I'm having second thoughts

kayla2536

NOT about marrying my fiance. About having a normal wedding. 

I just can't seem to justify spending thousands of dollars on a party to satisfy everyone else. I'm all for eloping and throwing a party afterwards but my fiance isn't sold on the idea and I don't want him to regret anything since it's OUR day, not just mine. 

So instead we were thinking of having a small, intimate ceremony with immediate family (mom, dad, siblings, grandparents) and best friends. Then have a party for everyone and have food, open bar, DJ etc. and just spend maybe $5k on that and a couple hundred for ceremony. 

We already have a deposit down on a venue ($850) but can get 1/2 back as long as they can re-book it, which I'm sure they would. Then instead of the place we were going to have it at just rent a hall or something at an Elks club/VFW and just decorate it however we want. 

Advice please!!!! I just want to marry my fiance and then party afterwards. 

[Deleted User]

If you are both happy with the second option, then no reason you shouldn't go for it. You have the right idea when saying its "our" day. I didn't want half of the stuff my husband wanted, but he wanted them so it made them important.You need to find that happy compromise for the two of you and you will end up happy with how things turn out.

kayla2536

I just really want to elope then throw a Halloween party or something. Our original date is 10-25 so Idk. 

bvstudio1

Ha, I had to double check to see if I actually wrote this post. I feel EXACTLY the same. We also put a deposit on a venue in June, but decided to move the wedding up and have the reception later. We are now getting married in less then 2 weeks at my sister's house. The whole thing will cost about $1500. Everyone we invited is coming (about 20 adults and 10 kids). I am still getting a cake, a dress and having a photographer. I was thinking the same thing as you - still have the reception at the later date. But now that I am getting actual quotes we won't be able to do it for less then $9000 with photographer, DJ, food, etc.  We're both in our 30s, homeowners, and this is his 2nd marriage. We are seriously considering cancelling the big reception in June and putting the money towards some house upgrades.

Lisa50

Allow yourself the freedom to break out of expectations of hosting a "normal" wedding.  Please.  Meeting others' expectations can often create headaches and stress that's just not worth it.

Remember, you need just a bride, groom and officiant to get married (once you have the license)... the rest is fluff.  As long as you and your fiance are in synch and happy about your plans, you'll be all set.

Good luck with planning and executing the wedding YOU want.  Cheers!

artbyallie

If you're willing to spend $5k on a party, use that as your wedding budget. A wedding reception is just a type of party, after all. You can cut costs by doing things like getting a grocery store cake instead of one from a bakery.

Peavy

The ceremony will cost just about the same whether you have 20 guests or 200.  The pricey part is the reception, whether you have it right after the wedding, or choose to postpone it until a party later.  And you will still have to do something for the guests who do attend your wedding.

If you've got $5,000 for a party, as PP said, just make that your wedding budget.  But do it all at once.

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_im-having-second-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:38a3a3bc-614c-427f-bed7-338df0947050Post:7962d7ab-f5e9-4f62-b21a-bbae8a6b6649">I'm having second thoughts</a>:
[QUOTE]NOT about marrying my fiance. About having a normal wedding. <strong> I just can't seem to justify spending thousands of dollars on a party to satisfy everyone else</strong>. I'm all for eloping and throwing a party afterwards but my fiance isn't sold on the idea and I don't want him to regret anything since it's OUR day, not just mine.  <strong>So instead we were thinking of having a small, intimate ceremony</strong> with immediate family (mom, dad, siblings, grandparents) and best friends. <strong>Then have a party for everyone and have food, open bar, DJ etc. </strong>and just spend maybe $5k on that and a couple hundred for ceremony.  We already have a deposit down on a venue ($850) but can get 1/2 back as long as they can re-book it, which I'm sure they would. Then instead of the place we were going to have it at just rent a hall or something at an Elks club/VFW and just decorate it however we want.  Advice please!!!! I just want to marry my fiance and then party afterwards. 
Posted by kfritz36[/QUOTE]

I responded on another board to this same post (please put XP if you post the same question across boards).  And I'll say again, how is having a smaller ceremony saving you money?? You're still planning the big party. Why not just have everyone come to the ceremony then? Am I missing something???

anssett

You sound like the sanest bride I've seen on here in a while. Rock on. I like your plan.

shortyrise

My wedding budget is $5000 so I agree with everyone else you mine as well do the whole thing if your gonna soend that much for just A party.It's all about cutting corners alot of places you can have the ceremony and they will flip the room for you for your reception. That way you can get everything for one price and one place

Fernella

We have an intimate 4 person ceremony in August 2013 and this year we're having a 'wedding celebration' for 50 people at about $5,000.  I loved the intimacy of our private ceremony and would not change it for the world.