How to limit invites to LARGE family...

AshbyC4

My FB has a HUGE family (his mom is one of 9 and his dad is one of 10).  We are paying for the wedding ourselves and the FB frankly doesn't really want to invite any of his family except immediate, however I am a very family person and don't really have that much family on my side like he does so we are going to invite more of his family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.)....but how do you know where to cut off?  Do you invite just those relatives that are actually around? Do you invite all (even out of town) and just hope that don't make it??  Also, what about cutting off age for kids?  Is anyone doing that?  I hear of people saying no kids, but I'm thinking maybe no kids until 10? or 12?  

I could really use some guidance on this as we need to make these decisions and order invites ASAP... : /

Thanks in advance!

CMGragain

We had a similar problem with daughter's wedding.  Her FI had a huge Asian family that all needed to be invited.  Our family was minimal.
It is ultimately your decision.  There are no rules.  You invite whom you want to invite.  If you don't want kids, then don't invite them.  Just be sure that you can host everyone properly by giving them food and refreshments and a place to sit down. 

AddieCake

We invited only people who are in our lives on a regular basis.

emmyg65

We invited in circles: all siblings and their families, all aunts and uncles, all first cousins. My husband has a larger family that me, so we just invited his cousins that he's close with. 

AshbyC4

Ok next question...if we limited it to children possibly over 12 or something, what is the most tactful way to tell people this? Do people really put that on the invitation or just call and tell those that it applies to?

CMGragain

Never, never put anything in an invitation about who is NOT invited!  It is horrible rude!  You simply address the invitation to the people you are inviting.  If someone responds with the names of their children included, you have to make a phone call and say, "I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding, but we cannot accommodate the children (No explanation)."  They will either apologize and accept, or say that they cannot come.  Your correct answer is "I'm sorry.  You will be missed."

misscoffeeplease

AddieL73 said:

We invited only people who are in our lives on a regular basis.

This. We are in the same dilemma because we have a large family. We are only inviting the family members we talk on a regular basis.