I wanted to share this story because I was reading a thread about how sometimes posters on TK can be "mean."
A few years ago I was a BM for a good friend of mine. She decided her main color was going to be leopard print. She found a dress online that was a body hugging stretchy wrinkle proof one-size-fits-all monstrosity. It was floor length. She said all BMs were skinny and could pull it off. I didn't want to be caught dead in this dress. MOH's husband saw it and said "Peggy Bundy called, she wants her dress back." I would have been so embarrassed to wear that thing. And in a church! However, I was prepared to suck it up (and in) and wear it because I wanted to be a supportive friend. So while I tactfully didn't say positive things about the dress I also didn't say no to it. There are things a BM and a friend will not say to the bride's face. The talk behind her back however was spreading quickly.
She told me that she posted the dress on TK and got nasty feedback. I wish she would have realized that these comments were what all of bride's BMs and friends were actually thinking. She chose to ignore the advice from TK and go forward with the dress. It would have been great if she would have listened and let TK save us all at this point.
Thankfully the quiet, laid back groom put his foot down and said absolutely not to the leopard print dress. He told her he felt strongly about it and she agreed to not do it. We ended up in black gowns with a leopard print sash that she made. She only used leopard as cute accents here and there in her decor and it looked good. The wedding was very well hosted. And I think she listened to some advice here because BM gifts were all personal and like it was our birthday. She did give us jewelry to wear but told us it was not our present.
Moral of the story, you will hear some "mean" advice on here but if you are doing something that is a not a good idea people that are your friends will actually be saying the same mean things behind your back.