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Vow Renewal - May 2015 (15 years)

Me and my husband are in the process of beginning planning on our vow renewal.  This will actually be our wedding verses our parents wedding.  We didn't invite our friends.  We only had our family and people from church which knew the in laws which meant a bunch of old people.  So, this will be all about us and our little family. (we have a seven year old little girl)..  We recently separated in August 2013 and recently got back together in December 2013.  We were married in May 2000. So, I decided to do it after our wedding anniversary.. Im wanting to have it outside at our house because our house is beautiful not to mention free to use.. We have three acres and pool.  So, I have the location. I have the colors.. now comes the other details.. I didn't really have much of a choice the first time.   im going to assume 50-100 people.  I have started looking at dresses.  I want a short dress this time.. (not to mention I am probably 75 pounds lighter this go round verses our first wedding).. I don't want any negative comments.  I read some and people said this isn't a wedding but in reality it is.  just because you don't have a piece of paper this go round you are still publicly committing to your spouse in front of your friends and family and its important for individuals to know this it also can help heal a broken marriage if you are trying to work on it. 

Re: Vow Renewal - May 2015 (15 years)

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    It isn't a wedding, it's a vow renewal.  15 years seems like an appropriate amount of years to have a vow renewal, particularly after a separation.  

    What's your question?
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    Me and my husband are in the process of beginning planning on our vow renewal.  This will actually be our wedding verses our parents wedding.  We didn't invite our friends.  We only had our family and people from church which knew the in laws which meant a bunch of old people.  So, this will be all about us and our little family. (we have a seven year old little girl)..  We recently separated in August 2013 and recently got back together in December 2013.  We were married in May 2000. So, I decided to do it after our wedding anniversary.. Im wanting to have it outside at our house because our house is beautiful not to mention free to use.. We have three acres and pool.  So, I have the location. I have the colors.. now comes the other details.. I didn't really have much of a choice the first time.   im going to assume 50-100 people.  I have started looking at dresses.  I want a short dress this time.. (not to mention I am probably 75 pounds lighter this go round verses our first wedding).. I don't want any negative comments.  I read some and people said this isn't a wedding but in reality it is.  just because you don't have a piece of paper this go round you are still publicly committing to your spouse in front of your friends and family and its important for individuals to know this it also can help heal a broken marriage if you are trying to work on it. 
    This isn't a wedding. It is a vow renewal. A wedding is when you marry your SO. What you are planning is a vow renewal where you will restate your vows and commitments you made to each other on your wedding day 15 years ago.

    I think you need to let the fact that your parents controlled every aspect of your wedding day go.  It has been 15 years, time to move on.  Plan your vow renewal how you and your husband want, but please do not call it or think if it as a wedding because it is not.

    And as BlueBird said, what exactly is your question?

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    UGH, some of you posters make me want to smack my head into a wall.  Who cares if she calls it a wedding or a birthday party for that matter.  If, in her vision, it is a wedding, then so be it.  I think it sounds like a great idea and a way to re-affirm your commitment to each other.  Too many people are not willing to put in the amount of work that you two obviously did to keep your family intact.  I think your home is a great place.  Just make sure there is ample space for parking and bathroom.  Also, check out your homeowners insurance in case somebody gets injured on your property during the event.  Make sure there are no city/town codes against any of the above.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited January 2014
    But it's not a wedding. It is a vow renewal. Why call it something that it is not? Why not just be proud of the fact that you worked through your issues and that you want to reaffirm your vows with a vow renewal?

    I'm sorry but OP if you were my friend and you were going around talking about your wedding plans I would be confused and wondering when you got a divorce.  Just call it what it is rather then trying to make up for something that you weren't completely thrilled with (aka your actual wedding).

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    some of you guys are really JERKS!!! i mean to me its a freaking wedding if you don't want to give any suggestions or help then keep out.. i mean its a wedding.. the only difference we already have the signed piece of paper.. we are making a comittment in front of our family and friends regarding our relationship.. i freaking pastor will be there too.. 
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    People are not jerks for telling you the truth. No one is bashing the idea of you having a vow renewal. 

    I think what you are planning sounds lovely...you just need to get passed the fact that it is not a wedding. It doesn't make the occasion any less important or meaningful...on the contrary I think it is impressive that you have been to together 15 years and overcome some rough spots. Celebrate your marriage and the history and love that has endured for the past 15 years. DOn't sell that marriage short by calling your celebration of the marriage a wedding. To call it a wedding suggest the marriage does not exist. Honor your marriage by having a vow renewal :)

    Please do not degrade that "piece of paper." There are countless couples who are not allowed to have that "pice of paper" that would give anything to be allowed to marry the one they love.

    If you have any specific questions I'm sure you'll find plenty of people of here who are happy to help you out.

    GL! :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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    Renewing vows after near-separation and 15 years of marriage = lovely and meaningful.

    Dressing up as a bride and acting out a wedding = putting on a play and saying that 'piece of paper' was and is meaningless for yourselves and everyone else who has or wants one.
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    What a sad way to treat the past fifteen years of happy marriage by saying it was just a piece of paper... It's not a wedding because you are already wed, but it sounds like a lovely vow renewal in the making.
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    The etiquette for vow renewals is different than wedding etiquette.  Here is an excellent site for vow renewal planing.  Notice that it says "Vow renewals are NOT second weddings."  Good luck with your planning, but do check this site for guidelines.

    http://www.idotaketwo.com/vow_renewal_etiquette.html
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