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NWR: Would you go?

climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
in Chit Chat
A friend of FI's passed away. I didn't know this person. I met him very briefly back in July for about 10 seconds. I don't know this man's wife or his family. The wake is tonight. When I told FI that I would make sure I had dinner ready before he had to leave, he seemed surprised that I wasn't coming with him. I feel very weird going to a wake for someone I didn't know. Unfortunately I've been to many wakes before, so it has nothing to do with me being scared or nervous. 
Many of FI's friends will be there. Actually, a few of my friends will be there too. I feel like if I attend, they'll be looking at me like, "Why are you here? You didn't know him." 
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Re: NWR: Would you go?

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    PolarBearFitzPolarBearFitz member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
    If my FI was going to a funeral of a friend of his I would be going with him to support him. It really doesn't matter if I don't know the person in question since I will be there to support my FI who did know them. I think supporting your SO is more important than whether or not you knew the person.

    If I was one of the friends at the funeral I would assume you were in attendance to support your FI. I wouldn't be wondering why you are at the funeral because you didn't know the person. I would probably be more focused on my grief and supporting my friends. That's just me though.
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    karlipreglerkarlipregler member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I've had to go to countless wakes and funerals for people I didn't know. It is awkward, but it's definitely more of supporting the people who have lost someone, and being there for them in their time of need.

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    Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I've gone to funerals with my parents when I didn't know the person. FI's aunt passed in fall 2012, never met her, but still went to the memorial service- while you don't know the person, you're supporting your FI, and or the deceased's family just by being there. It was a little awkward with FI's aunt's passing, as it was also the first time I'd met a whole bunch of cousins and other aunts and uncles. I merely introduced myself, told them how sorry I was for their loss, and quietly offered to help in any way I could (they had the memorial service at the club house in the aunt's community- I ran around getting drinks for family, helping dish out food, clean up, etc- feedback to FI's dad was very positive). Two months later, we ended up adopting the aunt's kitties so they wouldn't go to a shelter. I'd have felt more awkward adopting them if I hadn't gone to the service, despite the 4.5 hour drive each way.
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yes, i would go to the wake.  I would not take time off for the funeral though.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    tmclawchicktmclawchick member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I would go with him as well. As PPs pointed out, this is more about being there for your FI.

     

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    melbelleupmelbelleup member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    If my FI wanted me there, I'd be there without a question.
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    doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    years ago, I have gone with FI (then BF) to a funeral for one of his relatives that I had not met before just to support him.  He really appreciated that I went with him.  
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    lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I would ask FI is he wants you to go.  Shortly before H and I got married, an acquaintance of his died.  I didn't know him so I wasn't planning to go, but I asked him if he wanted me to and he said I didn't need to, so I didn't.
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