Inviting Guests after First "Round" of invites go out

kjvaracalli

My FI and I seem to have a misunderstanding about invites.  I've complied the list of invites so they can be sent out.   FI keeps telling me he may add "one or two more" later so he is not giving me those addresses now.  And FFIL has one couple he may add later too.....Not sure when "later" is, since RSVP date is Feb 8 for our March 1 wedding and the invites are going out after the holidays.  Someone is doing calligraphy and so by adding people "later" he states we can just throw a label on the envelope and not worry about the calligraphy.  Keep in mind, my parents who are 5 hrs away actually have the invites and are getting the response cards, not us.  And the tension btw my family and this entire planning of wedding is crazy.   So, thoughts? Opinions?  How do I straighten him out?  He doesn't seem to understand a lot of etiquette with weddings.....and I'm pretty sure he won't think anything of making someone essentially a "B lister".  oye..... 

CMGragain

Just tell him that this is considered to be rude.  If he wants anyone else to be invited, he must give the names and addresses to you NOW, NOW, NOW!!!  (Labels?  Ick!)

Maggie0829

Tell him that since the invites are being done by a calligrapher and your parents are handling the invites and RSVP cards then everyone who is going to be invited needs to be sent an invitation by X day (meaning the day you want your invites go out). I really doubt he will understand what is rude about B listing people so I wouldn't even try explaining. Put emphasis on the fact that you are trying to make things as easy as possible on your parents so you need everyone's address now not later.

kjvaracalli

Thanks for the advice.  Maggie--totally right on understanding B list...no idea... We'll see how this goes.  

doeydo

I would be firm, if he cannot comprehend that it is rude then I might say something like "If anyone's information is not given to my parents by x date, they will not be invited, period.  There is no "round two".  There is no "later".  They get invited when everyone else does or they don't get invited at all."

Jen4948

doeydo said:

I would be firm, if he cannot comprehend that it is rude then I might say something like "If anyone's information is not given to my parents by x date, they will not be invited, period.  There is no "round two".  There is no "later".  They get invited when everyone else does or they don't get invited at all."

This.  And make it stick.