you and want you to fawn over me and my wedding, but you aren't good enough to be a bridesmaid." Seriously, I guarantee you that "title" makes them feel like shit. They are either bridesmaids or honored guests. 

    You shouldn't be planning your own bachelorette party anyway. That party is a gift given to you by someone else. Has someone offered to host it?

    Otherwise, there are tons of fun activities you can do without walking into a bar. Go out to eat, go to a spa, go to a sporting event, a concert, get a hotel room and do a slumber party. 
    I have already asked them to be "honorary bridesmaids" and they were all psyched. There is a distinct separation between my 4 bridesmaids and my 10 honorary bridesmaids that is not offensive to them in the slightest. Trust me, I know my friends. 

    My MOH is planning and "hosting" the party but lives in another state. The majority of the party guests, however, live here in my town, so we are having the party here. The problem is that my friend is not familiar with this area and is not friends with most of the guests so I am trying to come up with ideas for her. 
  • What is an honorary bridesmaid?
  • I am confused. Are you planning this party? Because it sounds like you are. You know you aren't supposed to throw your own bachelorette party right?

    If your MOH is planning the party then let her plan it.  There is this great invention called the internet where you can find pretty much anything you need as well as reviews and recommendations for great restaurants and bars.

    And the only time having honorary bridesmaids is appropriate is if the BM died.
    This. All of it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • MalMondo1020MalMondo1020 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2013

    Why is it that all of you keep getting hung up on the 'honorary bridesmaid' BS?! She asked for some suggestions for a bachelorette party that can still be fun with underage bridesmaids. Let's stick to the point.

    A karaoke bar might be fun, because most allow guests under 21 in the bar area up until they stop serving food (which could be 11 or 12pm, depending on the place). There's quite a few near where I live, and they're fun:) Even if you can't sing.

    The only other thing I can think of would be a spa day or something along those lines.

    If you want your Maid of Honor to plan and have the day be a surprise for you, you could write a list of things you'd most like to do, and things that might not work out for all of your guests, and then let her choose from there. That way it will still be a fun surprise for you too.

    Chelsi821
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Why is it that all of you keep getting hung up on the 'honorary bridesmaid' BS?! She asked for some suggestions for a bachelorette party that can still be fun with underage bridesmaids. Let's stick to the point.

    A karaoke bar might be fun, because most allow guests under 21 in the bar area up until they stop serving food (which could be 11 or 12pm, depending on the place). There's quite a few near where I live, and they're fun:) Even if you can't sing.

    The only other thing I can think of would be a spa day or something along those lines.

    If you want your Maid of Honor to plan and have the day be a surprise for you, you could write a list of things you'd most like to do, and things that might not work out for all of your guests, and then let her choose from there. That way it will still be a fun surprise for you too.

    Because having honorary BMs is bullshit.  Either have them be BMs or not.  Honorary is basically a way to tier your friends.  She is saying "I like you guys and all but just not enough to make you true BMs but I still want you all to do everything that BMs are 'supposed' to do just without he recognition." How is that for a kick in the ass?
    In addition to what Maggie said, we will offer advice from an etiquette standpoint on these boards.  We want you to have a great event!  We also want you to keep your friends after your wedding is over with.  Tiering friends, the way the OP is doing, is sure to put hurt feelings in the minds of the "honorary BMs".  Some of which may feel they don't want to deal with OP anymore due to her rude actions and they stop being friends with her and begin distancing themselves. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    What will the honorary bridesmaids do in the wedding? As for the party, what kinds of things do you LIKE to do?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • I recently planned a BP for a bride who did not drink. I asked her FI what they like to do on Saturday nights (or if he had any ideas of what she might like) and he gave me these ideas:

    1. comedy show
    2. spa day
    3. slumber party at a hotel with games
    4. casino (where I live, you only have to be 18 to go)
    5. concert

    We ended up getting a hotel room and meeting there around noon. One girl got there early and decorated the room - no penis stuff, but streamers, balloons, and a cute banner that said "He put a ring on it." We went to the spa and each spent about $80 for a massage (and treated the bride of course). For those who could not afford the $80, they got their nails done which was $15. We went back to the hotel room, all got ready together (some people drank, some did not), and then went out to dinner. We stopped by the casino where they had live entertainment. Again, some people had wine, some people did not. After that, we went back to the hotel room and played games, listened to music and talked about the wedding! And honestly, that was the best part of the night.

    I believe we each ended up spending about $150 (some spent more at the bar). Of course, I spoke to each BM privately to ask if this would fit within their budget. If you think this is too much, you could skip the spa and do nails/mud masks or something in the hotel room.

    I do hope that you aren't planning your own party. Maybe you can let your MOH know about these boards and she can pop over for some ideas?
    jenna8984
  • If you want something cheap that everyone can enjoy, first, drop the lingerie shower part. You do not need to be showered with lingerie. And then I'd probably do dinner someplace fun and casual, and if there are absolutely no bars, what about bowling? Or paint your own pottery? Or renting a karaoke machine for someone's house? Or a rom com movie night? What do you usually do for fun with your 47.5 pseudo bridesmaids?
  • Why is it that all of you keep getting hung up on the 'honorary bridesmaid' BS?!

    I just asked what an honorary bridesmaid is.  I honestly don't know.  Is this a regional thing?
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    Find a restaurant or sports bar that allows drinking, but also allows underage people because it's considered a restaurant, not a bar... like Applebee's or Chili's.  That way the older group can drink and have fun while the underage girls can munch and just hang out.  There are a lot of bars/restaurants that don't card when you go in... they only card when ordering drinks. Or a lot of bars allow underage people in up until a certain time, then change to 21+ only.  So call around to see which places you may be able to go to earlier in the evening.

    Comedy club is a good idea because it also will usually allow both age groups. 

    Spa day, like others have mentioned.  It could be done with wine also.  But, it sounds like that's not the atmosphere you are looking for.

    One year for prom we rented a limo and just rode around town in it all night... it was a lot of fun (especially since one of the girls did bring alcohol).  That would allow people the option of drinking or not without having to worry about who is driving. 

    You could always do something fun early on that doesn't involve drinking.  Or drink early, then go out for non-alcoholic fun, then go back to drinking later.  How about doing some activities that you may have done as a kid, like going roller skating or ice skating or something like that.  These may be a bit dangerous if you are wasted, but they can still be fun as an adult and bring you back to your childhood a bit.

    Set up a scavenger hunt type thing around town.

    One year for work x-mas party they took us to do a private culinary class where we made our dinner.  Wine was included while we cooked and with the meal. Some of the employees were underage, so it allowed everyone to have fun with the option of drinking or not. Then we got a good meal afterward.  It was a lot of fun and I think it would be great for something like that.

    What do you underage friends normally do for fun?  Why don't you go out to where they normally go?

     

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