Pre-wedding Parties

Should I invite her?

I used to nanny for a family that has 4 kids ages 9 and under. I worked for them for 4.5 years, and left them for a new job a little over a year ago. I've seen them *maybe* twice since then. They obviously got to know me pretty well and vice versa, and they also got to know my now-FI well too. My wedding is end of October 2014.

I ran into the mother at the mall the other day, and she noticed the ring so our discussion eventually turned to the wedding. She knows that both FI and I have large families, and said something along the lines of, "I know we won't be invited to the wedding, but I'd love to go to the shower to celebrate you and FI. So please let me know when that starts getting planned."

I know you're only supposed to invite a person to a shower if they're invited to the wedding, but does that still stand when someone wants/asks to go to the shower and they know not to expect a wedding invite? It would be nice to have her at the shower, but I don't want to be rude!  :)

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Re: Should I invite her?

  • She was being polite and letting you know that she would not be offended if you could not invite her to the wedding.  You have to be polite and not invite her to the shower if she is not invited to the wedding. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'm afraid it would still be rude.  You can only invite her to the shower if you invite her to the wedding-even if she says she's fine with being invited to the shower only.
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