having a maid and matron of honor

amg1105

Okay so here is the deal. I wanted to have my best friend who just got married be my Matron of Honor. I also have two sisters...One is my twin and the other is an adopted sister, who is six months older. I am equally close to both sisters and have always siad I would never chose between them when it came to picking a MOH.  I have learned through my mother that my twin has said numerous times that she will be devistated if I do not pick her to be my MOH. My adopted sister dos not care about begin a MOH...She will be a bridesmaid in the weeding. So here is the question how do I do ceremony and resposibilites for my twin (not married, my Maid of Honor) and my best friend (Married) Matron of Honor.

vsgal

Just have a matron and maid of honor.  Neither should have responsibilities except for showing up to the wedding in the agreed on dress and smile for pictures. They are not required or should be expected to throw parties, help plan, put together favors or invitations or any other "job".   As far as the ceremony, just have them walk in with the groomsman and best man and stand with you.  I don't think there is a specific order that has to be adhered to involving a maid and matron of honor.

OliveOilsMom

amg1105 said:

Okay so here is the deal. I wanted to have my best friend who just got married be my Matron of Honor. I also have two sisters...One is my twin and the other is an adopted sister, who is six months older. I am equally close to both sisters and have always siad I would never chose between them when it came to picking a MOH.  I have learned through my mother that my twin has said numerous times that she will be devistated if I do not pick her to be my MOH. My adopted sister dos not care about begin a MOH...She will be a bridesmaid in the weeding. So here is the question how do I do ceremony and resposibilites for my twin (not married, my Maid of Honor) and my best friend (Married) Matron of Honor.

I had a maid and matron of honor, but I also had 3 other BMs.  Are you only having 3 attendants?  That really puts the spotlight on your other sister that she isn't good enough.  If you are only having 3 attendants, then either make them all MOHs or all BMs.  Don't put your other sister into an awkward position.

As far as duties, I guess you are meaning during the ceremony.  Have one stand closest to you to hold your bouquet and the other one sign the marriage license.  As for pre-wedding parties and helping with DIY projects: anyone who offers can help or plan the party.  They are not mandatory to getting married.

PrettyGirlLost

OliveOilsMom said:

amg1105 said:

Okay so here is the deal. I wanted to have my best friend who just got married be my Matron of Honor. I also have two sisters...One is my twin and the other is an adopted sister, who is six months older. I am equally close to both sisters and have always siad I would never chose between them when it came to picking a MOH.  I have learned through my mother that my twin has said numerous times that she will be devistated if I do not pick her to be my MOH. My adopted sister dos not care about begin a MOH...She will be a bridesmaid in the weeding. So here is the question how do I do ceremony and resposibilites for my twin (not married, my Maid of Honor) and my best friend (Married) Matron of Honor.

I had a maid and matron of honor, but I also had 3 other BMs.  Are you only having 3 attendants?  That really puts the spotlight on your other sister that she isn't good enough.  If you are only having 3 attendants, then either make them all MOHs or all BMs.  Don't put your other sister into an awkward position.

As far as duties, I guess you are meaning during the ceremony.  Have one stand closest to you to hold your bouquet and the other one sign the marriage license.  As for pre-wedding parties and helping with DIY projects: anyone who offers can help or plan the party.  They are not mandatory to getting married.

All of this.