Invites and Paper

Inviting Single Mums, and Couples who don't live together?

I'm having some problems with how I should address some of my invitations - and who to.

Three of my good girl friends are single mums; one is a widow (and divorcee) with two boys by her first husband and a girl by her second. My question about her is this; should I have: and guest, on her invite? All three of her kids are being invited, and we can accommodate a guest, but I know she's not dating anyone, so is it just pointless?

The second is also a divorcee who has two daughters, and I know for definite that she is dating someone, but her kids haven't met him yet. I don't know if I should invite him on her invitation along with her girls as a guest or not. I don't want to invite him and then for her kids to find out and be annoyed that he's asked when they haven't met him yet, or, on the other hand, for her to be a little miffed at him not having been invited at all.

The third has one daughter and is dating one of my fiance's groomsmen. They've been together for a year now I think, but they don't live together. He has met her daughter though. I don't know whether and we should send them one invite together, one each and not include a guest, or just to invite one each and to include a guest anyway, even though I know they'll be with each other. My mum says the third option id the right one, but it seems a little pointless.

My last problem is this: My cousin is married, but she and her husband do not live in the same house. He lives in a flat in Rome (but only during the week) and she lives in a house in Vienna, with their four daughters. Should I send the invite to all of them at her house, or one to her and the kids at the house, and another, just to him at the flat?

Re: Inviting Single Mums, and Couples who don't live together?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    1) It's not required, but you can if you want to.

    2) If she's dating someone, I'd invite him and let her worry about the situation with her daughters.  That's a situation I don't think you should involve yourself in.

    3) I'd invite them together in one invitation.

    4) I'd send one invitation to all of them to her house.
    doeydo
  • GinnaNGinnaN
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2013
    I should say that #2's daughters are 5 and 3.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    GinnaN said:
    I should say that #2's daughters are 5 and 3.
    I don't think that's relevant.  I do think you need to acknowledge the dating relationship regardless of what their relationships with her children are like.
    doeydo
  • In addressing #2, I think you should simply invite the lady and her children, and insert a handwritten note, "You are welcome to bring a guest".  That puts the ball in her court.
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  • GinnaN said:
    I'm having some problems with how I should address some of my invitations - and who to.

    Three of my good girl friends are single mums; one is a widow (and divorcee) with two boys by her first husband and a girl by her second. My question about her is this; should I have: and guest, on her invite? All three of her kids are being invited, and we can accommodate a guest, but I know she's not dating anyone, so is it just pointless?

    The second is also a divorcee who has two daughters, and I know for definite that she is dating someone, but her kids haven't met him yet. I don't know if I should invite him on her invitation along with her girls as a guest or not. I don't want to invite him and then for her kids to find out and be annoyed that he's asked when they haven't met him yet, or, on the other hand, for her to be a little miffed at him not having been invited at all.

    The third has one daughter and is dating one of my fiance's groomsmen. They've been together for a year now I think, but they don't live together. He has met her daughter though. I don't know whether and we should send them one invite together, one each and not include a guest, or just to invite one each and to include a guest anyway, even though I know they'll be with each other. My mum says the third option id the right one, but it seems a little pointless.

    My last problem is this: My cousin is married, but she and her husband do not live in the same house. He lives in a flat in Rome (but only during the week) and she lives in a house in Vienna, with their four daughters. Should I send the invite to all of them at her house, or one to her and the kids at the house, and another, just to him at the flat?
    1. First scenario -- are you allowing other truly single guests a plus-one? If so, then extend it to her as well. If not, then don't. 

    2. Second scenario -- if you know she's dating someone, you should invite him by name, under any normal circumstances. In this case, since you know she hasn't introduced him to her children, I'd invite her with a plus-one and let her sort it out.

    3. Do they still function as a social unit? As in, they're married but live separately because of his job? Then send one invite, to her in Vienna, for them all. It sounds like he lives away for convenience to work, not because they're separated.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • #1 - If you aren't giving all your singles a +1, I wouldn't give her one.  Maybe let her know verbally if she begins seeing someone between now and the rsvp date that she would like to go with, to let you know, and they'd be welcome?

    #2 - Given the ages of the children, I think you're fine addressing the invite to her and her SO.  Is she going to bring children that young anyway?  If they were older children/teens, I'd probably address it to her "and guest" to avoid the kids seeing his name on something, if they don't know about him.  But at 5 and 3, they won't know the difference.

    #3 - same as above poster.
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