Biggest cheapskate I know

debpat2014

I don't know where to start. My sister has been engaged for 9 years to the biggest cheapskate ever. They never got married because he has one excuse after another, kids child support, then there weddings, grandchildren, new truck. says he never has the money. Now im getting married next june, so they set a date fpr next september. My sister is asking me for addresses witch i took along time to hunt down. Her boyfriend said something about passing my wedding stuff down. This pisses me off they both make way more money then me and im doing all the work for my wedding, having fun doing it, But maybe I want to keep my things or sell them on craigslist. He is so cheap that he drives to work and home , makes my sister drive him everywhere to save his gas. They always pay dutch or my sister pays , he never pays for her. once there was a $3 item on his bill that was hers and he made the waitress take it off. Why my sister stays with him i have no idea, he is always poor me and he makes more money than any of us. Last week my sister came home crying because she took her vacation for work and Now he is changing the date to October. The family is taken bets this is never going to happen and she will never leave him. 9 years and they dont even live together, his mother doesnt believe in that.  there honeymoon is porchview !!!

afox007

Sadly the only thing you have control of in the situation is where your wedding stuff goes. If there's stuff you want to keep that is off limits and offer to sell them anything you planned to sell on Craigslist. There's no reason you have to just give it to them. 

OliveOilsMom

debpat2014 said:

I don't know where to start. My sister has been engaged for 9 years to the biggest cheapskate ever. They never got married because he has one excuse after another, kids child support, then there weddings, grandchildren, new truck. says he never has the money. Now im getting married next june, so they set a date fpr next september. My sister is asking me for addresses witch i took along time to hunt down. Her boyfriend said something about passing my wedding stuff down. This pisses me off they both make way more money then me and im doing all the work for my wedding, having fun doing it, But maybe I want to keep my things or sell them on craigslist. He is so cheap that he drives to work and home , makes my sister drive him everywhere to save his gas. They always pay dutch or my sister pays , he never pays for her. once there was a $3 item on his bill that was hers and he made the waitress take it off. Why my sister stays with him i have no idea, he is always poor me and he makes more money than any of us. Last week my sister came home crying because she took her vacation for work and Now he is changing the date to October. The family is taken bets this is never going to happen and she will never leave him. 9 years and they dont even live together, his mother doesnt believe in that.  there honeymoon is porchview !!!

All you can do is support your sister.  She obviously is sticking with this guy in spite of his odd ways.  As for your wedding items, if you truly don't want to just give them to your sister, then don't.  Tell them you would like to sell the items to help make up for the cost you paid.  If they want to buy them from you, let them.  

hlvonb

debpat2014 said:

I don't know where to start. My sister has been engaged for 9 years to the biggest cheapskate ever. They never got married because he has one excuse after another, kids child support, then there weddings, grandchildren, new truck. says he never has the money. Now im getting married next june, so they set a date fpr next september. My sister is asking me for addresses witch i took along time to hunt down. Her boyfriend said something about passing my wedding stuff down. This pisses me off they both make way more money then me and im doing all the work for my wedding, having fun doing it, But maybe I want to keep my things or sell them on craigslist. He is so cheap that he drives to work and home , makes my sister drive him everywhere to save his gas. They always pay dutch or my sister pays , he never pays for her. once there was a $3 item on his bill that was hers and he made the waitress take it off. Why my sister stays with him i have no idea, he is always poor me and he makes more money than any of us. Last week my sister came home crying because she took her vacation for work and Now he is changing the date to October. The family is taken bets this is never going to happen and she will never leave him. 9 years and they dont even live together, his mother doesnt believe in that.  there honeymoon is porchview !!!

I am sorry that this is going on. I doesn't sound like a good relationship from what you have told us BUT keep in mind that you don't know everything about their relationship since you're not in it rather you're someone who's seeing what they show to the public (so to say).

Like others have said, all you can do is be there to support your sister. And your wedding items are yours to do with as you please. Don't give them to anyone if you don't want to. If your original plan was to sell X item and they want it, tell them they can give you x amount of money for it. If they don't want to do that, then so be it. They can get the item elsewhere or go without it

misshart00

Is he aware they can just go to the courthouse and get married for the cost of the license and officiant?

EverAfer

Everything PP said. You can't change their relationship. Have a great wedding. If you want to sell the stuff, sell to whoever you want or highest bidder.

debpat2014

yes that is what they are doing going to the courthouse, and having a reception days later. 

hlvonb

debpat2014 said:

yes that is what they are doing going to the courthouse, and having a reception days later. 

There's nothing wrong with that. Like we said, you can't change their relationship and you don't have to sell anything to anyone you don't want to.

debpat2014

we went out for a family dinner / party for Christmas  and he actually bought my uncle a draft beer, his downfall my aunt got nothing. i called hi out on it, told him it was rude, she could have gotten at least an ice water. we all fell over about the beer 

monkeysip

debpat2014 said:

I don't know where to start. My sister has been engaged for 9 years to the biggest cheapskate ever. They never got married because he has one excuse after another, kids child support, then there weddings, grandchildren, new truck. says he never has the money. Now im getting married next june, so they set a date fpr next september. My sister is asking me for addresses witch i took along time to hunt down. Her boyfriend said something about passing my wedding stuff down. This pisses me off they both make way more money then me and im doing all the work for my wedding, having fun doing it, But maybe I want to keep my things or sell them on craigslist. He is so cheap that he drives to work and home , makes my sister drive him everywhere to save his gas. They always pay dutch or my sister pays , he never pays for her. once there was a $3 item on his bill that was hers and he made the waitress take it off. Why my sister stays with him i have no idea, he is always poor me and he makes more money than any of us. Last week my sister came home crying because she took her vacation for work and Now he is changing the date to October. The family is taken bets this is never going to happen and she will never leave him. 9 years and they dont even live together, his mother doesnt believe in that.  there honeymoon is porchview !!!

I'm sorry but you sound kind of judgey here.  Do you really know all their finances and how much they make?  All their living expenses?  How their relationship works?  And why are you judging them for not living together or where their honeymoon is?

I get it, I mean, it does sound like this guy is cheap, and it does sound like your sister and him have problems.  I'd be concerned for my sister too.  And you definitely do not have to give them any of your wedding decor/supplies if you don't want to.  But I would just stay out of it unless  your sister asks for advice.  She's a grown woman and can make her own choices.  Hopefully she's making the right one by marrying him, or if not, maybe she will leave him before the wedding.

Like PPs said, all you can control is how you react to them and their requests, but you can't do anything about how they do or do not spend their money or their personal life choices.

hlvonb

debpat2014 said:

we went out for a family dinner / party for Christmas  and he actually bought my uncle a draft beer, his downfall my aunt got nothing. i called hi out on it, told him it was rude, she could have gotten at least an ice water. we all fell over about the beer 

@debpat2014

So you called him out for buying your uncle a beer and not your aunt? I am sorry but that's a bit silly. 

PolarBearFitz

Calling someone out for being rude in a public setting in front of family is also very rude...

climbingsingle

aefitz29 said:

Calling someone out for being rude in a public setting in front of family is also very rude...

Word. You need to check yourself, girlfriend. 

PolarBearFitz

ClimbingBrideNY said:

aefitz29 said:

Calling someone out for being rude in a public setting in front of family is also very rude...

Word. You need to check yourself, girlfriend. 

This made me crack up because all I could think of was: