Attire & Accessories Forum

Required attire for guests

I wanted to get your take on this since I haven't seen this before.  I just got invited to a wedding where the invite says that the guests are required to wear 1920's-style attired because the theme of the wedding Great Gatsby.  I get that its kind of a costume-party request but I think its sort of obnoxious to tell guests that this is "required".  Am I getting annoyed for no reason?  Thoughts?

Re: Required attire for guests

  • Uh, what? What a rude request! Not to mention stupid. It's super rude to tell people some kind of clothing is "required" unless it's actually required (e.g. jacket at a country club). 

    I would not honor this request unless you're excited about it and want to. Wearing something you already have is perfectly acceptable. What are they going to do? Kick you out? *eyeroll*
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    flojo973TeddiD34doeydo
  • I find the request a little off-putting.  The only wedding I attended that mentioned a 'dress code' was one that the reception was a masquerade.  I forget their wording on the invite, but costumes were encouraged and they had box of costumes -- and if guests were not comfortable with that regular wedding attire was fine too.


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    Anniversary
  • I would be annoyed because I would have to shop for something to wear.   Does it actually say "required"? 
    doeydo
  • I would find the most modern thing in my closet and wear that.

    It is rude to request or ask or even state the type of dress preferred on a wedding invitation.

    shaylagirldoeydotinaisodd
  • It's rude that it says "required," but we love theme parties so we'd probably go all out.
  • Yeah, its rude to put requirements on guests attire.  If you want to do that, I could see maybe saying that the wedding is a Great Gatsy theme and state that guests are "encouraged" to participate in the fun and dress in 1920's fashion, but any wedding appropriate attire is fine. 

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    MrsDeRuyter87shamrock789
  • so rude she could have put 1920s themed wedding wear what you want or come dressed vintage

    i have seen black tie optional on invites but thats about it
  • I would be sending a decline RSVP in a heartbeat.  I am sorry - I am not wasting my money on a costume (one time wear) for someone's wedding.  I'll send a gift and call it good.
  • That's incredibly tacky and rude. A simple google of "Wedding Invitation Etiquette" says as much. Had she spent even a second researching (or caring), she would have known better.
  • so rude she could have put 1920s themed wedding wear what you want or come dressed vintage

    i have seen black tie optional on invites but thats about it
    I personally hate this, It is either black tie or it isn't....

    southernbelle0915
  • 16maybeless16maybeless member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2013
    I have been invited to two weddings in the past two years that included requests to dress a certain way. The first one was a Halloween wedding, and it was spread via word-of-mouth that costumes could be worn, if guests wanted to. So it was optional, did not annoy me, and I wore a cocktail dress.

    The second wedding, though, annoyed me. They requested that all guests wear purple or purple accents. On the invite. Including men. With a reminder not to wear white.

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  • The second wedding, though, annoyed me. They requested that all guests wear purple or purple accents. On the invite. Including men. With a reminder not to wear white.

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    WHAT??!!
  • Pick a simle dress you already have (little black dress maybe). Accessorize and style your hair to fit the 1920 feel. "Required" is rude. "Optional", "Preferred", or even "Requested" would have been more appropiate. If you really want to be rude back, which I don't suggest, pick the cheapest, goddiest looking 1920's costume you can find. She can't say anything since she required 1920's.
  • Decline the rude invitation.
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  • Not only is it rude, but 1920s style (especially for women) are pretty specific and not something everyone has in their wardrobe.  This is my personally opinion, but I tend to think women need to be ridiculously thin with little definition (breasts, waist, hips) to pull off a 20s style dress -- so, it's not even a good look on most women.
  • Rude.  I would either go along with it (if I wanted to) or decline, if I did not.  I would not show up wearing something else, because even though it was rude to "require" particular clothing, I think it's just as rude to purposely do something that would upset the B & G, even if they had no right to ask such a thing in the first place.  I wouldn't consider it rude to decline the invitation, and I would still send a gift.
    japrincess24
  • jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2013
    Putting "required" on the invitation was rude but personally I love the 1920s and this is something I would have a lot of fun with. If you're not into it then just wear what you were planning on wearing in the first place. I don't at all agree with the PPs who are saying you should wear the most modern thing you can find or that you should decline the invitation because of that. IMO that would petty and childish.
    japrincess24
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