Etiquette

Edit your registry! update

312Emily312Emily member
Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
edited April 2014 in Etiquette
Ok, so this should seem like common sense, but a couple we know has had their registry for a few months now, and their wedding is 5 months away.  They have massive amounts of duplicates. On their registry, there are five coffee makers and two vacuums, two Calphalon sets, two blenders, two food processors, and two different sets of fine china.  Also, there is like nothing under $100. Some of it is clearly being gift-grabby, and the ruder part is just being so lazy that they didn't edit their registry. I know their wedding is a few months away, but the save-the-dates are out and it's published on the internet.  Seriously, remove duplicates and edit your registry!


Update: So we got the invitation to this wedding.  On the lower left of the invitation is "formal reception to follow," and the wedding website elaborates on their idea of "formal dress" aka black tie optional.  Sorry, no such thing as formal dress or black tie optional for a wedding...  but at least they're only registered for two coffee makers now...
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Re: Edit your registry! update

  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    My cousins registry was like this. To point it out, I asked which set of x she would really like. No help. "Oh any of them. We're not picky."

    Ps - 91 place settings. Something like 50 towel sets. Batman and Star Wars twin sheets.
    melbelleupaurorajanettemrsfinnicasey8784
  • AprilH81 said:
    Inkdancer said:
    But what if they live in a two-story house? You simply must have a vacuum for upstairs and one for downstairs. And a coffeemaker in every room. And if your friends aren't dropping $500 on you for your wedding, they don't really love you.
    Actually, having a vacuum both upstairs and downstairs is AWESOME!!!!  When FI moved in he brought his Dyson with him so we don't have to lug the vacuum up and down the stairs anymore.  We vacuum way more often now.  lol
    Same here! And also two coffee pots would make me so much happier. But the fact of the matter is I actually have two kitchens so I'm kind of in a different situation than most. My house was originally a business with an apartment on top.
    jenniferurs
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    AprilH81 said:
    Inkdancer said:
    But what if they live in a two-story house? You simply must have a vacuum for upstairs and one for downstairs. And a coffeemaker in every room. And if your friends aren't dropping $500 on you for your wedding, they don't really love you.
    Actually, having a vacuum both upstairs and downstairs is AWESOME!!!!  When FI moved in he brought his Dyson with him so we don't have to lug the vacuum up and down the stairs anymore.  We vacuum way more often now.  lol
    My parents did this too! it was so much better then dragging one up and down the stairs.
    image



    Anniversary
  • My cousins registry was like this. To point it out, I asked which set of x she would really like. No help. "Oh any of them. We're not picky." Ps - 91 place settings. Something like 50 towel sets. Batman and Star Wars twin sheets.
    ewwww!  I know this couple thinks they have time, since they noted "our registry is a work in progress" on the registry page of their website, but uh, you sent out your save-the-dates, AND if you had time to go into a store and play with a scanner gun, you have time to come home and spend 20 minutes determining what you really need.  Also, saying it's a work in progress makes it sound like you'll be adding more later.
    image
  • I'm wondering if maybe they are trying to pick which one they actually want and haven't decided yet? I doubt they actually want 2 sets of china, several coffee makers, etc.
    melbelleup
  • 312Emily312Emily member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
    MrsAitch said:
    I'm wondering if maybe they are trying to pick which one they actually want and haven't decided yet? I doubt they actually want 2 sets of china, several coffee makers, etc.
    No, they probably don't.  The thing is, if you sent out your save-the-dates and have it published, it should be figured out by the time your guests start looking.  They've had the registry up for a while, so if they had the time to go to a store and play with the scanner gun, and months to think it over, they should have had time to cut the fat off the registry.

    Edited: spelling
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  • Jennja22 said:
    Are you close with these people?  Could you maybe mention (to the bride) something to the effect of "Your registry is so confusing!  I hope that people don't see it and get overwhelmed and decide not to get you anything*!" 

    or 

    "I'm going to BBB later, want to come along?  We can play with the waffle makers and decide which one you actually want" 

    or 

    "Check yourself before you wreck yourself"

    Ok the last one was a joke :)

    *And for the record, we all know not to expect gifts, but we also know they are nearly inevitable.  So, making a registry and then ending up with nothing would be disappointing - maybe that would motivate her? 
    I'm actually not friends with her.  She's part of a tacky couple that we're no longer friends with because the guy tried to undermine our relationship and also screamed in public at FI's ex-girlfriend a few years ago.  We legitimately don't know what the dude's deal is, but FI's best man has said he thinks it was jealousy. Also, they publicly talk about money (specifically, the bride's father's money).  She talks about all the trips her dad sends her on, and he talks about the girl's job offer (everyone in the social circle knows her starting salary), the girl's dad's money and credit cards, etc., etc. It's disgusting, and the guy was a horrible friend to FI and has thankfully moved away to go live with the bride's family (with no job) or something.  Due to a mutual friend meddling and saying they just had to invite us (why, I seriously don't know), we received a save-the-date for their wedding. I find the whole situation bizarre and am really glad FI is not insisting we go or reciprocate the invite for this. 

    So yeah, I can't tell the girl that I think she should edit her registry.  I can enjoy the fact that this is just another way in which she is tacky and annoying, though.
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    mrsfinni
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    chibiyui said:
    AprilH81 said:
    Inkdancer said:
    But what if they live in a two-story house? You simply must have a vacuum for upstairs and one for downstairs. And a coffeemaker in every room. And if your friends aren't dropping $500 on you for your wedding, they don't really love you.
    Actually, having a vacuum both upstairs and downstairs is AWESOME!!!!  When FI moved in he brought his Dyson with him so we don't have to lug the vacuum up and down the stairs anymore.  We vacuum way more often now.  lol
    My parents did this too! it was so much better then dragging one up and down the stairs.
    Oh, I would totally do it. I just wouldn't expect other people to buy me two $250 vacuums.

    Of course, my FI does all the vacuuming because of inner ear damage I got as a kid. The vibrations from the vacuum hurt me :C
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Well it sounds like they are douches. But, for a normal couple, it's possible to have duplicates of the same thing, because you scanned it twice or something. I saw that happened on our crate and barrel registry; a couple things that I don't think we scanned ended up on there. But yeah they should have edited it, at some point in the last few months. I mean 5 coffee makers is ridiculous. Though, I could see registering for 2 china patterns. I don't think it's necessary, but it's not rude.
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  • Depending on the registry, some items are "auto-added" or pre-loaded by the store.
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Could they have over-registered with the full intention of returning for cash?
    ________________________________


  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Could they have over-registered with the full intention of returning for cash?

    This. They're going to return the vast majority of it for cash. I hope the store will only give them credit. Major tacky.
    mrsfinni
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Could they have over-registered with the full intention of returning for cash?

    This. They're going to return the vast majority of it for cash. I hope the store will only give them credit. Major tacky.
  • 312Emily312Emily member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2014

    It was Macy's, BBB, and Crate & Barrel.  Having registered at 2 of those myself, I know they don't add items just for starting a registry. These people just went and registered and didn't have the good sense to pop online in the days following and make sure their registry wasn't ridiculous.
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    KittyKaty20

  • It was Macy's, BBB, and Crate & Barrel.  Having registered at 2 of those myself, I know they don't add items just for starting a registry. These people just went and registered and didn't have the good sense to pop online in the days following and make sure their registry wasn't ridiculous.

    I also did Macy*s, & BBB. There were a few bits of the registry packet that contained pages with a barcode to scan...it would load all the items on that page.

    However...they seem lazy, your "friends".

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  • For the record I am sitting here with my fiancé trying to edit our registry trying to edit it. I went in the store to scan without him per his request so there are multiples of several items so that he could help me choose. He now doesn't want to edit it for a while because the wedding is still a few months away (May 3 not far off) and he sees no reason to do it sooner. He doesn't care that it's public and people might be judging us or side eyeing our several coffee makers because no one is going to buy gifts for months according to him. That's probably what happened to this poor girl. It's not like her wedding is two weeks away--I think those of you judging her are the tacky ones. Why are you looking at the registry of a wedding you aren't even going to anyway?
  • Well if it matters we didn't do save the dates or send out invites yet and our website is password protected, but if you search our names on the knot you'll see it. Believe me, I am trying to get him to see that this needs done like yesterday but he is all "what's the rush!?" I wish I could make it private for a while, but when I went to the store, once I scanned something it was instantly visible online (I checked on my phone).
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited January 2014
    MrsAitch said:
    Well if it matters we didn't do save the dates or send out invites yet and our website is password protected, but if you search our names on the knot you'll see it. Believe me, I am trying to get him to see that this needs done like yesterday but he is all "what's the rush!?" I wish I could make it private for a while, but when I went to the store, once I scanned something it was instantly visible online (I checked on my phone).

    If he doesn't want to do it, then get on there and do it yourself. You're giving him the chance to have a say in how it gets edited, and he's turning that down. Too bad. Don't risk offending someone badly months before the wedding even takes place. If something is really important to him, change it later.
    kmmssg
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited January 2014
    DP grumble.
  • People get offended by the weirdest things.
  • This thread just inspired me to edit mine that I started yesterday!
    312Emily
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    MrsAitch said:
    Well if it matters we didn't do save the dates or send out invites yet and our website is password protected, but if you search our names on the knot you'll see it. Believe me, I am trying to get him to see that this needs done like yesterday but he is all "what's the rush!?" I wish I could make it private for a while, but when I went to the store, once I scanned something it was instantly visible online (I checked on my phone).
    1. We're going to a wedding in October and I've already registry-stalked them so if guests can find it, they probably will and will judge WAY ahead of when you think they'll be looking.
    2. We received a handful of wedding gifts pretty far in advance of the wedding off of our registry.  The guests had received a save the date with our wedding website on it (that had our registry info on a discreet page). 
    3. If you really want him to have an input, sit down with your computer while he's just hanging out and say "do you want the waffle maker that shapes the waffles like hello kitty or do you want the one with the super rocket attachment that gives you zero-gravity waffles?"  (You may insert your own options of course).  He'll either engage and give his opinion or you can tell him you're editing without him because it really does need to get done.

    312EmilyKeptInStitches

  • MrsAitch said:
    Well if it matters we didn't do save the dates or send out invites yet and our website is password protected, but if you search our names on the knot you'll see it. Believe me, I am trying to get him to see that this needs done like yesterday but he is all "what's the rush!?" I wish I could make it private for a while, but when I went to the store, once I scanned something it was instantly visible online (I checked on my phone).
    1. We're going to a wedding in October and I've already registry-stalked them so if guests can find it, they probably will and will judge WAY ahead of when you think they'll be looking.
    2. We received a handful of wedding gifts pretty far in advance of the wedding off of our registry.  The guests had received a save the date with our wedding website on it (that had our registry info on a discreet page). 
    3. If you really want him to have an input, sit down with your computer while he's just hanging out and say "do you want the waffle maker that shapes the waffles like hello kitty or do you want the one with the super rocket attachment that gives you zero-gravity waffles?"  (You may insert your own options of course).  He'll either engage and give his opinion or you can tell him you're editing without him because it really does need to get done.
    Zero-gravity waffles may be hard to cut. Hello Kitty is the clear choice.
    image
    KittyKaty20casey8784
  • Update: So we got the invitation to this wedding.  On the lower left of the invitation is "formal reception to follow," and the wedding website elaborates on their idea of "formal dress" aka black tie optional.  Sorry, no such thing as formal dress for a wedding...  but at least they're only registered for two coffee makers now...
    image
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Inkdancer said:
    But what if they live in a two-story house? You simply must have a vacuum for upstairs and one for downstairs. And a coffeemaker in every room. And if your friends aren't dropping $500 on you for your wedding, they don't really love you.
    Hey now, don't knock that idea!

    My parents just bought a vacuum for upstairs because they are tired of lugging the bigger, "downstairs" vacuum up and down and up and down. . . .

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Could they have over-registered with the full intention of returning for cash?
    This was my thought
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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    larrygaga said:
    Could they have over-registered with the full intention of returning for cash?
    This was my thought
    Or they could be like my mom, who thought we should register for multiple things at different stores (a blender at target and bed bath and beyond) so people can choose the store that is closer to them. We have a ton of small town guests from different small towns so we tried to split costs over two stores that covered all our guests. 

    We didn't register for two blenders, but my mom really really pushed it because of the small town thing (so if grandma really wanted the blender it would be on her store for sure). Then she wanted us to registry stalk and take the other blender off if someone bought the other one.  Waaaay too much work for me. 

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  • larrygaga said:
    Could they have over-registered with the full intention of returning for cash?
    This was my thought
    Or they could be like my mom, who thought we should register for multiple things at different stores (a blender at target and bed bath and beyond) so people can choose the store that is closer to them. We have a ton of small town guests from different small towns so we tried to split costs over two stores that covered all our guests. 

    We didn't register for two blenders, but my mom really really pushed it because of the small town thing (so if grandma really wanted the blender it would be on her store for sure). Then she wanted us to registry stalk and take the other blender off if someone bought the other one.  Waaaay too much work for me. 
    Except that the coffee makers are at the same store, and then they have an espresso machine registered for at another store.
    image
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