Registering and Gifts

"But we just need money" - Same, but because we're moving to a new continent.

So I'm reviewing everyone's response to the poster who asked about how to/if she can ask for just money "in a cute way" instead of registries. Everyone seemed to confirm what I suspected - that it's never okay to ask for money, it's best just to register for a few small things and let people assume money would be most useful. 

My fiancé and I are in the same boat, but instead of already having everything we need, we're trying to get rid of most of our stuff, as we're moving from the Midwest to London, perhaps indefinitely. What would actually be very helpful are IKEA giftcards, since there are locations both here and where we're moving. Is there any way to ask for this? Do all the same rules apply in our situation too? 

Thanks in advance for your insight! 

Re: "But we just need money" - Same, but because we're moving to a new continent.

  • ekb10 said:
    So I'm reviewing everyone's response to the poster who asked about how to/if she can ask for just money "in a cute way" instead of registries. Everyone seemed to confirm what I suspected - that it's never okay to ask for money, it's best just to register for a few small things and let people assume money would be most useful. 

    My fiancé and I are in the same boat, but instead of already having everything we need, we're trying to get rid of most of our stuff, as we're moving from the Midwest to London, perhaps indefinitely. What would actually be very helpful are IKEA giftcards, since there are locations both here and where we're moving. Is there any way to ask for this? Do all the same rules apply in our situation too? 

    Thanks in advance for your insight! 
    Yes same rules apply.  Just don't register and have it spread word of mouth that you are moving. 
    Blue_Birdsouthernbelle0915doeydo
  • AprilH81AprilH81 Columbus, OH
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Unfortunately the same rules apply.  

    Don't register, spread via word of mouth that you are moving to London and put something on your website about "We can't wait to find an apartment in London and start our life together".  Again, mention the move on the website but NOT about wanting IKEA gift cards/cash.
    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
    MNVegasdoeydo
  • Honestly, if people know you are moving to London they won't buy you stuff except for (maybe) nice suitcases.  You might want to register for linens as well - I've read that nice linens are ridiculously expensive over there, and it's best to bring those with you.

    But other than that, just put a thing on your wedding website about your future plans - "we're moving to London!  Wheeee!" and then people will get the hint.

    And I wouldn't give gift cards to IKEA, ever.  It's not a store that everybody likes because their furniture is basically disposable.  I can't believe I am saying this, but I would give you cash before gift cards to Ikea... and cash is much more practical overall.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    jessicabessicaLiatris2010
  • My FH and I live near London but will be having our wedding in Canada (where I'm from). We have people throwing us a shower and those who have flat out told us that they want to buy us gifts even though we are making it clear that we don't expect them. Ideally we'd just like money however we are registering with a couple department stores here (John Lewis is the big one for registries here) and asking that if people buy gifts that they do it through them and have the shop send it to us. If you have friends or family living here, you might be able to do that and have the gifts sent to their address for storage until you arrive.

    Gift cards aren't great as most of the time they are in whatever currency and often not transferable between countries (although ikea might allow this... I'm not sure). It would be a shame if people bought them and then you couldn't use them.

    I would think word of mouth is a good idea and any real gifts that you do get, look into shipping companies to see deals you could get to ship stuff overseas. Just be sure not to bring over electrical items as even if you have an adapter. the voltage is different and this can cause problems.
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    US Ikea gift cards do not work at the UK Ikea store. As stated above, you could register at John Lewis (the UK equivalent of Macy's) and have it sent to a UK address.

    I agree with above posters, just do not register. Everyone will get the hint. This also means that you need to decline all showers that are offered as these are for boxed gifts only. 

  • hoffse said:
    Honestly, if people know you are moving to London they won't buy you stuff except for (maybe) nice suitcases.  You might want to register for linens as well - I've read that nice linens are ridiculously expensive over there, and it's best to bring those with you.

    But other than that, just put a thing on your wedding website about your future plans - "we're moving to London!  Wheeee!" and then people will get the hint.

    And I wouldn't give gift cards to IKEA, ever.  It's not a store that everybody likes because their furniture is basically disposable.  I can't believe I am saying this, but I would give you cash before gift cards to Ikea... and cash is much more practical overall.
    This. Your friends aren't idiots, they'll realize that moving a ton of wedding gifts abroad isn't practical.
    image
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    We chose not to register because we didn't need anything. In the end we got about 75 percent cash /checks, 20 percent gift cards and 5 percent physical boxed gifts, that were randomly but lovingly selected by our guests. If people ask tell them you are saving up for your move. People will get the idea :) GL!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • US Ikea gift cards do not work at the UK Ikea store. As stated above, you could register at John Lewis (the UK equivalent of Macy's) and have it sent to a UK address.

    I agree with above posters, just do not register. Everyone will get the hint. This also means that you need to decline all showers that are offered as these are for boxed gifts only. 


    Wow -- okay this is very good to know ... thank you so much everyone! 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    I agree-don't register.

    I don't think etiquette requires you to decline showers if you're not registering (the two are not linked in etiquette) but if you don't want to receive boxed gifts, then it makes sense not to have one.
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Jen4948 said:
    I agree-don't register.

    I don't think etiquette requires you to decline showers if you're not registering (the two are not linked in etiquette) but if you don't want to receive boxed gifts, then it makes sense not to have one.
    Yes, I agree they are not necessarily etiquette linked, but you should not have a shower unless you want boxed gifts (where it is your responsibility to ship them to the UK, not your guests). I was saying it is rude to have a shower and only ask for cash or gifts.
  • I'm with PPs, you shouldn't say that you want cash/gift cards but can decline a shower and not register.  People should get the hint.  

    My family lived in Israel last year and I thought I could get them an IKEA gift card (pay over the phone and have it mailed to them) - they cannot transfer currency (or couldn't 6 months ago) between countries.
  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    I would suggest registering for a few smaller things at IKEA (do you have an address in London they could be shipped to ahead of time?), and nothing else.  Lots of people will get the hint and either give you IKEA gift cards or money.
    image
  • This may not be proper etiquette, but if there are certain IKEA items you do want, you could register for them (especially if you are doing a shower), return them when you get them, then pick them up when you get to London. The price may vary slightly though when you get them in London.

    BB&B lets you do this (you don't even have to rebuy, they just call the other store of your choice and tell them you are coming), which is nice if people actually bring the boxed gift to an out of town wedding. It saves on shipping costs a lot. I'm flying to my shower, and my mom is going to drive down with most of the boxed gifts when she comes for the wedding, but for the BB&B gifts she can just drop them at the store by her house, and I can pick the same thing up at the store across the street from me. We don't know if we'll need to do this yet, depends on how full the car is, but it's a nice option.

  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    kgd7357 said:

    This may not be proper etiquette, but if there are certain IKEA items you do want, you could register for them (especially if you are doing a shower), return them when you get them, then pick them up when you get to London. The price may vary slightly though when you get them in London.

    BB&B lets you do this (you don't even have to rebuy, they just call the other store of your choice and tell them you are coming), which is nice if people actually bring the boxed gift to an out of town wedding. It saves on shipping costs a lot. I'm flying to my shower, and my mom is going to drive down with most of the boxed gifts when she comes for the wedding, but for the BB&B gifts she can just drop them at the store by her house, and I can pick the same thing up at the store across the street from me. We don't know if we'll need to do this yet, depends on how full the car is, but it's a nice option.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing this. :) It is excellent advice, just make sure the IKEA credit can be used oversees before going this route.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • ekb10 said:
    So I'm reviewing everyone's response to the poster who asked about how to/if she can ask for just money "in a cute way" instead of registries. Everyone seemed to confirm what I suspected - that it's never okay to ask for money, it's best just to register for a few small things and let people assume money would be most useful. 

    My fiancé and I are in the same boat, but instead of already having everything we need, we're trying to get rid of most of our stuff, as we're moving from the Midwest to London, perhaps indefinitely. What would actually be very helpful are IKEA giftcards, since there are locations both here and where we're moving. Is there any way to ask for this? Do all the same rules apply in our situation too? 

    Thanks in advance for your insight! 
    I agree with PP's, never ask for money and or GC's just don't register. Also most people you know should be aware of your move. When people are aware of this they will not give you gifts.

    Side story: My SIL's cousin is moving to London in March. Clearly she and her DH have been packing now and shipping things they don't need to London. They recently received a 6 foot giraffe from London as a gift to their young son. 

    There will always be that 1 person (if you're lucky) who won't consider what works best for you and will do whatever they want. Now my SIL's cousin has to bring a 6 foot giraffe back to London with her. SMH.
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