complicated etiquette situation

[Deleted User]

Hopefully they will break up prior to your wedding. I think the best thing you can do is keep the door open and continue to invite him to family functions and when he is around, ask him neutral type of questions like, do you have a favorite sport? Mom never mentioned it, but do you have any kids? Just basic trying to get to know you questions. When you talk to your mom ask her about him (like how is doing). Basically show that you are trying to be respectivful (basically kill him with kindness) and show your mom that that you are trying to be open about their relationship. Hopefully then in time she will open her eyes and when she does, because you've been supportive she will feel more open to talking to you instead of feeling like she might be getting a "i told you so" talk. If she is still with him, hopefully the killing him with kindess trick will have gotten him to turn around and be more respectful of you.