Maid of Honor Battle

mrsbpearch

So I have a dilemma... before officially asking my bridesmaids to be in my wedding, I was talking with one of my really close friends about the wedding and couldn't help it, so I hinted to her that she was going to be in my bridal party, but that is all I said. Since then, she has made a few comments assuming she is my maid of honor, but I never gave her that role. I am the maid of honor for my best friend's wedding and I was planning on her being my matron of honor and she is planning on that as well, but I was not planning on having my other friend be the maid of honor like she thinks she is because our styles are different and my best friend knows me best and wasn't planning on sharing the responsibilities. Now I am about to ask my bridesmaids to be in my wedding officially, but I don't want to hurt my good friend by not asking her to be the maid of honor. How do I handle this? Or should I just give in and have a matron of honor as well as a maid of honor?

AddieCake

You simply don't ask her. If she presses you, tell her, "Sally is my maid of honor. I'm so excited you're one of my bridesmaids, though! have you seen The hobbit yet?"

HisGirlFriday13

mrsbpearch said:

So I have a dilemma... before officially asking my bridesmaids to be in my wedding, I was talking with one of my really close friends about the wedding and couldn't help it, so I hinted to her that she was going to be in my bridal party, but that is all I said. Since then, she has made a few comments assuming she is my maid of honor, but I never gave her that role. I am the maid of honor for my best friend's wedding and I was planning on her being my matron of honor and she is planning on that as well, but I was not planning on having my other friend be the maid of honor like she thinks she is because our styles are different and my best friend knows me best and wasn't planning on sharing the responsibilities. Now I am about to ask my bridesmaids to be in my wedding officially, but I don't want to hurt my good friend by not asking her to be the maid of honor. How do I handle this? Or should I just give in and have a matron of honor as well as a maid of honor?

1. The difference in your styles is irrelevant; she buys the dress and shows up.

2. There are no "responsibilities" to share so your MOH doesn't need to worry about that.

3. There is nothing wrong with having two MsOH, or a Maid and Matron of Honour.

4. Your friend shouldn't be assumptive, so if you aren't planning on having her be MOH, when you ask them "officially," just make it clear that you're asking her to be a BM and you've already asked someone else to be your MOH.

hlvonb

Ask her to be a bridesmaid. That simple.

IF she asks about being MoH, then say I am sorry you got that impression but X is my MoH. I am honored that you are my Bridesmaid though and then change the subject.

montgomerywedding2014

I think you should just go ahead and ask her to be your bridesmaid..But maybe so she doesnt get all upset, when you ask her just seem super excited about it. Not like a boring hey will you be my bridesmaid? Maybe if you seem excited to ask she wont be as bummed if you ask her to be  BM then MOH.

 

Either way if she i syour close friend she will accept it anyways and put a smile on & if she want to be involved there is no saying that she cant call up the MOH and throw out ideas and things like that!!!

ginger2431

Probably don't mention "The Hobbit," (although I think that was just an example of how to switch the conversation), but her assumption isn't your problem.  I have two friends who assumed they were my maid of honor (even though I'd never brought it up), so when I made some baskets to ask them to be in my wedding party, I made it clear.  I put in some champagne glasses I ordered from Etsy, and theirs clearly said "bridesmaid."  It's not your job to address their assumptions, especially when addressing them might make the situation more uncomfortable for those involved.  You don't know what they're thinking (regardless of how close you are), so mentioning something you assume they're thinking could cause an awkward situation for everyone involved.  Good luck!