Just Engaged and Proposals

newly engaged…everyone, except one of his sisters, is happy. what to do?

I usually just read the posts on this board and never actually write anything but, considering that I have a dilemma that I don't know how to deal with, I figured I'd get some insight from other fellow brides-to-be and whatnot. 

Anyways, he proposed Christmas Eve and we told his family on Christmas Day. Nobody at ALL knew of his intentions (aside from my family), because he wanted to surprise everyone. Everyone seemed happy about the news (his mom cried, his grandpa had a huge smile on his face and congratulated the both of us, etc). I didn't really notice his sisters' reactions, because they were in the kitchen area…but I assumed they were happy as well (or at least one of them). Last night, however, my fiance got a text from the older of his two sisters saying that she needed to talk to him and let some things off her chest. He drove over to her place to hear her out. When he got back, he was all out of sorts. His sister told him that she was worried about him, that he was moving too fast (even though we've been together for 2 years and are in our 30s) and didn't think he was serious about our relationship (my fiance is a big goof and always jokes around). Also said that she thinks a fall wedding is too soon (in a "where's the money gonna come from?" sense) and, the icing to the emotional crumble cake, she didn't want him to turn into his mom (their parents are divorced). He's incredibly close to his family, so of course hearing all of that turned him into a wreck. And, in turn, turning me into a wreck (he turned from happy and enthused to quite worried and sad). 

What I'm wondering now, though, is if she's just jealous. Said sister has no guy in her life, is very self-absorbed (thinks every guy wants her and posts many selfies on facebook), never leaves the house without makeup, and is just the opposite of me. Yet here I am, a very low-key, introverted, non-makeup-wearing girl and am getting hitched. The other sister (who is very similar to me) also has a guy. 

How I can get my guy to set aside what his sister has said (he thinks that other people in his family might share the same sentiment) and to get him excited again (like he was on Christmas and most of yesterday). Also want to know of ways to get his sister to know me better. We don't share anything in common, I don't drive, and going over to her apartment to hang out will result in an asthma attack (she has a cat and I have allergies that don't respond very well to meds). 

Re: newly engaged…everyone, except one of his sisters, is happy. what to do?

  • ldp823 said:
    I usually just read the posts on this board and never actually write anything but, considering that I have a dilemma that I don't know how to deal with, I figured I'd get some insight from other fellow brides-to-be and whatnot. 

    Anyways, he proposed Christmas Eve and we told his family on Christmas Day. Nobody at ALL knew of his intentions (aside from my family), because he wanted to surprise everyone. Everyone seemed happy about the news (his mom cried, his grandpa had a huge smile on his face and congratulated the both of us, etc). I didn't really notice his sisters' reactions, because they were in the kitchen area…but I assumed they were happy as well (or at least one of them). Last night, however, my fiance got a text from the older of his two sisters saying that she needed to talk to him and let some things off her chest. He drove over to her place to hear her out. When he got back, he was all out of sorts. His sister told him that she was worried about him, that he was moving too fast (even though we've been together for 2 years and are in our 30s) and didn't think he was serious about our relationship (my fiance is a big goof and always jokes around). Also said that she thinks a fall wedding is too soon (in a "where's the money gonna come from?" sense) and, the icing to the emotional crumble cake, she didn't want him to turn into his mom (their parents are divorced). He's incredibly close to his family, so of course hearing all of that turned him into a wreck. And, in turn, turning me into a wreck (he turned from happy and enthused to quite worried and sad). 

    What I'm wondering now, though, is if she's just jealous. Said sister has no guy in her life, is very self-absorbed (thinks every guy wants her and posts many selfies on facebook), never leaves the house without makeup, and is just the opposite of me. Yet here I am, a very low-key, introverted, non-makeup-wearing girl and am getting hitched. The other sister (who is very similar to me) also has a guy. 

    How I can get my guy to set aside what his sister has said (he thinks that other people in his family might share the same sentiment) and to get him excited again (like he was on Christmas and most of yesterday). Also want to know of ways to get his sister to know me better. We don't share anything in common, I don't drive, and going over to her apartment to hang out will result in an asthma attack (she has a cat and I have allergies that don't respond very well to meds). 

    You can't get "your guy" to be excited again -- he needs to do that all on his own. Frankly, it sounds like both of you place way too much importance on what the sister thinks about things. Who cares if she isn't over the moon about your engagement? You don't need to be BFFs with her.


    s-aries8990AddieCake
  • This is so ironic you posted this.  I am giong through something so similar.  Everyone is excited for my FI and I, except his sister.  However, we know his sister's situation is straight out of jealousy.  Maybe the same case with your FI's sister - - jealous, insecure, doesn't think its fair he's getting married and she's not?

    Don't let it bring you down.  Try not to think about her.  Enjoy the engagement with your FI, don't talk about it much - - maybe it'll pass :)
  • first of all congrats, i have a weird situation with my grandma but just dont let itbother you, inthe end its you and your FI that matter and should beover the moon. 


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