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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

How do you feel about solo musical performances during a *civil* wedding ceremony

CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
edited December 2013 in Ceremony and Vow Ideas
We are having a short civil ceremony.  My sister sings opera semi-professionally and I was going to have her sing something short (2-3 min max) during the ceremony.  Does this risk making it feel like a recital?  Or is it AWish like my family is showing off my sister?  If it were a religious ceremony we could just have her do it during communion or something and it would fit in, but I'm not sure how it works with a secular ceremony.  Thoughts?

ETA: Here's a clip of some child prodigy singing the aria she would so (the singing starts at around the 50 sec mark--we would cut out the long intro): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhViOPTeG7c

Re: How do you feel about solo musical performances during a *civil* wedding ceremony

  • That sounds really lovely. I really don't think that civil ceremonies need to be any different than religious ones, except for the lack of a religious tone. This aria is essentially a reading. 

    I, too, come from a proud musical family and my dad and uncles played music as a prelude before the ceremony started. Several people said they really enjoyed it.
  • We are having a short civil ceremony.  My sister sings opera semi-professionally and I was going to have her sing something short (2-3 min max) during the ceremony.  Does this risk making it feel like a recital?  Or is it AWish like my family is showing off my sister?  If it were a religious ceremony we could just have her do it during communion or something and it would fit in, but I'm not sure how it works with a secular ceremony.  Thoughts?

    ETA: Here's a clip of some child prodigy singing the aria she would so (the singing starts at around the 50 sec mark--we would cut out the long intro): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhViOPTeG7c

    @CrazyCatLady3

    As long as it is only 1 song and does not last too long I think it is perfectly fine and would not become like a recital.

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I think that as long as it's maybe 3 minutes or less, it wouldn't be AWish.
  • The rules for a civil ceremony are no different than rules for a religious ceremony.  You can have music if you want it.  Make sure your sister is OK with the plan.  My late mother made me sing at her last wedding, and I still feel angry about it.  I hated being put on display.
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    doeydo[Deleted User]misssunshine17
  • What a wonderful memory that would make! I say go for it.
    CrazyCatLady3
  • My opinion on solo music during a civil wedding is the same as my opinion on solo music during a church wedding: Fine as long as something else is happening (solo during communion, or during a blessing, or during a unity candle lighting), boring and obnoxious if I have to sit and listen to the solo while NOTHING ELSE wedding-related is happening.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    doeydo
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited December 2013
    Honestly, I don't really like when people choose to have music or some other performance in the middle of their ceremony, seemingly for no reason.
    ETA a word that I didn't type for some reason
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    HisGirlFriday13
  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2013
    Well hopefully people won't be too bored if we decide to do it since our whole ceremony will probably be about 20 min, whereas we sat through 1 hour religious services for some of our guests' weddings.  And my sister offered, I'm not drafting her into it.
  • It's not the parity of making your guests sit through as long of a ceremony as you did. It's that people came to watch you get married, not be a captive audience of performances that aren't directly related to your actual marriage. Also, just putting this out there -- not everyone likes opera.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • So are you saying that every single element of an hour long religious ceremony is directly related to a couple's marriage?  Including the offering, giving communion to the entire congregation rather than just the couple, singing psalms etc?  If you go by this standard then anything more than the vows is superfluous.  

    I'm not sure yet whether we will have the song, but I don't think your reasoning is sound.  And if we only used for music what every single person liked, we would have no music. 

    This particular aria is about a person taking refuge under the shade of a tree.  It can allegorically symbolize a marriage, and is frequently used in wedding ceremonies.
  • My best friend sang a song and played at my wedding and one of my sister's best friends sang at hers.  Nothing else happened during the song.  Personally, I don't mind it at all.  At both of our weddings, the songs were specifically about wedding/marriage.  At mine, the song was the same song that my best friend's parents sang at my H's parents wedding.

    I like songs at weddings.  Unless the song is five minutes long or the person is a terrible singer, I don't care if nothing is going on while the song is being sung.

  • So are you saying that every single element of an hour long religious ceremony is directly related to a couple's marriage?  Including the offering, giving communion to the entire congregation rather than just the couple, singing psalms etc?  If you go by this standard then anything more than the vows is superfluous.  


    I'm not sure yet whether we will have the song, but I don't think your reasoning is sound.  And if we only used for music what every single person liked, we would have no music. 

    This particular aria is about a person taking refuge under the shade of a tree.  It can allegorically symbolize a marriage, and is frequently used in wedding ceremonies.
    Well you asked my opinion. That's my opinion. And yes, I think any music not related to the Liturgy of the Mass or service is, in fact, superfluous.

    I didn't say that the song you wanted wasn't appropriate or lovely or anything else. I said that my opinion, as a guest, is that I hate sitting through songs and/or performances that don't seem to be related to the actual wedding ceremony.

    And when I go to weddings that have elements I don't like, I just sit quietly actual and enjoy my friends' special day. I never tell them that I don't like their unity candles or sand ceremonies or whatever. That would be rude.

    But since you asked Internet strangers what we think, I told you what I think. Don't take offence. You asked for opinions; you were bound to get some you didn't like.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • It doesn't matter if you are having a civil service or religious, it's your ceremony. It sounds like the ceremony you have planned will be short and so would her performance. We had our BM sing Ave Maria for our unity candle ceremony and it was beautiful. The only thing I could see that could cause an issue is if you are doing your ceremony at the court house, if so, I would just check with them if they would allow it since they usually give time restrictions on ceremonies.

  • I think it would be beautiful. You don't have to have a religious wedding to have a solo. If you like the idea then go for it! Its your big day.
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