I 'HAVE" to send invites to people I don't even know.

McCMal

My mother is remarried to her first husband, and my half brothers's father. So they're all one family again, and she is insisting that I invite a bunch of HIS family, most of whom I've met once or not at all. If I don't it's an 'insult'.

Our wedding is in Colorado, my fiance's family is all here and the rest of my family and my stepfather's family is in Utah. We're not expecting a lot of my side to show up, and his side is already up in the 150's, and we're trying to keep it under 200 and we still have friends to invite. 

Problem is, my step father's family is wealthy and my mom thinks it's funny not to give me a strait answer on if they'd actually come out to the wedding. I don't care for my step father, or his family very much and my mom can't get it through her mind that my fiance has a BIG family and because most of mine is still back in Utah, I'm not really planning on extended family from my side. 

So, I can't decide what to do. I don't want to send them save the dates and not an invitations, but some of them have requested invites. Is there anything I can send to people that's more of an announcement? They really just want the card with pictures on it to put on their fridge and throw away in a month, since they don't even know who I am.  

CMGragain

Who is paying for your wedding?  If your mother is paying, then she gets to say who is invited.
You can decide to pay for your wedding yourself, and then you can invite, or not invite, whomever you wish.
Wedding announcements are only sent AFTER the marriage has taken place.  It would be extremely rude to send an announcement of a party to a person who is not invited to that party.  They are usually very simple, and do not include pictures or information about the wedding other than date and place.

McCMal

We are paying for the wedding. 

And I hear that 'You can invite who you want' a lot. But There is a lot of tension already between my step father and I already. I doubt he even thought about me inviting his family, but now that my mom has put in in his head, he has it that I have to. 

So I'm going to have to end up sending save the dates and invites to 20 people I don't know, and probably wont come (I Think). I'm just afraid that now my mom will have me inviting distant relatives just to be polite.

I was just hoping maybe there was another option, to make them feel included but not asking them to fly to eastern colorado for a wedding for someone they aren't even related to

AddieCake

Unfortunately, if you fear not inviting them will bring drama and tension to your family, there isn't a lot you can do. I'm sorry you're dealing with this because you shouldn't have to invite these people, especially since you are paying for your own wedding.

CMGragain

BuckarooChaser said:

We are paying for the wedding. 

And I hear that 'You can invite who you want' a lot. But There is a lot of tension already between my step father and I already. I doubt he even thought about me inviting his family, but now that my mom has put in in his head, he has it that I have to. 

So I'm going to have to end up sending save the dates and invites to 20 people I don't know, and probably wont come (I Think). I'm just afraid that now my mom will have me inviting distant relatives just to be polite.

I was just hoping maybe there was another option, to make them feel included but not asking them to fly to eastern colorado for a wedding for someone they aren't even related to

A wedding invitation isn't a court summons.  They shouldn't feel obligated to come to your wedding, but sending them an invitation does give them the choice.  (By the way, I'm in Grand Junction!)
I do sympathize.  I paid for daughter's wedding a few years ago, and her FI was from a huge Asian family, none of whom knew me.  I paid for a reception for 135 people, only 8 of whom I knew.  Never mind.  It was worth it to make my daughter happy.

HisGirlFriday13

If you are paying for the wedding, I say you give your mother and stepfather a set number of invites and tell them, 'You may invite X number of people, no more, and we will need their names and addresses no later than Y date.'

Make sure you make it clear to them that this is a number of people (10 invites = 20 bodies if they're all in relationships), not 10 invites they can use to invited 10 families of six people each.

Let them figure out who's important enough to be invited and who's not.