NWR- would you/ did you add husband to your financial accounts

jenna8984

We do plan to make a joint account for household bills and keep our separate checking accounts/ credit cards but I'm not really talking about those small accounts. My FI is listed as beneficiary on my life insurance and 401k. But I have an investment account where my life savings are and the company "doesn't provide beneficary benefits at this time". They told me in order for him to get the money (if anything happened to me knock on wood) I would have list him as an account holder with the same access as me or have it go through will/ probate. I think I'm going to add him to the acct just so there's no doubt in him getting the money and no waiting months for probate.

But then it's kind of a sticky situation because it is my life savings and he'd have access. I trust him a million %. Obviously we plan to be together forever but sometimes things happen....people I never thought would ever get divorced did after 25 years. What do you think?

Emmy1493

I'm not smart with legal advise or anything, but if you have like a family lawyer or know someone who is smart in that area, I would ask them. It never hurts asking for legal advise, JIC.

mellyD2014

Isn't that something you can specify in a living will? If you're not 100% comfortable with him having unfettered access, it might be something to consider!

emmyg65

We opened a joint checking account after we got engaged, and I made him the beneficiary of my life insurance and retirement plan after we got married. Personally, were I in your situation, I would not add my husband to my savings account. But I'd draw up a will stating that the money goes to him. (You should have a will anyway.)

cruffino

We have joint accounts for everything and once we're married in Feb we'll add each other as beneficiaries for our retirement accounts.

Our finances are fully joint and that works for us but I know it's not for everyone. If you're not comfortable adding him then don't. Pursue the will option.

KatWAG

All of our money is also completely joint. And we are eachothers beneficiaries. We have very similar spending habits and it works for us.

If you are unsure about your financial situation, I would tak to a lawyer.

jenna8984

Thanks!!

I texted my friend who's a lawyer and he recommends just putting it in the will so that's proably the way to go

blabla89

You should check with the investment company to find out what the procedures and requirements are for the account to be paid out if something happens to you. Then you should consult an attorney and make a decision accordingly. Also include it in your will.

Ven&Radio

My two cents - if you're marrying someone and intend to share the rest of your lives together, your finances are part of that.

audubonbride2013

Ven&Radio said:

My two cents - if you're marrying someone and intend to share the rest of your lives together, your finances are part of that.

This.  We have everything joint except my life insurance and 401K since they're through my employer but he would get all of them if I were to die.

I know some people like everything separate and that works for them, but we share everything and that works for us.

Emmy1493

jenna8984 said:

Thanks!!

I texted my friend who's a lawyer and he recommends just putting it in the will so that's proably the way to go

Thats good! I thinks it's extremely important to both be on the same page as far as finances go. It is also always good to have a plan in the even that something did happen (second your knock on wood)

MairePoppy

I'm 50+ y/o and have seen quite a few friends and acquaintances go through messy divorces. All of them trusted their beloved husbands 100 % when they married them. Several had husbands with secret mistresses, secret apartments, secret savings accounts. They were so good at covering their asses that their wives had no idea. The ex husbands cleaned out retirement accounts, got second mortgages on their homes with their wives, on the pretenses of using the money to fund their businesses or better investments before they filed for divorces One woman lost her very expensive vacation home and now is paying off the mortgage on her primary home. She works 60- 80 hours a week and will probably never be able to retire. Another lost her home to foreclosure.  The formerly perfect husbands and fathers  bought new homes and travel with their new wives.

I wouldn't suggest putting your new husband's name on the investment account. Ask your lawyer how you can make sure your husband has access to the account, asap, if something happens to you. You can rethink this 30 - 40 years from now. 

That said, I wish you a long and happy marriage.

Jells2dot0

There is no way I'd ever add my DH to any of my accounts, and vice versa. He is the most honest, fiscally conservative, trustworthy person I know and it just will never happen. However, he has a living trust. It's all spelled out in there- everything gets dumped into one account and it is split into halves, as he has kids. I'm the successor trustee. It was a little pricey, but totally worth it to avoid probate or any squabbles (hopefully.) you just need to make sure that the trust is kept up to date as you gain or she'd assets.

hlvonb

jenna8984 said:

We do plan to make a joint account for household bills and keep our separate checking accounts/ credit cards but I'm not really talking about those small accounts. My FI is listed as beneficiary on my life insurance and 401k. But I have an investment account where my life savings are and the company "doesn't provide beneficary benefits at this time". They told me in order for him to get the money (if anything happened to me knock on wood) I would have list him as an account holder with the same access as me or have it go through will/ probate. I think I'm going to add him to the acct just so there's no doubt in him getting the money and no waiting months for probate.

But then it's kind of a sticky situation because it is my life savings and he'd have access. I trust him a million %. Obviously we plan to be together forever but sometimes things happen....people I never thought would ever get divorced did after 25 years. What do you think?

@jenna8984

We're not married yet but we combined checking and savings accounts. We kept credit cards in our own names though

Rebl90

We plan on making everything joint because we have no doubt that its the right way to go for us, we're in it all the way together

vt&dt

We will combine everything when we are married.  We are likely to start using a cash budgeting system (a la Dave Ramsey) to allow us each individual "play money" but have all bills, etc - and access to $ combined (also helps keep birthday and Christmas gifts a secret!)

MyNameIsNot

jenna8984 said:

Thanks!!

I texted my friend who's a lawyer and he recommends just putting it in the will so that's proably the way to go

This makes sense.  Will and probate can take some time, so it's important that you each have the ability to access funds necessary for day to day expenses quickly in such an event, but he wouldn't need access to this kind of account right away.  

lizandmark2014

I added my FI to my accounts that me and my mom were on. ( accounts belonging to me) We will also have a living will after the new year. I am doing both because probate court is a pain where I live. If I ever kick the bucket I want as little stress on him as possible. Death is stressful enough on the people left behind.

jenna8984

@lizandmark2014 probate court is a bitch in every state and I guess my state doesn't recognize living wills- annoying! 

thanks for all the input everyone!

CMGragain

You need to talk to a lawyer who is familiar with the laws in your state.  Not all states are the same.
This is a great time to draw up a pre-nup for both of you.  This is to protect your interests, in case of divorce.  A friend of mine who is an attorney says that most people who bother to draw up a pre-nup never need one.  (No divorce.)  My daughter had one.  I had one.  I know plenty of people who WISH they'd had one!
Pre-nups are very traditional.  They were negotiated through lawyers for couples planning marriage for thousands of years!  Aristocracy was particularly used to this.  Have you seen "The White Queen"?  When England's Edward IV married the girl he loved without a pre-nup, or checking with his family first, the War of the Roses was the result!
See a lawyer!

WinstonsGirl

@CMGRagain - is this who I think it is??  If so, welcome back!!  

Kerigirl9

We're planning to keep the current arrangement in place once we get married. Right now we have separate accounts and credit cards. Each month he pays the mortgage and I pay all the rest of the bills (utilities, vacations, joint purchases, home repairs) then at the end of the month we add it up and split it down the middle. Once we're married we'll be adding each other to the retirement accounts and investments.

CMGragain

WinstonsGirl said:

@CMGRagain - is this who I think it is??  If so, welcome back!!  

Thank you.