Bridesmaids with diff dresses of same color.

jpence21

I am letting my bridesmaids choose their own style of dress, in a specific color, and I will probably keep them in the same material so that the colors don't look different shades.  I will approve the dresses of course, to ensure that they compliment my dress, but I really want my bridesmaids (who are all very close to me) to feel comfortable and pretty.  I want them to potentially be able to wear the dresses again so the money isn't "wasted."  I am trying to decide if they should wear the same shoes?  Or just the same color.  What do you all think??

Thanks!!

manateehugger

Ok, well they don't have to compliment your dress. You'll be in a giant white gown.

You could pick a designer you like and have them pick from among those dresses. I think having the dress "approved" when you're giving them free reign just seems a little off and controlling. What if one of your girls finds a dress within your specifications and you say no? That seems unfair.

If you want them to wear the same shoe, you need to purchase those shoes for them. So if you can't afford that, just specify a common color (e.g. "Any black pumps you own will work"). No one cares about their shoes though, so I'd let them wear something they already own. 

KatWAG

PDKH said:

Ok, well they don't have to compliment your dress. You'll be in a giant white gown.

You could pick a designer you like and have them pick from among those dresses. I think having the dress "approved" when you're giving them free reign just seems a little off and controlling. What if one of your girls finds a dress within your specifications and you say no? That seems unfair.

If you want them to wear the same shoe, you need to purchase those shoes for them. So if you can't afford that, just specify a common color (e.g. "Any black pumps you own will work"). No one cares about their shoes though, so I'd let them wear something they already own. 

all of this.

Belthil

Exactly what @PDKH said. The only thing a BM is responsible to pay for is her dress. If you want anything else specific it's up to you to pay for (ie. matching shoes or jewelry, professional hair/make-up).

It sounds as if you want them not-matching but still cohesive. The easiest way for everyone involved is for you to pick a designer in their budgets, colour and fabric type then trust the girls to pick something. It would be reasonable for you to pick a length if you wanted that to be specific too.

delujm0

Pick a designer with a lot of options, so you can select a color and fabirc and let the girls pick whatever style they want from there.  Alfred Seung, David's Bridal, J. Crew, and a bunch of other places make this easy.  Make sure you pick a designer that fits everyone's individual budget.  it would be a bummer if the girl with the lowest budget didn't have as wide a selection of dresses as the girls with bigger budgets just because she couldn't afford it.

 

If you demand certain shoes, jewelry, haistyles, etc (anything other than the dress), you haveto buy it for them.  No one will remember the BMs feet.  I'd suggest just tellin them what color shoe to wear and letting them do whatever they want so that they can maybe wear something they alread have,

 

Also lose the "i want them to be able to wear it again."  This will probably not happen.  Most BM dresses look like nothing but BM dresses, and most BMs will never wear their dress for another event.  If one of your BMs re-wears their dress, consider it a victory.  But don't expect it to ever happen.

melbenso

I'm also having my bridesmaids wear the same color but pick their dresses.  I just asked them to wear shoes that were all the same color.  (I let them decide what color and they unanimously came up with silver).  Also, I didn't "approve" their dresses.  The point of letting them pick their own dresses was that they would have something that they were comfortable in and liked.  Each picked a totally different dress: 2 long, 2 short; 2 strapless, 2 with straps; and two different materials - and none remotely similar to the the style of my dress.  But they are each happy and I kind of like that my pictures won't be all matchy-matchy.  I hope their shoes are just as different as their dresses.

KateJ16

I actually did this as well - I chose a color, material, and a designer (Alfred Angelo) that was within budget and let them pick.  I went with everyone when they picked their dresses, just so I could have very minimal input (one of my BMs is a tall willowy girl who tends to wear dresses that actually just look a like a silky t-shirt - they always look awesome on her, but I tend to think they also look pretty casual).  In the end - all the girls ended up finding awesome dresses by a more expensive designer, so I just chose a similar color by that designer (Bill Levkoff) and let them order from any place they wanted to save money if possible.

As for shoes - I just said something comfy (as two girls are pregnant) and something they can for-sure walk down the aisle in.  I figure that no one would really be paying attention to their feet!  But they did just like PP said and all decided on silver shoes together.

jpence21

I guess I didn't really mean compliment my dress, but I don't want my girls wearing strapless since I'm not and it is a fall wedding.  My maids are my little sister and two best friends and my younger cousin, and the reason I want to sort of approve the dresses is because of the relationship I have with each girl, they all want my honest opinion of whether or not the dress actually looks good and they want me to like the dress too.  As for them wearing them again, maybe they won't.  My cousin is already planning on wearing hers to a homecoming dance which is great.  I just like for them to have the option! 

 

jpence21

PDKH said:

Ok, well they don't have to compliment your dress. You'll be in a giant white gown.

 

For the record, I won't be in a giant white gown, but a smaller, less traditional looking, ivory gown.  Cohesive-ness is what I'm going for.

jpence21

KateJ16 said:

I actually did this as well - I chose a color, material, and a designer (Alfred Angelo) that was within budget and let them pick.  I went with everyone when they picked their dresses, just so I could have very minimal input (one of my BMs is a tall willowy girl who tends to wear dresses that actually just look a like a silky t-shirt - they always look awesome on her, but I tend to think they also look pretty casual).  

Thank you!  This is exactly what I meant by approving the dresses.  I looked with my little cousin already, who lives out of town and can't be here when the rest of us dress search, and she picked two that she loved and I told her which I liked more and it's up to her and her mom, my aunt to decide which is the one for her.  

AddieCake

Just give them a shoe color. I have no idea what my bridesmaids' shoes looked like other than that they were tan or beige. 

lizzypoo96

agreed with everyone else! I found our dresses by Alexia and I took each girl shopping individually (starting with the pickiest) and let them pick their dresses. I love them so much I want to borrow one of them for my brother's wedding in September!

As far as shoes go, I told them "silver, nude, whatever floats your boat." They each decided individually that this was a good excuse to buy nice nude pumps, but that was on them!

Alexandrathgr8

jpence21 said:

I am letting my bridesmaids choose their own style of dress, in a specific color, and I will probably keep them in the same material so that the colors don't look different shades.  I will approve the dresses of course, to ensure that they compliment my dress, but I really want my bridesmaids (who are all very close to me) to feel comfortable and pretty.  I want them to potentially be able to wear the dresses again so the money isn't "wasted."  I am trying to decide if they should wear the same shoes?  Or just the same color.  What do you all think??

Thanks!!

I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with making sure the BM dresses look good with your dress. What happens if you have a beautiful ball gown and you let your bm's go and get a dress from macy's that's like linen or something? I don't think that would really match well.
 I'd make sure you give your gals a specific material- i've seen a lot of examples of "bm's picking their own dresses from all different stores" and my personal opinion is that they didn't look very good together. If one bm chooses a dress that is nightclub style(shimmery, blingy), and the other chooses and church style( conservative,flat colour) dress.. how will they look together?

I am having all my girls pick a dress in different shades of blue, in whatever style(but long)... i haven't decided the material yet (bc one of my girls may be prego by the time i get married and i heard satin isn't very forgiving, so i want them all to be comfortable).. but we will be getting them from DB. They have a wide range of costs all in my girl's financial zones.

Good luck!

Edited b/c i sounded too snarky for my taste. lol