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Wedding Party

Bridal Party Addition

I'm sure people will yell at me for this one-

I asked my bridesmaids to be in my party a long time ago (I'm having about a 2 year engagement), but because I didn't want a large bridal party I chose to leave off a friend whom I've known for a shorter amount of time than the ladies I asked. The girl mentioned she was hurt and actually asked to be an attendant. I said I was happy to have her included but I didn't want her to feel obligated since I felt weird having an attendant. Well, its been a long time since I asked people but her and I have remained close and I decided to ask her to join the wedding party. I told her I should've done it from the start and apologized. She said yes, which I love. Am I horrible for asking her to be an addition?


Re: Bridal Party Addition

  • Generally, that's why people are advised to wait until about 9 months before the wedding to ask bridesmaids, since relationships changed. That being said my fiancé added on a groomsman about 2 months after he asked his other groomsman. This was also a very new friend, so he originally wasn't sure if he should ask. As long as both you and your friend are happy, that's all that matters.
    southernbelle0915
  • Generally, that's why people are advised to wait until about 9 months before the wedding to ask bridesmaids, since relationships changed. That being said my fiancé added on a groomsman about 2 months after he asked his other groomsman. This was also a very new friend, so he originally wasn't sure if he should ask. As long as both you and your friend are happy, that's all that matters.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I don't think having done this is so terrible. It's not like you replaced someone else with her; you simply added her AND you realized you should have done so from the start and apologized for your mistake. Don't sweat it. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Jen4948KeptInStitchestabathafaye
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    AddieL73 said:
    I don't think having done this is so terrible. It's not like you replaced someone else with her; you simply added her AND you realized you should have done so from the start and apologized for your mistake. Don't sweat it. 


    I agree with Addie.  You added her and you apologized for not having asked her from the beginning.  Not only that, she accepted your apology.
  • rikysegalrikysegal member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2013
    I think I just feel bad because I see all these posts about people saying how rude it is and such to add someone late. I know I should've asked her to begin with so i'm glad she accepted. 
  • I don't think it's bad. You didn't replace anyone with her. You just added another person. You apologized and moved on. It's all good. Don't feel bad.
  • Once again, I am reading a post from a kind, considerate bride!  What a wonderful person you are and are due for a very happy life.  Stop second guessing and enjoy the moment.  The new BM is happy, you are happy, go spread the happiness.
  • I was asked to be an add on twice. 

    The first one was 7 years ago and I was young and realized I was asked because another GM was asked so they needed to match sides lol. I should have been offended maybe but I wasn't. It was Hubby's brother's wedding and we were only dating less then year at that point and the bride wanted to wait a little bit to make sure we were serious. I was just excited to be such a part of the big day (I became so much closer with the family from that event!)

    The 2nd time was last year for my bestfriends wedding. She has so many friends that she decided to keep it family only in the WP to avoid hurt feelings. My feelings were a little hurt but I understood! I still helped her with planning and ideas and just someone to talk to. When we went wedding dress shopping (myself, MOB and FMIL) we found her dress the first try! Then she wanted to look at BM dresses and asked me to try a few on to see how they looked with the dress. That was too much for me, and I explained that I couldn't do that (that I understood why I wasn't a BM but it was hurtful to ask me to try on dresses that I wouldn't get to wear!). This look of realization came over her face and she dropped it immediately. The next week at work I got an edible arrangement bouquet delivered with the kindest sweetest note asking me to be a BM and to forgive her for asking so late! Again, it was late.... but I didn't care I was so excited to be a part of her special day!

    So my point...? lol As long as both of you are happy then its all good!!!
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