What Would You Do?

tljoslin69

Hello brides and brides-to-be I have a planning question that I need opinions on.

My now-fiance popped the question about 2 weeks ago (YAY!) and we are trying to figure out when to hold the wedding. We are both in our second year of college right now, and originally planned on an August 2015 wedding. However my parents would prefer us to wait until after graduation. My only issue with this is that we still want an August wedding, and I feel like if we put it off until August 2016 it would become more complicated to plan and hold the wedding while getting adjusted to our new jobs. We also plan on moving out east so there would be the issue of travel plans etc. We've already set a budget and each plan on working 2 jobs the next 2 summers, so we could afford the 2015 wedding, I would just hate for my parents to freak out even more than they already have (they are still a little freaked about us getting engaged at 19). So fellow students, what would you do? Would you hold the wedding during school, or after graduation? Do you think postponing until 2016 would be difficult to juggle along with moving and new jobs? 

doeydo

It sounds like you and your FI are fine with getting married in August of 2015, and that is all that matters.  It is not like once you get married you are going to quit school or anything.  The only issue I would see would be the money aspect, but you said you are both going to be working two jobs, plus being busy with school and wedding planning.  Ultimately, it is you and your FI's decisions when to wed. 

Lizziecat

I agree that if this is what you want that is what matters most, but I have a few things for you to think about.  I also got engaged during my sophomore year, and I waited until after graduation to have the wedding (I did graduate in 3 years though).  I think waiting until after graduation is good in eliminating some of the "to young" criticism.  I found that a lot of people were concerned about my dropping out of college since I was getting married, so having it after graduation helped with that (the concern about getting married young/before graduating probably differs, so this may not be an issue for you).  Also think about when you will plan the wedding and how much planning you need to do.  I found that wedding planning only happened during school breaks, so just think about how you will fit that in.  Lastly, when I got engaged we were planning to move across the country, but the plans fell through. I don't know how certain your plans are, but if they are not certain I would think about waiting to decide on a date until you have a better idea (I wish I would have).  

mbross3

I totally agree with PP - it's your decision and if you and your fi are comfortable with a summer '15 wedding then go for it! Your parents may be freaking out a bit now - but it sounds like you have a plan.

The only thing I would say in favor of waiting until after graduation (although I agree with the post above about the "too young" comments) is that sometimes changing your marital status can effect how you pay for your education. If either of you are receiving loans or scholarships to pay for college- you need to check to make sure that being married does not change or make you uneligible. I am currently a law student and one of my very good friends is holding her wedding after we graduate for this very reason! If she were married before graduation she would no longer be eligible for her scholarship. Just something more to consider if you haven't already! That being said- best of luck!!

JCbride2015

Congratulations!  If you and Fi are paying and this is what you really want, go for it.  I also suggest looking into how your marriage will affect any scholarships or financial aid you receive.

I'll add my .02 here just as an opinion, take it or leave it.  I think you should wait.  While you are both still in college full time, it will be hard to really set up a household and feel like full-fledged adults.  I've been with Fi since high school and I think our relationship really deepened after we graduated college and moved in together. Allow yourself this time to enjoy a long engagement, have plenty of time to save up and plan, and grow together.  After two years in the workforce, I went back to law school, so we aren't getting married until I graduate (we'll be old fogies by then!)  Waiting until you graduate college is nbd in terms of your life together, but I think will make a big difference on your stress level planning, and starting your relationship off on a strong foot.

winelover123

Honestly, I'd wait. I did in fact wait. One of my friends did not wait and it was pretty hard on her (not saying that it will be for you). H went into a new job after graduation, and when he was hired he just let them know he'd need the wedding day off and he was hoping for a vacation right after for the honeymoon.

bethsmiles

I would wait too. In fact, I am waiting. Like @winelover123 some of my friends didn't wait and it's been rough for them, it wouldn't necessarily be for you but I think it would mean a lot less stress to wait the extra year until you are done with school.

I also think it's important to hear out your parents concerns. They know you well and want what's best for you. It's worth listening to what they have to say and knowing why they think you should wait longer.

tljoslin69

Thanks everyone! You have all helped us out a lot with this. We are talking about it more and plan on waiting until the end of the summer to see where we stand before making a final decision. It seems like a lot of people have managed graduating and getting married in the same year so I'm not as worried anymore. Thanks again for the honest opinions