Wedding Woes

The old rock/hard place.

Dear Prudence,
For nearly a decade, I've been an assistant to a very successful man. He is an extraordinary manager and I feel very loyal to him. Last year, I accidentally found out he had a fling with a colleague at a conference overseas. Subsequently, for the first time, his wife invited me to spend Christmas with them, a sign of high esteem. It was a wonderful holiday with a large extended family and I enjoyed myself immensely. Over the course of the following year, however, my boss has continued this affair and seems obsessed with his mistress. They attend conferences all over the world and take glamorous side trips. They are constantly in touch. He is incredibly cheerful when he comes back from these events. I’ve been invited for Christmas again this year, and it breaks my heart to think of looking into the eyes of his wife and his mother-in-law, who are both warm, affectionate people. I doubt he's in an open marriage—years ago he made a joke about his wife killing him if he ever cheated on her. I feel I have been complicit by keeping silent. I am estranged from my family and don’t spend the holidays with friends, and my boss knows this. If I go, I would feel tempted to pull the wife aside and tell her, or else just burst into tears, which would be the end of my job. But if I don't go, it won't be very good for my job, either. What should I do?

—Ms. Jeeves

Re: The old rock/hard place.

  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    omg mind your own business mrs conn

    AuntFloOface4evamrsconn23Wzz
  • what the what, @mrs.conn23. do your job or get another one.

    btw, why are you estranged from your family? could you not keep your nose out of their business either?

    fyi you are terrible.
    image
    mrsconn23WzzDixieNormous330
  • I'm the minority here, I would be in the same boat as her.

    I would have to quit because morally I wouldn't be able to work for him. If I didn't know that is one thing, but if I definitely knew then I wouldn't be able to stand to work for him.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Amyzen83aluzardo
  • Actually this situation does put you in a hard place. I wouldn't say any option is the best. But it does let you know the character of that person - the husband. So sad. I do feel sorry for his wife but I have a feeling that no matter what you do. I don't know if anyone has any good advice in these situations. Minding your own business or trying to do something right will eat at you no matter which option you choose.
  • Actually this situation does put you in a hard place. I wouldn't say any option is the best. But it does let you know the character of that person - the husband. So sad. I do feel sorry for his wife but I have a feeling that no matter what you do. I don't know if anyone has any good advice in these situations. Minding your own business or trying to do something right will eat at you no matter which option you choose.
    Amyzen83
  • Merry Christmas!  (Literally)
    mrsconn23
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