Pre-wedding Parties

Should I invite them to the shower?

I have a big family and only plan to invite the females invited to my shower from my friends and family members. I also am fortunate enough to have a wonderful and supportive church family.  A few of them are invited to the wedding but it's the ones who are not invited that are very excited and even talking about cooking for my shower. Should I invite them? My MOH is planning it at the church and I know it's rude, but how do I tell them that they're not invited? 
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Re: Should I invite them to the shower?

  • If they don't receive an invitation to the shower, they're not invited. No need to tell them anything. There's no polite way to say to someone, "hey btw, just so you know, don't look for an invite in the mail because it's not coming... you're not invited." Just don't send an invite and avoid talking about it with them.

    I would avoid talking about your wedding in general with anyone not invited. Just say generic things and change the subject like "oh planning is going well... how's your son?" KWIM? 
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    doeydoBlue_Bird
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    You should not invite anyone to the shower that will not be invited to the wedding. When they talk about being excited, politely say, "I'm sorry we aren't able to invite everyone to our wedding, but truly appreciate your well wishes and prayers." Then change the subject and don't bring the wedding up with them.

    Is there a chance the MOH is hiring them to cook the food and serve it? This would be ok, as they are vendors, not guests.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    doeydo
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    You should not invite anyone to the shower that will not be invited to the wedding. When they talk about being excited, politely say, "I'm sorry we aren't able to invite everyone to our wedding, but truly appreciate your well wishes and prayers." Then change the subject and don't bring the wedding up with them.

    Is there a chance the MOH is hiring them to cook the food and serve it? This would be ok, as they are vendors, not guests.
    This.  Don't bring up the subject, but you can use @photokitty's response here to anyone not invited who brings up the possibility of being invited.
  • I'm going to have to use this response but it's driving me crazy. Next time it comes up I'll have to explain that my FH & I are paying for this ourselves and although we would love to invite everyone,  we have to keep it to immediate family & close friends. 
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