Wedding party accommodations

fungrl97

We were discussing wedding budget with FI's parents this past weekend.  They have offered a number of times to help financially and FI keeps shrugging it off.  He did ask if they'd like to do the rehearsal dinner, which they said they would; but they would also like to help more.  This past weekend they said they'd like to pay for hotel rooms for his side of the bridal party - which is a very generous and much appreciated offer and something we would have loved to do but just didn't fit into our budget.  So we agreed that that would be wonderful.
He has 5 adults on his side and his parents have offered to pay for a hotel for 2 nights for each of them - this will add up quickly so we don't want to ask any more of them!  I have one attendant on my side who will need a hotel room, so I've decided that I'd cover hers such that everyone is getting the same level of treatment here.
However, we're unsure of when his side might plan a bachelor party for him?  The wedding is on a saturday morning and the rehearsal dinner will be friday afternoon.  I'm thinking of doing something like a manicure thing for the girls (4 of his attendents are women) on both sides on friday morning.  The only time that weekend that they could do a bachelor party would be thursday night.  If some of his attendants wind up staying for 3 nights, how might we address the money issue?  Should my FI and I pay the extra for the 3rd night or should we let everyone on his side know that we'll just be covering 2 nights and let them decide what to do for the 3rd? 

hlvonb

@fungrl97

I personally would let them know that you have arranged to have 2 nights at the hotel covered for them and let them decide what they want to do for the 3rd night. If they were already expecting to have to pay for a hotel already, paying for 1 night out of their pocket should not be an issue. You, your FI and his parents have been very generous already with paying for 2 nights. It is an issue of budget and if you can avoid going over budget too much, then avoid it. 

OliveOilsMom

fungrl97 said:

We were discussing wedding budget with FI's parents this past weekend.  They have offered a number of times to help financially and FI keeps shrugging it off.  He did ask if they'd like to do the rehearsal dinner, which they said they would; but they would also like to help more.  This past weekend they said they'd like to pay for hotel rooms for his side of the bridal party - which is a very generous and much appreciated offer and something we would have loved to do but just didn't fit into our budget.  So we agreed that that would be wonderful.
He has 5 adults on his side and his parents have offered to pay for a hotel for 2 nights for each of them - this will add up quickly so we don't want to ask any more of them!  I have one attendant on my side who will need a hotel room, so I've decided that I'd cover hers such that everyone is getting the same level of treatment here.
However, we're unsure of when his side might plan a bachelor party for him?  The wedding is on a saturday morning and the rehearsal dinner will be friday afternoon.  I'm thinking of doing something like a manicure thing for the girls (4 of his attendents are women) on both sides on friday morning.  The only time that weekend that they could do a bachelor party would be thursday night.  If some of his attendants wind up staying for 3 nights, how might we address the money issue?  Should my FI and I pay the extra for the 3rd night or should we let everyone on his side know that we'll just be covering 2 nights and let them decide what to do for the 3rd? 

This is very generous of FILs and I'm glad you are helping out your attendant to keep it fair for everyone.  I would send a group email to all that FILs have decided to cover the hotel rooms for Friday and Saturday nights for all WP members.  This way, they will know that they would need to book themselves for Thursday night, if they decide to come this early into town.  Ask FILs to tell you when they have made the bookings, so that the WP can call the hotel directly and add on an extra night with their own cc - doing it this way should prevent them from having a room change mid-stay.  To perhaps make it easiest, offer FILs the cash for your attendants 2 nights at the hotel, so that they can just book all members of the WP's hotel rooms at the same time.