Ceremony and reception separate?

[Deleted User]

I found the perfect place for a reception, but it will only hold 150 people max, and there's more people that I want to invite.  So I was thinking of having a separate invitations for ceremony and reception, and thus allow for a larger ceremony, with refreshments served afterwards for all guests.  The reception would be smaller at a different location.  Is this a breach of etiquette? 

manateehugger

juliehambridge said:

I found the perfect place for a reception, but it will only hold 150 people max, and there's more people that I want to invite.  So I was thinking of having a separate invitations for ceremony and reception, and thus allow for a larger ceremony, with refreshments served afterwards for all guests.  The reception would be smaller at a different location.  Is this a breach of etiquette? 

Yes, this is a huge breach of etiquette. This is called a tiered reception and is considered very rude. All your guests come to watch your ceremony in the same way, they all deserved to be thanked at the reception the same way. 

You either need to cut your guest list off at 150 and use your dream venue, or you keep venue hunting so you can accommodate everyone equally. 

AddieCake

That would be incredibly rude.

JellyBean52513

This is not ok, OP. Just think of the feelings you will hurt when people find out they weren't good enough to make the 150 cut. Keep looking, I'm sure you can find another venue that's perfect and can hold all of your guests. Consider what it is that the 150-max venue has to offer that you love, and have that be the guiding factor(s) in your search for a bigger venue.

climbingsingle

Tiered receptions are rude and tacky. If you want more people, you need to find a different venue. Or only invite 150 people.

Liatris2010

Yes. If a venue won't hold all of your guests, it isn't the perfect venue.
Imagine how awkward it will be when one of the guests invited to the reception mentions it while making small talk to one of the people not invited. Do you think that person is going to feel very nice about only being invited to part of the wedding? All of your guests must be hosted the same way, no special party for your favorites. If you won't miss them at the reception, then you won't miss them at the ceremony. Cut your guest list to 150 or find a bigger venue.

banana468

juliehambridge said:

I found the perfect place for a reception, but it will only hold 150 people max, and there's more people that I want to invite.  So I was thinking of having a separate invitations for ceremony and reception, and thus allow for a larger ceremony, with refreshments served afterwards for all guests.  The reception would be smaller at a different location.  Is this a breach of etiquette? 

This is NOT OK.  

And I think you just realized that you DID NOT find the perfect place for a reception.  

Jen4948

Yes, it's very rude to invite people to the ceremony who won't be hosted along with everyone else. Either find a reception venue that will hold all persons invited to the ceremony at the reception as well, or cut your guest list to 150 persons.

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the advice!  I need to talk to my fiancé about what we want to do... cut the guest list or find a different venue.

misssunshine17

juliehambridge said:

Thanks for the advice!  I need to talk to my fiancé about what we want to do... cut the guest list or find a different venue.

Good for you for not coming back all pissed.