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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Uncle Walking Me Down Aisle

I am not close to my dad at all. He was absent for most of my childhood and I was raised by my grandparents and uncle. Through my adult life he has made contact with me sporadically and I feel like he is a total stranger. Other than the customary Merry Christmas and Happy birthday text messages, I have talked to him once this entire year when he called to ask me a favor. When my fiancee proposed I called and left my father an excited bride-to-be voicemail and he never returned my call or texted. I have been married before years ago and my dad walked me down the aisle but I felt closer to him at that time. This time I would like to have my uncle walk me down the aisle (my grandfather has passed). I am not sure how to bring up the topic with my dad or if I even need to bring the topic up at all. Any suggestions or words of encouragement would be very appreciated. <3  :)

Re: Uncle Walking Me Down Aisle

  • wagen said:
    I am not close to my dad at all. He was absent for most of my childhood and I was raised by my grandparents and uncle. Through my adult life he has made contact with me sporadically and I feel like he is a total stranger. Other than the customary Merry Christmas and Happy birthday text messages, I have talked to him once this entire year when he called to ask me a favor. When my fiancee proposed I called and left my father an excited bride-to-be voicemail and he never returned my call or texted. I have been married before years ago and my dad walked me down the aisle but I felt closer to him at that time. This time I would like to have my uncle walk me down the aisle (my grandfather has passed). I am not sure how to bring up the topic with my dad or if I even need to bring the topic up at all. Any suggestions or words of encouragement would be very appreciated. <3  :)
    @wagen

    I would say that it doesn't sound like your dad and I are that close so I am not sure he would expect to walk you down the aisle. I would say to go ahead and ask your uncle to walk you down the aisle and only mention something to your dad IF he says anything about it and IF he does, then just be polite but honest about your choice.
    doeydo[Deleted User]
  • I'm sorry that you're dealing with this… Weddings can be tough because they put family dynamics at the forefront. It seems that your two options are to either tell your father upfront directly or wait for him to bring it up. Since he doesn't seem to be very forthcoming, I'd doubt he'd bring it up so maybe it would be a good idea to let him know - otherwise it could lead to an awkward situation in the days leading up to the wedding when he realizes he's not doing it and perhaps it could put a damper on the day if he hasn't time to process it before the wedding and acts disgruntled. 
  • I was in a very similar situation. I actually didn't even invite my father to the wedding so it wasn't a big issue.
     
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  • I'd say go ahead and ask your uncle.  As for telling your father beforehand that'd depend on his personality and if he's invited/attending the wedding itself.  I'd wait to find out if he'll be attending, and then if you expect he'd want to walk you, let him know at that point that your uncle will be doing it.  

    Good luck! I had a similar relationship with my father and these issues were always tricky.  
  • @wagen ;

    I had a similar relationship with my father and my uncle is walking me down the aisle. It was the best decision that I have made. I felt as though that I wanted to have people that made me a better person and especially someone walking you down the aisle is a part of it. I think it is a difficult conversation however just explain that you have felt closer to your uncle than him. 

    Good Luck! 

  • I'm not very close to my dad but I did invite him to the wedding. I explained to him that my mom is walking me down the aisle. I forgot to mention that my mom would be doing a parent/bride dance with me, and apparently he was hurt about it. I feel that my mom earned it because she was there for me when my dad left. She kept a roof over my head and put food on the table during very rough times.
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