September 2014 Weddings

Weird/Rude comments?

Has anyone ever gotten any weird or possibly rude comments, advice, etc. from other people? I swear I've gotten asked 3-4 times this past month when I plan on changing my name and why we chose to be engaged so long. We will be engaged a total of 17 months which I didn't think was that bad (although, like I mentioned in CC seems like forever somedays lol) and if I plan on changing my name right away. The last comment wouldn't bug me so much but, people give me such weird looks when I mention I'm NOT changing my name unless once we have kids, I might. Ugh. I try to ignore it but, it's driving me nuts.

Anyone else relate?
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Re: Weird/Rude comments?

  • Most of the comments I get are from my bridesmaids...with 6, you are bound to have differing opinions.  That's one thing that I don't let bother me anymore.  My fiance is so calm and relaxed, that he's really helped me not stress over things anymore.  The comments are meaningless...it's our day, our wedding, my fiance and I have to like it, not anyone else.  Same goes for you with changing your name.  You have your reasons and that is all that matters.  Is it really effecting these people if you change it or not?  Chances are, most likely no...so just "keep calm and carry on" girl! :)
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  • Well said @dpelkey724! You're right, they are meaningless comments and just need to forget what people say.
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    dpelkey724
  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    FI and I are 29 so the most often asked question is "Are you immediately having babies after the wedding?!" uuuuuuggh NO! We will eventually but we still have some life to live and traveling to do geez 

                                                                     

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  • People are so obnoxious!!  FI is 33, I am 31, we'll be 34/32 respectively by the time we get married. We were together for just over 3 years when we got engaged.  Prior people kept saying, "What's he waiting for?!" "You're not getting younger"  This started after about 18 months.  Before we were engaged, we house hunted & purchased a home.  I can't even count how many times I heard, "You're buying a house & you're not engaged?!?", "You're buying a house, so are you getting married?!?" @Jenn8984, I really don't get the baby thing too much, but I can only imagine that it will start coming more readily closer to the wedding & shortly after.  Especially because of our age.  I really find the baby thing a really touchy subject because I know so many people who have struggled, so I make it a point to NEVER ask anyone.
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    jenna8984
  • Ohh can't wait for the "when are you having kids?" comments, haha. I also agree with you @HH2Be. I had a friend who couldn't get pregnant for over a year so I know her struggle and would not want anyone else to feel badly if they had problems TTC.
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  • @Couggal12 my FI and I definitely get the long engagement comments and it will only be 15 months. I think it's largely because my stepsister got engaged and married in just over 6 months and she was only 23. By comparison I'm sure it makes my family wonder why practically ancient me (26) is taking my time. It really drove them nuts that FI and I did no real wedding planning for 2 months after we got engaged because we wanted to relax and enjoy ourselves for a little bit. Thank goodness those comments have stopped now! I've only gotten a couple 'when are you having kids' comments so far and those have mostly come from coworkers that I don't know well. It's very odd to me that when you have a major life event people seem to feel they have a right to know your private business.
    HH2Be
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2014
    FI and I have been together for 7 years, and that is hugely divisive. His mother straight up told me to my face that she thought we were too young to be engaged... after 5 years together! On the other hand, my entire family has been badgering me about when we were getting married for... oh, 5 years or so? Once he showed up to my great-grandpa's funeral, they figured it was serious, even though we were only 20 and 21 at the time.
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  • I had a co-worker tell me that I won't be doing all this excessive planning on my 2nd Wedding......Excuse me I only plan on getting married once.... She said yeah that's what I said too......I couldn't get out the breakroom quick enough......Nobody should go into a marriage thinking about the end & a possible 2nd marriage. UGH! Some people are just rude & don't know it.
  • @tlmcghe1, OMG, that is so rude!!  Unbelievable!

    I'd like to add to the weird/rude comments.  Over the weekend I met some of FI's cousins for the first time.  His one cousin's husband flat out asks me, ”so you guys popping out kids right after the wedding?”  I had just met the guy!  Luckily FI's uncle heard the comment & said loud enough ”who says that? ”  I just sorta laughed it off & said we do plan on children & it will be entirely up to nature as to when.  Seriously, do people not think?
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  • Wow, super rude @tlmcghe1! Sounds like she's super bitter about her previous marriage and wants to bring others down with her.

    @HH2Be FI & I keep getting comments about kids too lately. I would like to wait until January 2015 to start TTC but, it will completely depend on our living and financial situation. I get that a lot of our friends have children already and are just excited for us, but it's like come on.
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  • Yes all the time... Most came from my former MOH
    "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History" ~Laurel Thatcher Ulrich~
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  • I am 40 I will 41 by the time we get married lets not talk about the kids question or the 50-11 other rude arse questions I get I try not to talk about my wedding cause I am fed up I have been unemployed for almost 3 years on and off so we have been engaged almost 2 years by the time we do finally get married and again I am fed up with the questions and why folks think it is ok to ask... I am a bit irritated can you tell lol
    "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History" ~Laurel Thatcher Ulrich~
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  • Yeah, one of my bridesmaids told me that my shoes looked like stripper shoes...umm rude. And when I told her that was rude she said..."I said lol". Saying lol after it doesn't make it any less rude. Sheesh...some people!
  • The initial reaction from several of my friends after I announced the engagement was "so when's the baby due?!" Ugh. Come on. And "lol" or "jk" doesn't make it less rude! Lots of "so... wedding in September, baby in June?" comments too. Yes we want kids, no we don't plan on waiting forever (at wedding time we'll be 31 and 33) but unless you're my gyno, it's NEVER appropriate to ask!!!

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    HH2BeInkdancer
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