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Mother in Law Stress!

Ok I'm curious if this is only happening to me. If it's happening to you to I'm so sorry and I feel your pain. Ok so my future Mother In Law has stayed out of the wedding planning entirely because well she doesn't like me because her son is her only child which is understandable. Now we have 95 days left to go until the wedding and suddenly she's calling me two times a day with demanding questions and ideas about what "she would do" for the wedding. Seriously?? I mean why bother trying to take over now when I'm literally 85% done!! She's been upset because we don't need help paying for anything including the rehearsal dinner. Who's being invited and why not everyone in her family is allowed to go, which is because we both have big families and our venue doesn't hold a lot of people because we wanted to keep it small. Oh and she's also upset that the guest list isn't bigger because we need to make sure we get as much gifts and money that we can because we "need to milk this wedding!" Oh my goodness. Do you understand why she's stressing me out? My skin's been breaking out because of the stress she's causing and I'm really trying to have clear skin for the big day. If you have any advice on how to deal with this type of Mother in Law or have a similar experience please feel free to share it. Thanks for reading. 

Re: Mother in Law Stress!

  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear Arkham Asylum member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Well you could start by not picking up the phone when she calls.  If I were you I'd just avoid talking to her about the wedding, either by not picking up the phone or changing the subject when she starts pestering you.  Really, she's not paying for it and it's not her wedding, so she doesn't need to be involved in any of the planning, especially when she's not even helping, just making you stressed.
    You could also just have your FI answer the phone when she calls.  I mean, it is his mom, so between the two of you if anyone's going to be able to get her to back off, it'll be him.  She's going to listen to him a lot more than she's going to listen to you.  
    As for the skin breaking out, have you tried using baking soda as a scrub?  It helps clear up skin without drying you out (which is why a lot of acne products don't work- they dry out your skin, causing you to produce more oils to compensate).  Also, witch hazel is anti-inflammatory so it'll help bring down any redness. Those two products have always done wonders for me when I have breakouts.  
    image
  • Ok I'm curious if this is only happening to me. If it's happening to you to I'm so sorry and I feel your pain. Ok so my future Mother In Law has stayed out of the wedding planning entirely because well she doesn't like me because her son is her only child which is understandable. Now we have 95 days left to go until the wedding and suddenly she's calling me two times a day with demanding questions and ideas about what "she would do" for the wedding. Seriously?? I mean why bother trying to take over now when I'm literally 85% done!! She's been upset because we don't need help paying for anything including the rehearsal dinner. Who's being invited and why not everyone in her family is allowed to go, which is because we both have big families and our venue doesn't hold a lot of people because we wanted to keep it small. Oh and she's also upset that the guest list isn't bigger because we need to make sure we get as much gifts and money that we can because we "need to milk this wedding!" Oh my goodness. Do you understand why she's stressing me out? My skin's been breaking out because of the stress she's causing and I'm really trying to have clear skin for the big day. If you have any advice on how to deal with this type of Mother in Law or have a similar experience please feel free to share it. Thanks for reading. 

     

    What is your FI's reaction to how she's behaving?


  • Let you FI handle it. Step to the left and keep it moving. 

  • I would stop answering her calls and if she asks wedding related questions in her voicemail, have your FI follow up with her. Just make sure you two agree on what he plans to say.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Let her calls go to voice mail and have your FI be the one to return them.  Get on the same page about what he says, which should be something along the lines of "Thanks, Mom, we appreciate your concern, but SakuraBuruma and I have figured out what we want to do and are setting it up.  Please don't worry about it."
  • I want to say thank you for all of the suggestions!!! It means a lot. I will definitely let my FI take over talking to her because he should be able to make her understand that everything is finalized and it's to late to change things. I feel so much better after reading your replies. Thank you ladies! ^_^
    southernbelle0915
  • Hi there. You are not the only one... I am having problems with the FMIL too trying to be in control. Its like if she can't control one thing she tries to move on to the next and now it's trying to be in control of what her grand daughters (Fiance's nieces) are wearing as bridesmaid dresses. I think the other ladies are right, do not discuss anything wedding related with her. Tell her what time.. what day everything will be held and don't tell her about your plans. Let her son deal with her.

    SakuraBuruma
  • I feel you on FMIL issues.. Stay strong girl. Don't let it drive you crazy. 
    SakuraBuruma
  • Whatever you do, DO NOT stop answering her phone calls....you think she doesn't like you now, it will only get worse if you ignore her. Have your fiance deal with her, but gently! All it takes is killing her with kindness. If you show that you value her opinion by saying "that's a good idea, but we've already got it finalized" shell take it a lot better than you just ignoring her opinion.
    My fmil is the same way. She won't do anything until you plan it in a way she doesn't like, then she has to jump all over it to make it go her way.
    Never forget that it is your day and she can't change anything you don't want her to!

    Good luck!
    SakuraBuruma
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